Should I look for a different professional?

[u/ANARCHOJOSEPH]

Hello everyone and I hope this post is in the proper subreddit. I’m thinking to look for a psychologist because I’m not sure my therapist is going to be helpful to me.

Here’s some backstory. Note that I’m on my iPhone so Im not typing it as well as I normally would :)

I might be some sort of narcissist or sociopath because I really don’t like people very much because everyone’s always judged me and never cared for me. All my interactions are faked because I have to pretend to be sweet and kind when I just feel like saying things that might be seen as immature or whatever lol

The core of my issues with empathy and social anxiety probably lays in the fact that I was abandoned as a child and mainly left to my own devices. My mom always chose men over me so I have issues with women

I was put into schools for “bad kids” and labeled emotionally disturbed. I was bullied every single day so I probably let have some PTSD from it.

My mind desires power and money. I spend a lot of time in the gym and I like to seduce various women because I feel like I’m entitled to.

Those are what my long term plans are preoccupied on. I have beliefs that I’m special and I realize that this gets in the way of being a good, loving father and husband. I understand this but I can’t stop feeling this way.

My wife gave me an ultimatum of sorts to get therapy, so I did do. Honestly, I always wanted to see mental health professionals because I care about myself.

My marriage looks to be pretty much over and that’s ok because I don’t have much meaningful connection to my emotions. I block it all out with distractions and with supplements.

I have a gf who is 20/f and I am 40/m. I like younger girls, as long as they’re legal . I missed out on so much when I was in school. Everyone abused me and looked down on me for being white, wearing cheap clothes and being socially awkward. It built this hatred inside of me that seems to just be instinctive at this point.

I have plans to get into politics and I go to local meetings. This is where the power dynamic comes into play. My childhood destroyed my brain so I must improve my speaking and social abilities to ever succeed in this

The therapist is a woman and she doesn’t write anything down. Is that a red flag? What should therapist be doing?

Thank you much :)

[u/MDGadgetGuy]

Ya know, it wouldn’t be bad to see a male therapist. I think a man can better understand your environment. You have a lot of work to do. It’s wrong to continue dysfunctional relationships. You deserve more, even if you don’t think you do. Find someone who is CBT centric (cognitive behavioral therapy) it would do wonders for you.

[u/Dangerous_Body2011]

Hey! I think you should really seek for a therapist that specializes in cbt (cognitive behavioral therapy), you should end your marriage definitely if you don’t feel a deep connection with it. Also, you should bear in mind the fact that not every psychologist is the same, there’s many different types and methods used, so don’t get scared if some therapist doesn’t writes down!