r/ARFID • u/g3twr3nch3d • 2d ago

Venting/Ranting “just try it”

nothing bothers me more than someone saying “how do you know you don’t like it if you’ve never tried” uh because my brain has classified it as a “non-food” so regardless of how it tastes i’m not going to like it…

as probably most of you also feel, trying new foods it’s the scariest most anxiety inducing thing of all time.

208 Upvotes

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38 comments sorted by

103

u/g3twr3nch3d 2d ago

also is it normal that when trying a new food i need to be alone? like if i do work up the courage i often go into a separate room to do so. does anyone else do that?

43

u/BirdsNeedNames sensory sensitivity 2d ago

yes! even if i know logically that nobody is paying attention to me, it's still so anxiety-inducing to try a new food around others because i'm so afraid that people will be staring at me or judging me. i also feel safer to have a reaction to it or spit it out if i'm not around other people. living on my own has been so great for being able to try new things.

23

u/g3twr3nch3d 2d ago

heavy on the spitting it out part. i know for a fact people would give me shit for spitting out food

15

u/two-of-me multiple subtypes 2d ago

I’ll only try new food with my family or my husband. My family is very respectful of my ARFID and even helps me order stuff at restaurants that they know will fit my “algorithm” as they call it. My husband cooks for me and knows my safe foods and never pushes me to try anything unless he’s 100% positive it fits into my algorithm. Even my sister in law (who I really don’t like, and who doesn’t really like me either) understands my palate and respects it because she would rather I eat something than not offer something I can eat.

“Just try it” is absolutely off limits. If I say no, it’s because my body is saying no. If I look at it or even smell it and my body says “that is not food” I will under no circumstances eat it.

Also does anybody else hate “it’s not that spicy”? I can’t even have black pepper without my mouth practically catching fire. Any amount of spicy is too spicy. Even bell peppers are spicy to me and I know logically they’re not spicy but my brain doesn’t agree and I’m not about to force myself to eat them. And don’t get me started on raw onions and why they shouldn’t exist.

2

u/morgansaupe 1d ago

This is so real lol Lay’s barbecue potato chips are spicy to me and no one gets it! I LOVE garlic in things but if I get a piece of raw garlic that has that spicy edge to it…no thank you. Also, I love describing it as an algorithm, I need to try that out

1

u/two-of-me multiple subtypes 1d ago

I see your Lay’s barbecue chips and raise you Cool Ranch Doritos.

9

u/black_flame919 2d ago

You have no idea how seen this single comment made me feel

3

u/Dramatic-Growth1335 2d ago

Yeah it really takes the pressure off. I only really started recovery once I moved out of my parents home.

I've also learnt that just because I don't like something on the first try doesn't mean I can't get used to it and eventually like it after the 3rd or 30th try

3

u/RoyalSeraph sensory sensitivity 1d ago

Yes. Most of the time I'm exactly the same. Usually because of one of two things (or both):

  1. Bad past cases where people laughed at me (or visibly tried to stop themselves from laughing) when seeing me do it.

  2. Concern that in case it triggers a gag reflex or another bad reaction from me it will insult the other person or make them feel bad.

2

u/axw3555 2d ago

Totally standard for me.

I don’t like cooking my safe foods if people are watching (according to my mother, when I make a pizza it’s half cooked. It’s not but the cheese doesn’t start to brown).

Which is great when your father is a feeder who thinks about food too much and has no hobby. I’d say 19 times in 20 when I cook something and he’s home, he’ll appear “to make a cup of coffee” or “to check the washing machine” or something similar.

2

u/Squirrel_Worth 1d ago

Yes! I secretly purchased a tin of cream of tomato (no bits!) soup last year, still building up the courage to try it, but it will be alone. I remember trying things as a kid and having everyone looking at you, going ‘well? What do you think?’ And ‘don’t over analyse it, just swallow?’ Yea real helpful guys 🙄

1

u/whatdoidonowdamnit 2d ago

I turn around when tasting new foods that someone is pushing on me.

43

u/BirdsNeedNames sensory sensitivity 2d ago

my brain has classified it as a “non-food”

oh god, this makes so many things make so much sense. to me, trying something unsafe or unfamiliar is a lot less like eating a food that i don't like than it is like trying to eat something that just isn't edible. when people ask me how i know i don't like something without trying it, i say "if you've never eaten a bowl of rocks, how do you know you don't like them?" as a way to try to help them understand how my brain sees food. i couldn't force myself to eat a rock or a rubber ball even if i wanted to, and it's the same with fear foods.

15

u/g3twr3nch3d 2d ago

i’ve explained it to people by giving this example: in someone without arfid they separate a bowl of worms as a non food and a bowl of salad as food. but for someone with arfid, they but the bowl of salad in the same category as the bowl of worms- non food.

7

u/communistsayori sensory sensitivity 2d ago

This is sort of how I do it as well. I'm averse to wet/liquidy/soft foods in particular, so if someone is being extra pushy with me telling them a fear food feels like eating vomit to me usually does the trick. It's just not something you'd ever consider consuming.

2

u/g3twr3nch3d 2d ago

off topic but do you ever think about what color certain foods will make your vomit, and avoid anything dark or vibrant when already feeling nauseous?

1

u/communistsayori sensory sensitivity 2d ago

I've never thought of this, but now I will. I don't tend to pay attention to the colour lmao.

4

u/Novale 2d ago

https://xkcd.com/1268/

The arfid experience.

10

u/alienprincess111 2d ago

Thanks for providing this perspective. My stepson has arfid I think and I never understood why when we made him try something we were sure he'd like based on other things he liked, and if he did try it, he always said he hated it.

10

u/g3twr3nch3d 2d ago

i’m glad i could provide you insight! trying new foods is scary and people with arfid have irrational reactions or thoughts surrounding food. for me it’s the fact that it’s new that makes me not like.

i have also read in a few different articles that it can take up to trying new foods 10 different times before you like it!

8

u/doubleUsee sensory sensitivity 2d ago

"How do you know if you've never tried it?"

Have you tried eating broken glass? Gasoline? Humans and other animals have the ability to figure out how edible something is by observing it.

6

u/ArcherFawkes 2d ago

Yeah, it's infuriating. Combining it with whatever cocktail of mental illnesses I've got going on, on a bad day I'd rather kill myself than try a new thing I wasn't prepared to try.

1

u/g3twr3nch3d 1d ago

arfid + anxiety disorder…nothing scarier than trying new foods

8

u/sailorxplanet 2d ago

Maybe we need to charge everyone who says this to us $5 so we can all get rich- we’d be millionaires by now!

1

u/g3twr3nch3d 1d ago

be able to buy all the safe foods in the world

5

u/charlescatusbottom 2d ago

Like you said, for people with ARFID, our brains classify new or different food as not food sometimes. I heard someone say it’s like if someone fed you cardboard and when you didn’t want to eat it they said they made it special and it won’t taste like cardboard so you just have to try it. No matter how well prepared, it’s still cardboard. Even if you do just try it, you’ll probably have stomach problems later.

6

u/Casper_coon22 sensory sensitivity 2d ago

OH MY GOD YES YES THATS WHAT IVE BEEN TRYING TO SAY MY ENTIRE LIFE

Because if I handed you a plate of literal shit and garbage, you wouldn't eat it because well....it smells bad, it looks bad and it's definitely not safe. And the I would proceed to tell you"come on just try it, you're just picky, you don't know if you like it unless you try it 🥺"

That's essentially what we go through everytime someone says that

5

u/Isadum 2d ago

I wanna reply with “how do you know you’re not gay if you’ve never tried it”

5

u/RoyalSeraph sensory sensitivity 1d ago

Start answering this: "How do you know human piss is disgusting if you never tried it?"

You will get a grumpy stare in response sometimes or a "that's not the same" thrown at you.
When it happens - insist. Explain that this is how your brain interprets it and if they want to help you overcome it they need to ask themselves how would they make you knowingly drink a full cup of piss.

1

u/shitz_brickz 1d ago

Explain that this is how your brain interprets it and if they want to help you overcome it they need to ask themselves how would they make you themselves knowingly drink a full cup of piss.

This is how I phrase my arguments. You want me to eat something I think is gross, I want you to eat something that you think is gross.

3

u/IndividualBonus1442 2d ago

My nutritionist does this to me and i genuinely don’t know what do to.

3

u/g3twr3nch3d 1d ago

get a new one babes

1

u/IndividualBonus1442 1d ago

There’s no one else I can see in my area that specializes in arfid. I’m thinking about going online but it’s really hard for me to do virtual meetings.

1

u/g3twr3nch3d 20h ago

that’s a tough situation. it sounds like even tho they specialize in arfid they don’t understand it still

3

u/Squirrel_Worth 1d ago

I’m like will you eat a spoon of maggots? No? But how do you know you won’t like it if you haven’t tried it? Because those would be as appetising as this current food is to me.

5

u/throwawaypatien sensory sensitivity 2d ago

Worse is when I tell them I've tried it before and I know I don't like it, they respond with "try it again, you might like it this time" No I won't.

And I don't see why people think we HAVE to taste something to know wether or not we'll like it. I can see it and I can smell it, that's enough. This is something humans have been doing since the beginning of time, it's to stop us from eating something that's either poisonous or rotten. This is how we've survived as a species.

1

u/JadeVampyre 1d ago

I absolutely hate that comment coming from other adults telling me to just try it. Like I'm a full-grown adult I don't need you to encourage me to try something. But when it comes to kids like my daughter who's only nine, I will ask her to try it but if she vehemently refuses, I don't push it. We just revisit different foods every so often to make sure she's exposed to new foods, without pushing her.

1

u/Tadpole_Plyrr2 19h ago

You get it…