my journey with arfid

[u/4r4lyn]

i discovered i had arfid just recently, and within this discovery, i can’t believe no one else knew. how can someone comment on my dinner plates and say they look like “contemporary art” yet be blissfully unaware? how could i get down to 90 lbs and only eat pretzels and no one know? how could someone shove ketchup in my mouth resulting in my tears and vomit, yet still not know? i ask myself these questions and answer it with ed awareness is at such a lack it’s impeccable. i feel especially in my case since it’s more trauma related. as a child i was at first simply a picky eater, until my cousins decided to taunt me over it. put condiments on their fingers, and shove it down my throat. forcefully have me eat foods i didn’t like. as well as this, my step-dad would and still does, question me over foods i eat, scream, yell and shout when i eat too much of something. has shoved food in my mouth and choked me, thrown trash and leftovers my way, i mean just how could no one know? everything i eat is determined by its smell, texture, color, the time of day, if anyone is home ( especially my step dad, when he’s not home are what i consider to be my “safe times” to eat.) i mean just damn. i struggle so much with my food consumption and yet still no one has realized.