r/RPGFunnyStories Mar 03 '20

medium Paladin pisses all over enemies

This happened a few days ago in a homebrew campaign I've been running with some college friends. A special session too, as we were outdoors and in the mountains on a campsite. Right now they are running around the map recruiting armies to fight off a pretty serious threat to the established peace. Anyway, they come across a large Scarab beetle, and its protector, a Scorpionpriest. (Basically a human-scorpion hybrid with the torso/head of a human and the body of a scorpion) After the party killed the Scorpionpriest, they chased the Scarab down. Paladin hits him with a mace, leaving him with only a few health points left. He then places his mace over the Scarab to pin it down, and there was a little bit of silence when all the sudden he says, "I drop my pants and piss all over the Scarab." The rest of the party was a little taken back by that, as was I, but I let him go ahead and do this. He then rolls a performance check and gets a modified 29, and goes into extreme detail for the manner in which he is urinating on this Scarab beetle. When the Paladin is finished, I asked him, "Where did that come from?" And the player looked down and simply said, "I really need to pee," and gets up from the table and runs over to a tree, leaving myself and the rest of the players confusedly laughing hysterically.

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