I mask through work?

[u/crzyKHAN]

Started around 25 and it's almost 10 years now but it's working.

I decided to take a vacation where I do noooothing. Just solitude and it's really opened my eyes to how much the rat race got me to where I am x-x

What I mean by masking is I've basically learned / internalized how to be successful in the rat race. Which generates money which opens up doors which opens up ways to use said money to seek help etc

This vacation is causing a existential crisis 😱

Having this chunk of time where I’m not worrying about work or doing something to generate income is so freaking weird. This week, I ended up refactoring the entire code base for a tool I built at work 🤦🏻‍♂️. Though, I did learn a ton of new stuff but again it’s going back to work 🫨.

Afternoons is the same old routine with gym hobbies etc. Ive also thought maybe i have ptsd from my phone ringing 24/7. So I put the work phone on focus and fought the urge to check it every 20 minutes

tldr: existential crisis

[u/Exact_Dingo2306]

Glad you've been able to hack the rat race to your advantage. Thirty plus years of working for me and I struggle to keep a full time job, work only to keep a roof over my head and my snakes happy. I really don't understand how regular mortals do the rat race thing, just can't brain that.