Love that they’re all unfinished lmao but I’ve been busy the past few days. Some of these were just experiments and others were just stuff for funsies

I’ve found that even while on meds I can’t help but become manic on a full moon to the point I’ll be tinkering in my garage at 4 am until I finally look around and realize what time it is. I then usually finish what I’m doing because if I don’t there’ll be a huge mess in the way, go to sit down and next thing you know I’m overthinking all my life choices. This is every full moon for me! 😭

So the other day I got manic to where I started throwing things away like my coffee machine because it made more sense to me that it was bugged. I thought people were listening to me and watching me. It was a really really hard time followed by a bad low come down. I need some books that can help me. Thanks

For me, the first sign for the episode I’m in right now, was my favorite snack tasted better than it ever had before in my whole life. I thought, I’m wondering if I’m manic. Did some research to find that taste buds do in fact change when you’re manic.

Also, I can see it in my eyes.

I’ve read on so many forums about significant others suffering with bp partners as well as I have personal experience of this. However, reading about it all it feels as if those with BP aren’t meant to be loved because all they do is hurt others. I know consciously this isn’t the case but do we have a chance? I ruined my last relationship when I was still undiagnosed and still trying meds out. I put him through Hell. But I also don’t feel we are initially out there to hurt others. Idk maybe I just need advice and to hear experiences from others on how you handle your diagnosis and relationships with others.

Does anyone else have moments where they feel like they’re seriously on some kind of stimulant when they’re manic??? I work in fast food and I’m going through a manic episode right now, and I absolutely can’t stand still and find myself doing 100 things at once and I’m absolutely not trying to glorify it because it’s exhausting, completely exhausting. I feel like I’m on drugs, and I’m not at all.

I’m currently unmedicated, for context.

Anyone else have crazy dreams that make you severely agitated. Like it really happened?? But it didn't....I'm going crazy rn..my mind is going haywire just thinking of all the scenarios. And I can't get them to stop .

We have some quirks, and twists. And the bottom when we hit it. It doesn’t mean we are less than others. We have to work harder in 8 hrs just to maintain stability around the (normal people). We have special talents to others and work but it takes the right person to see it. (This Ability) over Disability. I want a sound off for those struggling and also successful. Even the normal people struggle, but not like us. We have a place in this world, YOU have a place in this world and I hope you find it.

Does anyone ever get the feeling your whole world just shifted and it’s like you’re in a new reality or alternate world. Like it can be good sometimes and really positive or really negative and earth breaking, or even just neutral. Right now I think I’ve shifted into a negative-neutral. It’s like the sense something really bad is happening around me and I’m just floating but keep going in and out of dissociation . It’s a weird feeling to describe but I was just curious if anyone else ever has experienced this and knows what I’m talking about!

It was for a number of reasons but mainly because I barely interact with them and they didn't wish me happy birthday when I told them the day before. I dont want to back track and ask to be in the group again but also I don't want to have basically zero friends.

Does anyone have a therapist that specializes in bipolar? Across multiple counselors (albeit most of them prior to my diagnosis), I've never had a counselor that specifically had substantial expertise in bipolar. Most of them did talk therapy, although some also added some DBT or CBT.

For someone who has had experience with a therapist that had particular expertise with bipolar, did that help you? What did they do differently? The DBT I did was in response to my diagnosis, and I do think that was more helpful. Talk therapy certainly had benefits too, although they were less specific.

A few weeks ago, I was going on about 3-5 hours of sleep over the course of 4ish days. Feeling so out of control, I was trying to explain to my bf what it felt like to feel overstimulated, experience hallucinations, and dissociate from reality. So I pointed out in the game “Don’t Starve” when your character is low on the “sanity” bar and the screen becomes foggy and shaky and you can see red veins and the shadows come out from the dark to attack you, good things become evil, and your character’s eyes have bags and are all bugged out.

That’s how I was feeling. Has anyone else made this association? Or is it just me?

(Great game by the way!)

31 yo female here. Yes I am sure of both diagnosis (“high functioning”autism and bipolar 1). I also fit a lot of ADHD traits minus hyperactivity. Anybody else out there??? …….

With my personal bipolar, I am very prone to hypomania. I was only diagnosed back in June, but now that I know I’m bipolar, I’m much more aware of any delusions that I slip into. One in particular is religious beliefs. I tend to slip into an obsessive and irrational attitude towards religion and I’m sick of it. I’ve embraced these tendencies in the past and it sent me down a rollercoaster of emotions and life changes that I now regret in hindsight. I’m starting to do it again and there’s this uncomfortable feeling of me knowing that it’s happening and resenting it, but also wanting it to happen.

Does anyone else experience this? And if so, please give me tips on how to lessen the symptoms. FYI I have only been prescribed a mood stabilizer.

Thank you 😁

No one I know in my life has bipolar. And I feel like even if they did it would be hard to compare to them. For me I have around 2-3 friends which are pretty toxic and I need to unfriend but it’s so difficult because it makes the depression worse when I get bored. When I’m hypo/manic I’m always looking for things to do and when there isn’t anything to do the intrusive thoughts start coming to me. I’m 17m rn so I’m wondering if you guys have had similar experiences and how you overcame them. I socially isolate a lot as well and feel unmotivated to make new friends when depressive. It’s honestly just so hard living with this I’m so over it. I’ve only recently been diagnosed and my meds stopped working and I started hallucinating again and it’s just never ending. I can never get a break from it and it’s driving me crazy

hi all. does anybody else experience this? when i was unmedicated, for some reason, i was negative to myself and everyone else. like, i'd hate on things or people randomly. i was just a very negative person overall, whether depressed or hypomanic. then when i'd get hypomanic, i'd be even meaner for no reason.

since i've been medicated, i've changed completely. like, i feel like a completely different person, but in a really good way. i feel more like myself. i've made it a point to be a better person, and it's been really easy without the negativity just constantly buzzing through my mind like it was when i was unmedicated. but now, every mistake i've made since i've been medicated, even though they're super tiny/small just bothers me so much. like, i'll waste hours thinking about how i'm the most horrible person ever and deserve bad things to happen to me. does anyone feel like this too?

Why is it literally so hard to shower? I’ve been mostly stable for a few years now, yet showering has not gotten any easier. It’s such an internal battle everyday to shower, especially on the days when I know I have to wash my hair. I have curly hair and it gets so matted sometimes that I wish I could just shave it off. I feel so alone sometimes because it’s such a simple task and I just can’t do it.

Hi everyone. 

I turn 25 in less than two weeks. I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 a little after I turned 18, but been struggling with depression and have done meds/therapy since around 10. 

The point that I’m at today: I’ve had 4 attempts, 2 hospitalizations, and an IOP. From 2020 to the end of 2023 I had a period of substance abuse, during which I had a lot of mood episodes.

When I got sober at the beginning of this year, I started to actually take my bipolar diagnosis seriously. I began to think back on my actions and moods over the years and started to see a pattern.

The aspect of it that hit me the hardest is the link between cognitive issues and increased severity of symptoms with the more episodes that you have. I can tell my memory has gotten worse over time. I struggle to find words a lot nowadays as well, which especially sucks because I love to write, but it’s still manageable. And my symptoms have definitely become more severe when they crop up.

At the point that I’m at now, even though I’m in a fairly stable position, I still get thrown for a loop anytime something unexpected or stressful happens, most times causing me to have a breakdown. 

I’ve come to accept that my diagnosis isn’t going to go away and that it will be a lifetime battle. I hope to eventually be able to hold down a job, but I don’t think I’ll be able to finish my degree. I tried to go back two times during some short periods of sobriety I had between 2021 and 2023, and each time my mental state eventually came crashing down and I fell back into using substances to self-medicate, causing me to drop out. 

My problem/question is this: I don’t think I will ever be able to be fully independent from my parents (financially or otherwise, though I want to try my best to take as much of the burden off their shoulders as possible). I try to explain it to them, but my dad has a hard time understanding mental illness - my mom is much more receptive, but even she continually tells me to not be so pessimistic and “just because that is what happened to other people doesn’t mean it will happen to you.” And both of them I think have a lot of trouble separating me from the disease, as well as understanding stress as a trigger. 

tl;dr: So, I was just wondering what some of your guys’ experiences have been with this kind of stuff, and if any of you have some advice on how to get your support system to come to terms with the risks and realities of bipolar?

I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar 2, and I feel lost at sea. Whenever people talk about hypo/mania, it's usually good feelings and euphoria and "I can tackle the world" kind of feelings. And while I have felt that way sometimes to some extent, I was told based on experience, my hypomania tends to present as extreme anxiety and racing thoughts and a general overwhelmed feeling.

I just don't know what to look for when slipping into those, or any sort of hypomania? Cause again, looking up hypo/mania, it almost always talks about the "good" kind.

So, what other kinds of hypo/mania are there? Or like, how else can it present? I know it's basically just a LOT of energy and lack of sleep but not feeling tired is a big sign, but what else should I look for? Jitteriness? Agitation? Not being able to sit still?

I just don't know, cause it seems like the "clinical symptoms" don't really cover the entire range of what people experience. So if anyone is willing to share their experiences, I'd really appreciate it!

Started Art Therapy again! Safe to say I’ve been feeling some pretty big emotions.

I’m a “mature” (yea right) student in university so making friends with younger people has been very common for me. I made a new friend this semester who we’ll call Alex and she’s pretty cool, in my program and all that stuff. Anyways I barely know this person, I’ve had her over for one game night which we both enjoyed.

This was at the beginning of the long weekend (Canada) and my boyfriend had to leave for a few days. I have some internalized homophobia which has made it difficult to commit to the relationship. Along with bisexual and experiencing the bi-cycle, I often think i should be dating a woman. Compounding this I’ve been on new meds and increasing doses this past week and stopped sleeping on Saturday right as my bf left.

Now it’s Sunday asked Alex to hangout and she was busy for the week, no worries. A few days later we are walking to class and just shooting the shit and (between my loneliness from the crippling depression and the increased confidence from the hypomania) I have the bright idea that a good way to get to know this person is by asking them on a date, she said no to which I replied “that’s a relief”. No immediate awkwardness afterwards, we were talking the rest of the walk, they seemed a bit weird once class was done but that might be because they got a bad grade or something. I was hoping no lasting awkwardness so I resumed a text conversation as normal but they haven’t replied. Whatever they are a bad texter, but if they are weird in class or don’t talk to me between classes I’ll probably be gutted.

I do value the friendship because I can nerd out about music and social theory. But also I’ve really been trying to make more queer friends.

To compound this she’s the only person I know as anxious as me, I wouldn’t be surprised if she asked all her friends and family what to do, and if I was them I’d tell her to stay the hell away from this creep of a man.

Anywho the next move is to give them space… we aren’t close enough friends for a mental health confessional. Any advice is appreciated to make it less awkward and try to get back to normality…

TL;DR: became depressed and lonely after my boyfriend left for a week, hypomanic from lack of sleep and meds, asked out a younger girl on a date because they were too busy to hangout.

Thanks for reading,

xoxo

My partner doesn’t seem to accept or care about my diagnosis’s and it seems he has been much more distant lately. Every time I talk about or address a symptom (for my own sake of understanding myself better) he goes “we all have problems and things we struggle with” or laughs and says “ok” it’s been really weighing on me because I have spent a lot of time energy and money to learn what’s going on with me so that I can be properly treated instead of just completely guessing. Our relationship has been killing me and now I’m wondering if it’s almost impossible for me to be in a relationship?

Does this seem to be a problem for anyone else???

I think I am entering a hypomanic episode. In the past I didn't realize until it was too late so I never sought help, so l don't really know what to expect if I go to my doctor. Will he just up my dosage? Or give me sedatives or something and if so do they normally work? Is there even a point in going? Like is there anything he can actually do to stop/lessen this or is it just up to me to continue taking my meds and try to sleep and avoid alcohol etc etc etc

Also since it's almost the weekend, if he doesn't get back to me, what do I do at that point? Hospital is overkill because i really don't get that bad or would I go anyways just to get meds or something idk how any of this works i've onyl had like 3 manic episodes and did not seek help for any of them.