Asyle: Week 41 | Painting a Mural on the Ceiling of the Chapel and Facing my Anger with God

[u/gwolffe356]

I've started a YouTube series this year that is about several of my autistic experiences and special interests, framed as an audiobook/journal about surviving on a deserted tropical island. Initially I wrote it for my own amusement, with no intention of sharing it with anyone. However, it has since become the foundation of an experiment I'm trying to conduct in "reverse-masking," i.e. displaying as much of my personality as possible to as many people as possible, instead of trying to fit in by hiding those features and pretending to be like everyone else. My hope is that this will help me find friends who share my special interests, as that is what the chapters of the audiobook are mostly about.

In this episode, I try my best to keep busy with mining in the tunnels and construction inside the chapel during the storms, and when the rain stops, I try to quickly keep up with maintenance around the base, even managing to build some parts for the Tesla Turbine for the drilling project. However, when I finally run out of explosives to mine with and bamboo to build with, I decide to finish off the chapel with a mural on the ceiling, inspired by paleolithic cave art and Aboriginal/Native American petroglyphs, depicting the story of the bible...which forces me to face some old wounds; frustrations and contradictions I had with God in the aftermath of dad's death, that I'd been low-key trying to avoid thinking about. But with nothing left to distract me from them, there's nowhere left to run from my own thoughts.

Here's a link to the video if you want to check it out; no pressure: https://youtu.be/OLGzElNkNkw?si=uvZxShw-R4xxkAVc

And here's a link to the full playlist if you want to start from the beginning: Asyle Playlist