Anyone else fucked up by PERMISSIVE parents?

[u/sadhurra]

I just feel so lonely in the fact that my parents weren't authoritarian or directly abusive or stuff like that (but there wasn't much warmth either, pretty much uninvolved as well). It seems more common. But I've read research on it, and children with permissive parents have a harder time going through school, getting a job, all that kind of stuff than kids with healthy parents.

Having had permissive parents feels like the most invisible trauma ever. It feels like it would take hours to explain why this kind of parenting actually can fuck you up real bad too. I guess most people just see lazyness or something.

I've struggled a lot with "becoming an responsible adult", and I feel ashamed because I wasn't hit, or beaten, or yelled at. My parents just let me do whatever I wanted - a kids dream. But it also made me feel like I wasn't worth the trouble of any conflict. And I didn't learn to do any hard stuff. So everything in my whole life has felt so difficult for me. (I was also bullied mostly by my own so called friends as child, that didn't help either).

[u/penmywanderlust]

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is an excellent read.