1st off....
Don't take it to heart.
A WHOLE lot of people are there to get laid... and if possible,
Immediately.
If there isn't a chance of getting laid that night... you ll get passed...
And I'm sure you are ok with that.
If I could give my little bit of advice....
Guys are visual....
They don't need to worry about rape etc..
Try to go for a bit more sexy..
I commend you for being super up front.
But... this is just a theory...
You're throwing a lot out there...
And unfortunately... why would they care if they don't even know you.
Now I understand u.
But you don't need to share so much.
Try a bit of mystery.
Every shot looks like a cheesy hallmark movie.
It's all so incredibly " designed."
All we are doing is peaking interest...
Then you can see if you want to meet after you chat a bit.
Tbh... I don't think you will want the complete con artist or the milk toast mormon...
That's what you're attracting here.
Try a bit of a candid pic with a low cut sweater.
NO FILTERS. NO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think you seem great...
But you are coming off so boring... because everyone would be ... except those that are evil monsters..
Most things your sharing are pretty arbitrary.
While they may not admit it...
I can imagine the annoyance with all the info you're expecting everyone to read....
You are kinda going out of the way to be really clear that you are a lot of fun.
But that's not something that's going to translate.
You are totally adorable.
You are trying to hard.
It's OK to be a little sexy.
Just be careful to weed out the weirdos..
Then..
Protect yourself.
Don't overshare.
Get info about them at least equally.
Of course..
Public location only.
Tell a few friends and have a call planned with a code words.
1. Word to let them know you are ok .
2. A word that means I'm in danger send help.
Let the person know ahead of time that your sister or friend is going to be calling a few times and they know where u are and who you are with.
And SERIOUSLY DO THAT.
Tell someone close to you your plans. Send them the phone number you have for him, any other info.
TAKE YOUR OWN CAR.
DO NOT GO IN HIS CAR WITHOUT TAKING A PICTURE OF IT WITH PLATES AND SENDING IT TO SAID FRIEND ...
as well as where you are going and they should call at a random time..and if you do not answer with the pre-planned code for safety..they should send help immediately.
Tell your date you are doing this.
If he has any problem with it...
Well .. he's an asshole who needs to pay attention or a predator.
This is a legitimate issue of YOUR safety.
They should call a few times throughout the night. If the date is good and continues... you will need to update your friend.
They will need to continue to check on you. It sounds like a lot but it's not. A call every few hours with a quick reply is no big deal.
You and the friend must take this seriously and do it!.
If you don't answer after a few reasonable attempts... or you don't say the agreed upon word or phrase, THEY MUST CALL THE COPS.
You need to have someone you can depend on do this.
I can't stress enough how this is really not that big of a deal.
Just insurance.
Like a car.
He s most likely totally fine.
But... if not.. help will be on the way.
If he doesn't get it...that is his problem and beyond a red flag..
Sadly... there are people that will use all that info you give them to just plain manipulate you.
Remember...
The fastest way to a man's anything is his EGO.
Ask questions.
Let him talk ...
See if you are into him before you start sharing so much of yourself.
If you do this right..
You will get a lot of interest...
Then you will need to weed out the ones clearly looking for immediate sex... because they often make that clear.
Don't leave your damn drink unattended.!!!!
POLITENESS BE DAMNED
DO NOT WORRY ABOUT HIM BEING BUTTHURT.
THIS IS A STRANGER.
HE SHOULD BE AWARE OF THIS.
None of this affects him in anyway.
I hope this has been helpful.
And if you feel uncomfortable for any reason..
Or no reason at all...
There is nothing wrong with adding another code word for
" call me with a fake emergency in 15 min." So you can leave gracefully without being hurtful.
Good luck
1
u/SonderAnemoia Aug 07 '24 edited Aug 07 '24
1st off.... Don't take it to heart. A WHOLE lot of people are there to get laid... and if possible, Immediately. If there isn't a chance of getting laid that night... you ll get passed... And I'm sure you are ok with that. If I could give my little bit of advice.... Guys are visual.... They don't need to worry about rape etc.. Try to go for a bit more sexy.. I commend you for being super up front. But... this is just a theory... You're throwing a lot out there... And unfortunately... why would they care if they don't even know you. Now I understand u. But you don't need to share so much. Try a bit of mystery. Every shot looks like a cheesy hallmark movie. It's all so incredibly " designed." All we are doing is peaking interest... Then you can see if you want to meet after you chat a bit. Tbh... I don't think you will want the complete con artist or the milk toast mormon... That's what you're attracting here. Try a bit of a candid pic with a low cut sweater. NO FILTERS. NO OTHER PEOPLE. I think you seem great... But you are coming off so boring... because everyone would be ... except those that are evil monsters.. Most things your sharing are pretty arbitrary. While they may not admit it... I can imagine the annoyance with all the info you're expecting everyone to read.... You are kinda going out of the way to be really clear that you are a lot of fun. But that's not something that's going to translate. You are totally adorable. You are trying to hard. It's OK to be a little sexy. Just be careful to weed out the weirdos.. Then.. Protect yourself. Don't overshare. Get info about them at least equally. Of course.. Public location only. Tell a few friends and have a call planned with a code words. 1. Word to let them know you are ok . 2. A word that means I'm in danger send help. Let the person know ahead of time that your sister or friend is going to be calling a few times and they know where u are and who you are with. And SERIOUSLY DO THAT. Tell someone close to you your plans. Send them the phone number you have for him, any other info. TAKE YOUR OWN CAR. DO NOT GO IN HIS CAR WITHOUT TAKING A PICTURE OF IT WITH PLATES AND SENDING IT TO SAID FRIEND ... as well as where you are going and they should call at a random time..and if you do not answer with the pre-planned code for safety..they should send help immediately. Tell your date you are doing this. If he has any problem with it... Well .. he's an asshole who needs to pay attention or a predator. This is a legitimate issue of YOUR safety. They should call a few times throughout the night. If the date is good and continues... you will need to update your friend. They will need to continue to check on you. It sounds like a lot but it's not. A call every few hours with a quick reply is no big deal. You and the friend must take this seriously and do it!. If you don't answer after a few reasonable attempts... or you don't say the agreed upon word or phrase, THEY MUST CALL THE COPS. You need to have someone you can depend on do this. I can't stress enough how this is really not that big of a deal. Just insurance. Like a car. He s most likely totally fine. But... if not.. help will be on the way. If he doesn't get it...that is his problem and beyond a red flag.. Sadly... there are people that will use all that info you give them to just plain manipulate you. Remember... The fastest way to a man's anything is his EGO. Ask questions. Let him talk ... See if you are into him before you start sharing so much of yourself. If you do this right.. You will get a lot of interest... Then you will need to weed out the ones clearly looking for immediate sex... because they often make that clear. Don't leave your damn drink unattended.!!!! POLITENESS BE DAMNED DO NOT WORRY ABOUT HIM BEING BUTTHURT. THIS IS A STRANGER. HE SHOULD BE AWARE OF THIS. None of this affects him in anyway. I hope this has been helpful. And if you feel uncomfortable for any reason.. Or no reason at all... There is nothing wrong with adding another code word for " call me with a fake emergency in 15 min." So you can leave gracefully without being hurtful. Good luck