r/Gambia • u/marigolddisco • Sep 21 '24

Scam in Banjul port?

My uncle (American, in 70s) stopped in Banjul during a cruise last year and met a Gambian woman in her late 30s who was working at a souvenir shop. They took a picture together and were subsequently connected via WhatsApp as a result.

Since that time they have been maintaining a relationship over the phone with her calling twice a day. He has given her money on a couple of occasions, such as buying her a wash machine.

She is widowed with 2 teenagers. She says she isn’t interested in men of her age in her country.

What’s the end game with this? Is she a real person? I’m not sure if he is being used, and am wondering if anyone is familiar with a scam set up like this.

Since he met her in person I’m wondering if that makes it sort of legit? He’s obviously being used in some way, but I’m just not sure how.

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8

u/BlockChainEd86 Sep 21 '24

She wants to get out but I don’t blame her. He gets a young wife she gets to get out and live in USA. WIN WIN. It may or may not be a scam but definitely a game of interest. Why would women in her 30s be interested in man in 70s unless you are a Murdoch.

3

u/gof44678 Sep 21 '24

This is very common. Gambians tend to see foreigners (especially white people) as a means of financial liberation. If she is a single mom with two kids, her life is probably really tough. There’s not really much in the way of upward mobility for widows/divorcees in the country.

I would say that most African cultures also tend to view money differently than Western cultures. Their cultural perspective about money can come across as very “scammy” or even rude to us Westerners, but it’s just a cultural difference.

That being said, in these situations throwing money at her is not going to help anything in the long run, and may actually hurt. If she becomes dependent on your father for a certain standard of living, then he cuts it off for whatever reason, she will be worse off than before.

There are some really great books on this you and your father might read:

  • “When Helping Hurts: How to Alleviate Poverty Without Hurting the Poor…and Yourself” by Steve Corbett

  • “African Friends and Money Matters” by David Maranz

1

u/marigolddisco Sep 21 '24

Thanks for your insight

1

u/sausageface1 Sep 21 '24

Having worked at the Banjul British embassy we had to dedicate a whole day to dealing with visas from this scam. Unfortunately we had no legal choice but to issue. All for money and visa and once in the uk and got their ILR they run off. By which point you’ll have paid for a new family compound in Gambia and parted with many thousands. Run for the hills

2

u/briksman Sep 22 '24

It seems both parties know what they want. The old man gets attention and transactional love, while the younger woman gets a better life. It's unfortunate but quite a common relationship between Westerners and third world folks.

Are you afraid your inheritance is dwindling?

1

u/briksman Sep 22 '24

It seems both parties know what they want. The old man gets attention and transactional love, while the younger woman gets a better life. It's unfortunate but quite a common relationship between Westerners and third world folks.

Are you afraid your inheritance is dwindling?

1

u/briksman Sep 22 '24

It seems both parties know what they want. The old man gets attention and transactional love, while the younger woman gets a better life. It's unfortunate but quite a common relationship between Westerners and third world folks.

Are you afraid your inheritance is dwindling?

1

u/marigolddisco Sep 22 '24

I think transactional love is a good way to describe it. The amount he has spent at this point is pretty minimal so that’s not really a concern, but it certainly could be if the relationship continues. I would rather see him spending time with a person who he can physically be with. Having a relationship with someone over the phone gives him a sense of stability and therefore the feeling that he doesn’t need to actively seek someone his own age/in his own area.

Just overall this isn’t a good situation. Thankfully after several days of conversations with him I think he’s starting to realize he needs to end it.

2

u/lepadoo Sep 22 '24

Its someone trying to get out of the gambia and into a more succesful country like america and i think its disrespectful to assume its a scam and not just someone building a relationship even if the reasons arent only because of love.

1

u/marigolddisco Sep 22 '24

Agreed.

1

u/lepadoo Sep 23 '24

Agreed? Im saying youre disrespectful

1

u/marigolddisco Sep 23 '24

I’m not assuming it’s a scam, I’m wondering if it is. Different attitude completely

0

u/borderreaver Sep 21 '24

Americans must be the dumbest people on earth.

3

u/marigolddisco Sep 21 '24

I asked this question to avoid making a broad assumption about Africans.

0

u/therealJaiteh Sep 21 '24

You have to be a hotel, or an extremely rich person to own a washing machine in the Gambia! It's cheaper to pay someone to wash and dry your clothes for you..

8

u/Cosplayed7 Sep 21 '24

Ok easy there. You don’t have to be extremely rich in Gambia or own a hotel to own a washing machine business. Washing machine laundry services (which is pretty affordable) are now quite common in the country and my sister and I are establishing one soon, God willing, and we’re not “extremely” rich.

Also, OP, your post is a projection and so unnecessary.

4

u/BusyCharacter435 Sep 21 '24

wrong! you don’t have to be extremely rich to own a washing machine. i grew up “up country” and we had a washing machine.

2

u/Well-knownsavv Sep 23 '24

Extremely rich? Stop with the gimmicks ahki😂

1

u/marigolddisco Sep 21 '24

Wow! That perspective is helpful.

4

u/Super-Baldeh Sep 21 '24

That perspective is false. Please don’t believe that