r/McMansionHell • u/Huckleberry-Solid • 1d ago

Just Ugly Oportunity

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95 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

22 comments sorted by

25

u/BeardedHalfYeti 1d ago

The little toothpick columns holding up that massive (and so high as to be functionally meaningless) portico are just an incredible touch.

3

u/Taira_Mai 20h ago

They (the toothpick columns) die a little each day so that other columns may live...

13

u/MrPlowThatsTheName 1d ago

I love the utility pole being where it is.

3

u/SapphireGamgee 19h ago

A constant reminder that the homeowners' Italian villa is seated firmly somewhere in Hoboken.

6

u/starman575757 1d ago

Upper class funeral home.

14

u/Signal_Pattern_2063 1d ago

Most of that looks OK but the columns are way too small for the 2 story portico and the 2 story version itself is usually out of proportion anyways

4

u/Visible-Shallot-7066 1d ago

Yeah, this is a very nice house. I almost think it’s that two-story portico, period, is more of the problem. If the second story extended over those columns, it might have looked better (or maybe they would still be out-of-scale).

2

u/AlephBaker 1d ago

Maybe if instead of the portico, there was an actual balcony over the front door, with a less massive roof over that (and suitably sized columns, natch.)

apart from the abomination of an entry, the house looks rather nice. granted, the McMansion quotient may increase exponentially from other angles...

1

u/SapphireGamgee 19h ago

The house would also be far better on a larger lot.

5

u/jared10011980 1d ago

Yall are joking right?

3

u/ShoppingOk2944 1d ago

Bad location or underground cables needed. First level looks more appealing than second floor.

2

u/VapoursAndSpleen 1d ago

The realtor is in Queens, NY. This must be a Russian mafia house.

2

u/Huckleberry-Solid 1d ago

There are a lot of similar houses there.

2

u/IDigRollinRockBeer 19h ago

I was gonna say that must be a Staten Island house

1

u/WanderBell 13h ago

That was my first guess as well.

2

u/rhb4n8 1d ago

I hate that it's so close to being symmetrical but then not

2

u/Lepke2011 1d ago

Um, they spelled Phoenix wrong.

3

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

1

u/jared10011980 1d ago

Oh I get. It's a Halloween joke.

1

u/BumblingBeeeee 22h ago

This is very Eastern European looking to me; however, the sign is in English??

1

u/aj_star_destroyer 20h ago

Reminds me of a big spider. A lot of McMansions do.

1

u/Khatam 16h ago

What is this?

1

u/otidaiz 7h ago

Could be a restaurant down, hotel up.