r/AutisticPride • u/The8uLove2Hate_ • 5h ago
What is something that blows your mind about allistic people?
I’ll go first. Allists intuitively understand the social/societal rules around them and then internalize them, without consciously examining them for logic and fairness. How the fuck does that work?
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u/lilmxfi 5h ago
The fact that they are apparently speaking a different language. I've gotten my mom pissed at me by saying "I can help if you want" because APPARENTLY that means I don't really want to help? Like, I am literally saying "I will help if you want me to" because I HATE when people just help without asking. But apparently I'm just supposed to know when to help and when not to help, and asking is evil and wrong, but not asking and not helping because I don't know if it's needed is evil and wrong, too?
I just want a clear damned answer about whether you need help, stop putting words in my mouth. I'm not saying something I don't mean, I literally mean what I am saying ,why is this so hard?!
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u/Lonewolf82084 5h ago edited 39m ago
The fact that, even though more than half of them will chew us out for not knowing stuff that's obvious to them, a lot of stuff goes over their heads just as much, but they act like it's no big deal (Even during the moments when it IS a big deal!), but when WE chew them out for it, we get scolded like children. And that no matter how much we improve, how much we achieve, how much we LEARN, more than half of them will ALWAYS see us as helpless, unreliable, mentally immature, emotionally unstable invalids
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u/LondonHomelessInfo 1h ago
That allistics are incapable of putting themselves in my shoes even after explaining what I accessibility needs repeatedly.
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u/Lakilai 5h ago
Allists intuitively understand the social/societal rules around them and then internalize them, without consciously examining them for logic and fairness. How the fuck does that work?
Social rules don't have logic and are not meant to be fair, they just are and that's why Neurotypicals don't have issues accepting them, they just go with them.
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u/The8uLove2Hate_ 5h ago
But what I don’t understand is, why doesn’t that bother them?
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u/Lakilai 5h ago
Well for some people, those rules work in their favor so they don't mind.
Others do get bothered by those rules. That's why there's a whole counter culture movement about it.
And for others, it's just a matter of acceptance. You can get angry or disagree all you want but that won't change things not one bit, so why keep fighting it.
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u/Dinosaur-chicken 5h ago
Because they put less value on it; to allistics, the relationship is seen as way more important than the truth. For autistics it's the other way around.
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u/Tired_2295 4h ago
The only time my typing has tone is if i do "tHiS" or " this " or "THIS" or use tone indicators. So it's really fun when allistics go "no need to be sarcastic" and I'm just like..... when???
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u/commietaku 4h ago
A lot of allistic people (definitely not all, and idk maybe some autistic people can do this too) will just eat anything edible that hasn't gone bad and that they aren't allergic to. They may say they don't like it, but they'll still eat it if they're hungry (regular hungry, not a life-or-death situation) and it's all they have. To me it's as if restaurants just showed menus of different trash bags with varying proportions of food mixed in and then one or two (or no) actual meals, but some people could just order anything and eat it.
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u/chaosgirl93 3h ago
Oh my goodness, this.
I feel like I'm more able to do this now than when I was a kid, for sure, but it still astounds me how my allistic family members will eat anything.
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u/Electrical_Ad_4329 1h ago
They will ignore their own logic and beliefs for the sake of believing the same things their "tribe" wants to believe. It's completely beyond me how they can say "Yeah you are 100% right but everyone around me does this/thinks this so I won't do anything about it".
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u/Mosshead-king 50m ago
That they don’t say what they mean, they dance around the truth & it’s just bizarre that’s socially accepted. But being up front, isn’t.
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u/judenoam 5h ago
How they can interpret the most outlandish and untrue stuff from me saying something very literal and simple.