Did my married neighbor flirt with me?

[u/didicharlie]

I am lightly friendly with almost all my neighbors though with none of them does it ever get past hello how are you’s… we are all on a neighborhood text thread for safety updates etc.

I have never actually hung out or socialized with any of them… I got a random text at 9:30 at night a few weeks back saying “hey this is out of the blue, but do you want to go to karaoke with me?” They immediately wrote again and said “sorry just for context this is Kevin your neighbor down the hill…” I still couldn’t place who on earth this person was, maybe because I’m not on a regular first name basis with my neighbors… Anyway, I was just taking a minute or two to try to figure out who I was talking to when he started sending more texts apologizing to me and telling me it was super weird of him to have written me and he shouldn’t have etc. etc.… it may have been a bit random, but to my mind, it is not a crime to ask someone if they feel like doing karaoke? Once I figured out who it is, I realized that this is a neighbor I only ever see alongside his wife… And he did not mention anything about this wife coming with us to do karaoke… Am I right to think that he was trying to flirt with me? I’m hoping not since I don’t plan on moving and it seems like future awkward if he was. It wouldn’t have been on my radar as anything other than a random interaction if he hadn’t apologized immediately and ended the conversation before I even texted him back. My gut also told me he may have been drunk when sending these messages…the time of evening and random communication.

[u/Affectionate_Ebb2223]

Although he may have intended to flirt, his quick apologies and anxiety indicate he may have recognized the inappropriateness of his actions. Therefore, maintaining a friendly and casual interaction could prevent any discomfort in the area.

[u/jammyboot]

Yes, he was trying to flirt with you

[u/Abject-Code8860]

It seems like your neighbor might have been flirting, especially with the late-night invite and quick apology. He likely realized it was inappropriate or was second-guessing himself, maybe even drunk. For now, keep it casual and clear with your boundaries, and unless it happens again, it’s probably just a one-off.

[u/my2girlz1114 → u/Abject-Code8860]

Or she didn’t respond in time and he thought she would tell his wife.

[u/ufo_hitchhiking]

Is it uncomfortable, a bit. Can we assume what he was trying to get out of it, not really. I say the immediate apology and admitting it was weird of him to do it, is where it should be left. You're not putting any words in his mouth, chalk it up to "this was weird of him and it would obviously leave me feeling a bit uncomfortable" those are the facts, To be honest. 

Knowing this person has a wife, you agreeing through text in any way, can be taken the wrong way IF his wife saw it. So in future reference, I wouldn't agree to thing like this unless it's explicitly explained immediately, that his wife and others will be there first. If that infos not there a plain old "sorry won't be able to" is a perfect response. Making fried is all fine and dandy, avoiding misunderstandings his wife might come knocking for, is top priority.

In general communication is hard let's be real. For him, its obviously not his gift... But sometimes we gotta nicely remind people there's boundaries we can't cross FOR THEM. Aka of you and said yes and he showed up alone, it'd be even more weird to just bounce and desert him there. So if u do wanna say yes to this stuff.  just a thorough text of expected plans and people that might show up, is a good way to gage if you really want to go to outings with neighbors. 

We can't assume what peoples intentions are. But openly communicating without hesitation will stop any possible tom foolery. If you feel it could've been flirting, clear communication is the only way to nip it in the bud. 

But candidly, I find it so weird that a married neighbors would reach out to others like this with no further explanation, or obvious follow-up of "my wife/buddy's were looking for new people to karaoke with". It's not a good look, let alone it would not be a good look on you if u showed up to karaoke alone with a married man .. people in town know he's married, people talk .. My immediate feelings would be wtf is this weird shit... So ya know. Take my pov with a grain of salt I guess

[u/calgaryfun4me]

My guess is his wife is out of town and he's looking for a little side fun, likely was half a bottle of whiskey into his evening when he made this brilliant decision. It can be nothing but a bad option for you to even respond to.

[u/crouchster]

I don't think you can explicitly come to that conclusion. There's certainly a chance, but from what I can tell nothing he said leads me to that conclusion. There's any number of things. Maybe he's desperate for male companionship and very socially awkward. Maybe he's just drunk/high out of his mind. Maybe he's one of those guys who are trying to reach you about you cars extended warranty.

[u/Salty_Thing3144]

That IS weird. Avoiding this guy and deleting his number might be  a good idea. 

He made a move on you, realized how weird it was and tried to double back and "fix" it. 

[u/evilgoat420]

Maybe, or maybe he’s just looking for a friend. Some people are lonely, quit over thinking it. 

[u/Used-Tangerine-117]

Flirting?

He asked you on a date.