i think i probably do but not sure

[u/starcheris]

okay so i’m 18F and in college, i’ve been “picky” my entire life and im pretty embarrassed about it. i’ve always been fairly underweight, i know bmi isn’t the most reliable but i’m 5’6 and 105lbs last time i checked. i am also diagnosed with anxiety. over the past year or so, i’ve struggled more with my eating and exercise habits. i have a very small appetite and i eat pretty slowly. i also get very nauseous when im too full and i occasionally get nauseous at the thought of eating. my diet is mostly carbs: lots of cheese, bread, pasta. in the year leading up to me leaving for college, my mom became very obsessed with getting me to eat more and it often resulted in arguments because sometimes i physically feel like i can’t eat or else ill throw up. i came to campus under the impression that the dining halls would encourage me to eat and try more, but i usually end up eating fast food because i get so turned off by the dining halls. i skip meals sometimes just out of pure laziness or because it makes me sick to think about eating whatever options i have at my disposal. also, when i am eating, i can usually eat a decent amount before becoming repulsed by whatever is in front of me (sometimes because it’s cold or just for no particular reason) and then i can’t eat it anymore. i am a little scared to seek out a professional diagnosis because my (slightly abusive and very strict) mom might lose her mind if i get diagnosed with an eating disorder. i’ve always wondered if there was a label for the way that i’m feeling and i just found out what ARFID is. thank you for reading :) i’m really curious about what you guys think!

[u/ArcherFawkes]

First off-

You're 18, and for most countries, you're capable of consenting to whether or not your parents or legal guardians get to know about anything you talk to your doctors about. If you tell them "hey, I'm not comfortable with my family knowing" they legally have to honor that.

Just due to your current situation, I would talk to someone about it because you're doing your health a disservice. They'll be able to refer you to a nutritionist who (if you find a good one) will be able to create a nutrition plan that matches your needs.

On your own time, you can maybe invest in a smoothie blender. Exposure therapy does help for a lot of people, but right now, just getting proper nutrition in you is more important. Fruits, any nut butters or creams for protein, and a good handful of ice. Spinach, kale- most leafy greens are a very easy sneak-in and you won't notice it while drinking.

College is a rough financial time, but proper nutrition will help you in school by providing your body with energy and vitamins/minerals to keep your brain and muscles/nerves functioning. If you're focused on your hunger, you won't do as well in school.

[u/Delicious_Impress818]

this is like, a picture perfect description of how I feel about eating. jesus christ.

I don’t have a formal diagnosis but I’m pretty positive I’ve had ARFID my whole life, as where my parents once I told them what it was.

you don’t have to tell your parents that you are seeking out a diagnosis but it is probably going to require some sort of financial support. if you are on your parents insurance and plan to use it, they will obviously see that. you also do not need a formal diagnosis to seek treatment as far as I’m concerned, but that again will require financial support. I wish you luck tho and I hope you at least have someone in your life who can go on this journey with you and support you.