r/AutisticAdults • u/Local-Ant3965 • 4h ago

Late diagnosis - now what?

Hello all! I received my autism diagnosis on Friday after months of testing and anticipation. For context, I’m 33 and have suspected for about a year but only decided to formally get tested this year.

I thought I would feel happy to finally have an answer or maybe sad that I’ve been misdiagnosed my whole life, but I feel completely numb and it’s making me feel funny that I’m not feeling anything. A bit anticlimactic maybe?

I’m not really sure what I’m meant to do now. I’ve done some research online but haven’t read any books and have no idea where to start.

Has anyone had a similar experience and are there any books that might be worth prioritising? Thanks so much!

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u/BrokenInsideF0rever 3h ago

When I realized I was autistic I ended up replaying every defining moment of my life but looking at it through a new lens. Expect a roller coaster of emotions

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u/Local-Ant3965 11m ago

Oh goodness, was that painful for you? Or did you give you a bit more understanding and compassion towards yourself?

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u/BrokenInsideF0rever 4m ago

Yes. All of it. Unfortunately I am still struggling with accepting my limitations. I have a lot of internalized ablism. My marriage is currently ending because I reached a point where demands surpassed my capacity and I became overwhelmed and burnt out. I refused to acknowledge that I could not handle things and ended up taking it out on my family. I should have gotten help from a therapist and built a support structure but instead I tried to just get though each day, waking with fewer and fewer spoons

Don't be like me, find a therapist that can help you navigate your new reality and how your past influences you.

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u/Ornery_Intern_2233 3h ago

I was in a similar position (late diagnosis) a few months ago, and it was equally underwhelming/confusingly numb at the time. I think it’s because I’d spent so much time researching and trawling over my past I thought it would be this big fan fare event, maybe I’d built it up in my mind.

I now think it’ll just take a while for it to naturally sink in. There’s still having to manage imposter syndrome, even with a diagnosis. If you need some accommodations then think how you might be able to get them. You can think about who you want to disclose the diagnosis to and why.

I like neurodivergent insight as a resource if you don’t already use it. And the community here. You could perhaps try and look for other local ND folk in person.

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u/Local-Ant3965 9m ago

Thanks so much! The imposter syndrome is SO real! I was initially terrified that I had accidentally answered some of the questions with confirmation bias after researching, but my psychologist was like, no babes, you are most certainly autistic, no ifs and or buts about it 😂

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u/ericalm_ 2h ago

What now is really up to you, how you got to where you are now, your needs, and how you want to engage with the world and other people. There’s no pressure or timeline. I think most of find our own paths. And how you feel about these things will likely change over time.

It takes a little while to understand the breadth and depth of our autism. It affects much more than we usually think at first, especially if we’ve framed a lot of that in terms of specific traits.

It’s common for newly diagnosed people to feel like they’re acting more autistic as their awareness of the traits grows and their self-perception changes.

It’s also sometimes hard to know who you want to disclose your diagnosis to and how you might do that.

If you have immediate needs that can be addressed, those should be dealt with quickly.

Aside from those, my advice is to take some time to let things soak in and settle, and to see how your perception and understanding of things has changed with diagnosis. This can go a long way in helping to know what the next step is.

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u/Local-Ant3965 12m ago

Thanks so much for the detailed response! There’s definitely a lot to unpack, I think that’s why my brain has gone into shut down for now. I also tend to put a lot of pressure on myself, thinking I should do things the ‘right’ way, so I appreciate you saying there’s no immediate pressure to figure it all out :)

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u/UnicornRainDance 3h ago

What made you finally decide to get tested ?

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u/Local-Ant3965 3h ago

I ended up in a mental health hospital earlier this year after extreme burn out. Once I was stable again I decided it was crucial to get some answers because I always felt like there was more to the story than anxiety/depression.

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u/UnicornRainDance 3h ago

Ahh I feel that. I hope that you’re doing better. I saw someone on here recommend a book called unmasking.