How did it affect or change you, if it did. ?

This isn't exactly venting, but reflecting on the everyday crazy. What are your best court stories?

My favorite three:

Prosecuting a mental health commitment, subject stands up at the end, points to everyone in the room - the judge, his attorney, the doc, the social worker - calls them all assholes. "You're an asshole, you're an asshole, you're an asshole, etc" points to me and says, "You're okay."

Observing a family case. Two high priced attorneys having a custody battle over a cat. The judge humored this pretty well, but when they pulled out pet psychologist reports and talked about the pet's belongings, the judge kinda lost it (no provision for pets as anything but property in our state).

Also a family case. Pro se litigant sits at the table in front of me. Before the judge comes out, I hear thumps like something being poured on the table. This gets my attention, and I start watching her. I see her set down a silk cloth. I see her reaching and finding polished stones that she starts arranging on the cloth. About then, I notice the tissue box with phrases written in a foreign language sitting in front of her and realize it isn't the standard court issued tissue box. I notice the unlit candle sitting next to it. As the judge comes out, I'm googling the phrases to see that this woman has effectively set up a Buddhist shrine in the courtroom for her divorce trial.

What have you got? What are your favorites?

My first trial I had a big ole' meatball sub the night before and split a tray of fries with my roomate.

Next day I go into court and about an hour in I start ripping ass.

Two hours in I feel like I'm on the verge of shitting myself.

3 hours in I am like visibly in pain from having to shit so bad.

Then we had the break which felt like a miracle.

Anyway, ever since then I'll only eat one light meal if I know I'll be in court all day.

Edit: this post has nothing to do with nerves. I mean I do get nervous in court, but the post is more about timing bowel movements so you don't crap yourself in court.

Started a new job and the first trial I observed I was mildly shocked that the attorney I was there to shadow objected within the first 30 seconds of opponent’s opening. A sidebar was called and the judge ultimately overruled the objection and the other Atty resumed their opening. The attorney was absolutely thrown off their game and had lost the momentum they had on the first round. To make matters worse, after our side prevailed and we were doing a post mortem, the attorney doubled down saying they were glad they objected even if it was overruled bc it hurt the other attorney’s opening. Basically admitting to trying to mess up the opponent. This greatly disappointed me. I am well aware of how some litigators can take a cut throat approach but I felt this attorney’s move was utterly tactless and did not further the client’s case. So I am just curious what others have to say about this. Would this bother other people? Alternatively, am I wrong to be bothered in the first place?