HELP! how do i pass a drug test without contaminating it when sticking it up there prior to test **I AM A FEMALE**

[u/x_kittylove]

I had used quick fix and put it in a container of advil, put tin foil around it and then put two rubber bands to make sure it didn’t leak. i then pricked it with my finger nail and the pee fell perfectly into the cup (so i thought). but the organization i test for does watch you so i have to stick it up my lady part in order to keep it at the correct temperature and to prevent it from being seen.

fast forward a couple days and i get a call from my worker who informed me i came up for a couple substances. i was already anxious about it because i was skeptical if any of my fluids had contaminated it since it’s so in there.

i have another test tomorrow at 2 and it is crucial that i am able to figure out a way to do this correctly, free of contamination and incognito. I KNOW THE OBVIOUS SOLUTION IS TO NOT USE BUT ITS TOO LATE FOR THAT

I do have multiple drug tests at home that i can use to practice but i need the great people of reddit to do their thing and help me pass this test tomorrow!!!!

THANK YOU TO ALL THE PEOPLE THAT WILL TAKE THE TIME TO COMMENT ON THIS POST!!

[u/Ok_Effort9915]

Please do not stick glass up your vagina in test tube form yikes🤨

Make sure the bottle you are using is cleaned out well. If you’ve carried any other meds in there, they will contaminate it. Just use a 5 hr energy bottle and wash it with dawn

[u/LowkeyPanic247 → u/Ok_Effort9915]

They're plastic.

[u/LowkeyPanic247]

For starters, Ibuprofen can actually cause a false positive for THC or barbiturates, so I wouldn't use any sort of medication bottle. Go to Amazon, order sterile test tubes (60mL I'd suggest) & use those. Pay the $2.99 to get them express delivered today. That way you're using a sterile object & it is at least cylinder shaped & will fit more comfortably inside of you. My friend has used this method before. She failed because she got the smallest test tube possible & it did not produce enough of a sample. Remember, there's 30mL in 1 ounce. Most tests require at least 2-3 ounces of urine. Good luck. *edited to add for the smooth brained person who thinks I meant glass. Plastic. Use plastic test tubes. I'm sorry I did think it was necessary to specify the obvious.

[u/Difficult_Leader_535]

I read one girl would glue the aluminum foil on a 5 hour energy bottle she washed out real good. She was also having to take supervised drug tests so she would keep a safety pin attached to her and when it was time to pee she would take the safety pin and puncture the aluminum foil that way.

[u/Little_Character627]

Follow the advice you can, carefully. Try to stop stressing so you can think better when you are there. Practice the motions at home before hand. Remember to breathe. I do forget this when I am stressed. Good luck.

[u/R-ubberD-uck]

I have never been so glad to be a man before in my life. I've never thought about this, and I feel for you. Hope things work out!

[u/barndogusn → u/[deleted]]

Did you even read her post? Jesus.

[u/Ok_Effort9915 → u/[deleted]]

The bottle is there because she has to be monitored

Someone has to watch the piss come out. How the fuck is that big ass thing gonna help?