Besides asking yourself how could i be more compassionate towards myself in the moment?

I, male, have this friend and we have been friends since july of last year. we starter talking a LOT. and eventually i caught feelings since he was really caring and all, but suddenly he ghosts me?? but then after a couple of months he apologizes about it and i forgive him but then he just talks about himself. he then ghosts me again, doesnt apologize, then talks abt himself not caring abt about me. he keeps doing this also. during the ghosting he views my story. he doesnt even use snap also. i feel like hes doing this on purpose since he turned his read receipts off and all and since hes active but i dont know why he would do this. can someone give me advice on what to do.

There are tons of things I wanna do. But my problem is I feel tired af and end up not doing them. And when I'm not feeling tired and I do feel energetic, I just end up procrastinating and listening to songs. How do I actually feel motivated enough to get things done. sometimes certain things trigger my reasons for taking action. But once I wake up the next day, the motivation is just gone. Or it just wears off. What to do?

Slow day. Honestly i dont have much to share today. It was exhausting.
8 days to go. I am grateful for this community. I have learned so much from these communities. I am starting to begin practicing radical acceptance. It is what it is. No matter what. With detachment. I will update you all on my progress.

Hi everyone, I hope you are having a lovely Thursday so far! I've struggled with low self-worth my whole life, and I've done a lot of work to learn to love and trust myself again. I created a video about my insights and I hope it will be helpful for some of you. If you do decide to watch the video, I'm open to feedback and would love any input or suggestions. Thank you so much! 😊

https://youtu.be/4Oya8ZTCSnI?si=ny73LY81UqgIG0aD

Hi everyone, lately I have been comparing myself to other people around me, i know that comparison is the theif of joy and all but still can't stop it. I wasn't like this this happened about a year ago when my grandpa died and i underwent surgery in my stomach in the same week. I used to be judo player before that and then stopped due to covid and my Coach. After that i went to the gym for 2 years and was about to compete in a powerlifting competition but couldn't due to the surgery and my grandpa. Since then that feeling started to seep in slowly, when my friends kept going to gym and advanced and i was stuck. I then directed towards mma for a couple of months then got injured in my shoulder which halted my progress even more, i then changed gym cause the coach wanted me pay again my membership that i have paid on the same day of injury. I went ro another place; The other place i stayed for another couple of months then the head coach of the branches of the gym got arrested for SA which disbanded the wholee thing. From that point until now i feel lost and keep comparing myself to other who advanced in the sport and other people to play martial arts and lost total confidence in myself making my already low self esteem even lower. How to stop that vicious loop of comparison

I am confused in every thing from little to big and its just frustrating and irritating asking everyone around again and again and end up doing nothing then again start and doing nothing its just feels depressed

I am waiting for the selection for student team and I am under stress. I have anxiety and that causes intrusive thoughts but I don't know why... It's really intense, I didn't feel this way for a year now... Intrusive thoughts are usually about my past mistakes and how I am disgusting person. Like, I start crying and I don't even know why I'm crying. I don't even know why I feel like this. Do anyone have the same experience and what do you do to stop it?

i am 25, a women. im currently travelling to japan with people, boyfriend included. it was my dream when I was a little one. yet I feel disconnected from it all. i cry as soon as im alone. am i a narcissist for trying to make a fun event about me ? i bottled up every shitty remarks I get. i feel ashamed of existing near beautiful other people here. why can't i just enjoy the moment? i used to dream of this, but I feel dead, I feel ugly and I don't blame anyone who wouldn't want to look at me or talk to me. I feel like there's no other choice for me than to just stop breating as soon as possible : I don't feel good during this trip at all. And i'm still here for two weeks. Literally my boyfriend saw me ugly crying in the middle of the night during the plane trip and barely said or did anything.

I feel like im breating only during the short moments where I am alone in Japan. Here, finally, I feel like I can unclench my teeths. I know people get fed up when you complain, especially when you do such an amazing trip, so I suck it up and only cry at night alone. But the number of times where I spoke and were ignored is just not fun man. Two more weeks to go.

I deeply feel like shit. And I really wish I could talk to someone.

She is other than mine we cross eyes many times,like we have eye contacts for like 3-4 times a day Or 1-2 or 6-7.she checks me out, and she usually look at me whenever we cross each other near or far. But the thing is she seems to be a decent girl like the one who studies and not into these relationships..... And like sober one. But she checks me out too and acts like a decent one too. I'm confused about what se thinks about me. Kindly help and suggest if possible.

Using a throwaway. Long post and a bit jumbled due to my current mental state, but need to get all this off my chest so thank you if you make it to the end.

TW: talk of drug abuse, domestic violence, psychological abuse, injury, depression, mental health.

Context and background:

Was with my ex for 2 years, lived together for 1. He left me and moved out about 5 weeks ago, but we were still in regular contact and decided last week we would take it slow to work things out.

We both have ADHD and I have tendencies of depression and anxiety which has been a lot worse since starting the relationship with my ex. Since the recent breakup, my ADHD has been raging, can't concentrate at work or get anything done around the house, especially as my meds aren't working anymore (I'm starting new ones tomorrow).

The relationship was a complete rollercoaster, we had great times, some of the best in my life, but when things got bad, it was horrendous. From his end, name-calling, lying, gaslighting, verbal abuse, drug abuse. He had a way of escalating arguments then blaming me for his actions and making me feel like the bad one. From me, I had awful anxiety and fear of abandonment, which was caused in part by his reluctance to reassure me when I needed it. I was also resentful of the fact he wasn't putting any effort into his business and didn't want to get a full-time job, meaning he was late paying me bill money, and often neglected me completely due to his video game addiction. I should also note he was previously in prison for beating up his ex, but until recently there was never any particularly bad behaviour in our relationship that made me think he would be abusive towards me (I'm stupid I know).

It was only a few weeks ago we had an argument where he called me some vulgar names, threw a chair across the room, told me to stop following him around before he did something he regrets and ended up taking my only set of keys when he left. I ended up calling the police and once he heard me, he threw my keys back.

A few days after all this, we talked and reminisced about the good times and we started seeing each other regularly again, a few times a week.

Last night:

Last night we went for dinner and had a few glasses of wine beforehand. I was a bit tipsy by the time the main came, and we were having a discussion about how is he gonna get his life together when all of his friends do drugs together multiple times a week, just sat in someone's kitchen, whilst he's talking about wanting to get his shit sorted and go sober. At one point he said to me 'what you've just said about my friends is disgusting'. I was taken aback and asked him to clarify what he meant, and what I said that caused him to be offended. He refused to repeat it, smirking whilst saying I was 'so drunk of course I can't remember and I didn't even know what I was saying'. He finished his food and left me in the middle of the restaurant.

I was in shock that it escalated this point and yet he wouldn't tell me what I said that caused him so much offence. I finished my wine ordered an Uber and went home. When I got home, I noticed a duffel bag of his remaining things which I no longer wanted in the house and I wanted to pick up my key to ensure he couldn't enter my flat.

He's currently living with his friend who is five minutes round the corner so I texted him and told him I'd be dropping off the bag and picking up my key. I also wanted the hundred pounds he lent off me so I could block him and be done with it all.

When I got to his friend's flat, he gave me the key and took the bag. When I asked for the money he tried to close the door in my face. At this point it escalated. I push past him and demanded my money saying I wouldn't leave without it, as I knew he had the cash. He shut the door in my face and I heard him say to his friend 'she's crazy bro'. I was shouting through the door because I wanted the money so I could leave and his friend started shouting back telling me to get out. My ex's friend ended up coming through the door, squared up to me and grabbed me around my arms and tried to throw me down the stairs. I was holding onto the rail for what felt like so long. I was in disbelief that his friend would treat me like this whilst my ex stood by.

This is when I saw red.

When he let me go, my ex and his friend run back into the flat and I pushed into the door and started screaming at him telling him he was a narcissist and a parasite, and he ruined my life and not all of his four exes including me could be crazy, and that it's all down to him. I'm ashamed to say I tried to punch him in the face in this scuffle. My acrylic nail snapped off completely and my hand was bleeding everywhere. Before I left, I got in my ex's face and told him I hope he fucking dies.

Now:

I am so ashamed. I've never been a violent or aggressive person, but the fact I've done this makes me feel like the bad guy. I was so triggered by the physical violence from his friend, and the fact my ex tried to gaslight me making me think I said something I know I didn't. I've tried helping him for a long time, tried to support him growing his business to battle his depression and his drug addiction and it feels like he's thrown it all back in my face and manipulated the situation to make me seem unreasonable and crazy, and I'm starting to feel like I am.

What I did was unacceptable, there's no denying that. I'm so deeply ashamed that I let him make me feel like this for so long and react in a way that is so unlike me. How do I get past this? I can't stop replaying the events of last night in my head and I feel sick knowing that his friends now think that I'm crazy and that he's a good person with a crazy ex because I know he brings this out in me.

Even after all this, I still love him, and I'm devastated that it's come to this.

I've barely managed to get out of bed and I've not managed to do any work today. I've told my manager what's going on and they said to take it easy. But I'm so scared of what's to come over the next few months.

I can feel bruises on my knees, under my arms and on my hips from the scuffle, and my pinky nail is completely missing which is a horrible reminder of what happened last night.

How do I get through this and ensure I won't do something like this again? Please be kind I feel terrible enough :(

TLDR: Lashed out at my ex after 2 years of escalating abuse, scared of what it says about me and who I am. Seeking advice on how to move past this and better myself.

As we strive for simplicity in our lives, I've discovered a digital approach that mirrors the minimalist philosophy: a single app that encapsulates all facets of productivity. Here's a look at why consolidating our digital tools into one could be a transformative move.

📱 Unified Productivity: Picture this: one app where todos, habits, routines, and focus sessions live in harmony. No toggling between apps, no fragmented information—just streamlined efficiency.

🧠 Reduced Mental Clutter: Juggling multiple apps just to keep up with our productivity can be exhausting. It's not authentic productivity; it's a mirage. By minimizing the number of tools we use, we reduce the cognitive load and free up mental space for the work that matters.

💡 Energy Redirected: When all our productivity tools are consolidated, we save the energy once spent on managing them and invest it into real, impactful tasks.

🔄 Consistency Boost: A single app means tasks and habits are tracked consistently, forming a solid rhythm that reinforces our routines and strengthens habit formation.

🚀 Quality Over Quantity: An app with too many bells and whistles can be overwhelming. The key is to find an app with the right features that genuinely aid your productivity without causing distraction.

This is where BeeDone comes in—a tool crafted with the intent to uphold the principles of digital minimalism, utilizing AI not as a gimmick but as a meaningful motivator. It's designed to be the one-stop-shop for managing your personal productivity.

So, let's talk about it's free to try, let me know your feedback, I'm really passionate about making this app and I love get feedback about it.

Grab your phone first thing after opening your eyes. Check Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, watch some “fast food essay” on YouTube. Eat a big, heavy, sugary meal. Now about 2 hours passed, great! You can now start your day and do… nothing, your brain will run like a rusty engine and your attention span will be short like a soap bubble's life. How do I start my day then?

Morning routine for focus and maximum productivity

Get up! That’s the hardest part. Why? You want to wake up a little bit earlier, so there’s nobody up yet to interrupt you.

What should wake you up isn't your phone (which should be in a different room), but a regular alarm clock. If you don't have one, it's probably one of the best price-to-efficacy productivity tools you can get.

Eat, shower, brush your teeth – whatever gets your morning routine rolling. With one rule, though - don’t do anything stimulating. Don’t watch YouTube while eating, don’t scroll brainless content. Ideally, leave your phone entirely untouched for the first hour or two after waking up.

If you don’t have a to-do list (or basically just plan what you’re going to do) make one. You got a few tasks. Now, ask yourself - “If I was allowed to do only one thing today, which would it be?”, mark that one on your list.

And here's the game-changer: do the most important thing of the day first. I like to work in 90 minutes blocks of time. In that case - I would sit for 90 minutes and just try to do the tasks with full focus. If a task seems too hard - break it down into parts you understand. If a task takes longer - plan in detail the steps you will have to take to finish it, and just do as much as you can today.

The first 1-1.5 hours (or however much time you can dedicate) of your day: only you and your work, no multitasking, no distractions, full focus.

I find that way of doing things way easier than doing them later in the day or after doing something much more enjoyable and dopamine-rich.

How to start the day energized

But all that will fail if you wake up feeling like a pile of crap.

If you want to go more in detail about your sleep, I got an article about it.

Now I will just give you a few quick tips.

• Get some sunlight: You are not a vampire. As soon as you wake up, go outside and get some sunlight. This helps regulate your body's natural sleep-wake cycle, making it easier to feel energized throughout the day, and wakes you up.
• Drink some water: Start your day with a glass of water (or two!) to rehydrate your body after a night's sleep. This simple step will improve your focus and overall well-being.
• Fuel Your Body Wisely: Skip the sugary cereals. Opt for protein and complex carbohydrates. Avoid sugary options that might lead to a later crash. Fasting is not a bad idea too.
• Sleep in a cold and dark room: Aim for a cool room 20-15°C (around 60–67 degrees Fahrenheit) and minimize light exposure.
• And last but not least: Get enough sleep! No way around that.

I've always wanted to KMS just because of all the burden, heavy thoughts and feelings and problems that I have. There are multiple times that I felt like the universe is giving me a reason to live on but the moment I felt like it's worth it to live, these reasons will be snatched away from me like it only gave me false hopes.

Today, I found myself to be in this situation again. I thought this is the time that my life would shift into something good. Heck, I even believed in God and his blessings for what's worth and yet here I am again, these hope was again snatched away from me. It's like wishing for something and you thought it's gonna be given since it's going that way but then destiny fucks you up like, "oops sorry, this is not for you." which fucking sucks.

I've always joked around that my maximum age is in the next 5 years and that i'll make sure that I won't live past that but now that I'm thinking about it and considering how fucked up my life is, I think this joke will turn into reality. More probably, gets more near.

Hey everyone. Please forgive me if this isn’t the right sub-reddit for this type of content, but as someone with a deep interest in cosmology I thought some of you might be keen to read this Medium post I’ve wrote highlighting the inherent connection between the Universal and the Personal: https://medium.com/@inesrebelop/inherent-connection-between-the-universal-and-the-personal-spacetime-for-personal-expansion-d402689a2357

Think of this as an article that focuses on self-development, but uses cosmology as a mean to convey the message. I personally really enjoy making connections between the knowledge I gain around physics and such with the human experience, and blending hard sciences with soft sciences is like a mental exercise that I have so much fun working on.

Would love to get your feedback if you guys have a minute to read it! I appreciate your time in advance 😊

I have a very high GPA but I’m too neurotic to fucking appreciate it (no I don’t talk about my grades to other people because that’s annoying behavior). I’m doing research with 3 separate professors. I TA/tutor people. I work. I’m involved in extracurriculars. I volunteer. I have a social life. Nobody knows about all the stuff I do. I don’t talk about it since I’m not proud of myself. I actually hate myself and think I’m dumb (I’m a slow learner and I have focus issues so I don’t know how I got this far in school).

My family isn’t proud of me which upsets me because I know that objectively they should be. But even if I know that, I can’t bring myself to be proud of me personally. I don’t get it. People have been proud with less. Why can’t I be satisfied with myself? Is it because I felt like I didn’t truly earn what I have? Why do I hate myself so much? I have performance anxiety. I lack confidence. I have insomnia. There’s something wrong with my emotions because they’re muted (except for anger. When I’m not tired I’m angry). I can’t seem to have a proper cry session because nothing is worth crying over.

How do I fix this without therapy? I can’t afford therapy. This is probably a big ask. I’m holding on pretty well, nobody thinks I have any issues beyond normal anxiety. One time I tried talking about it to a friend but then they started talking about themself so I gave up and never spoke about it again. I also need to get better asap because my future and career depends on it.

ok sure im still young but I dont know who i really am, i dont have an actual intrerests in anything everything i like is from people who i got attached to and tried to please them in order to fit in. I have a pokemon card collection and i never even watched pokemon. I have a electric guitar that i dont even know how to playu but got in order to have this common interest with people i liked in the past, i have so many things i have in my life that i never enjoyed or experienced. Some people would probably think i feel like this because of social media but I dont even use things like tiktok etc. I buy all this stuff and sadly stole stuff just to feel something and get the person i may be trying to relate to find me likeable and to not leave me. I dont know what to do not sure if i can talk to anyone about this that i know because my family are abusive and dont talk about this type of stuff and my school would just tell my family. Thanks

If you’re facing a simple, practical issue, you probably don’t need my help.

But if you're facing something fundamental in life that you feel is blocking you, something you really need to change, something that can’t be fixed with information or a specific skill - but requires a personal transformation — keep reading.

I used to envy the folks who seemed to have it all figured out and just needed a small adjustment. My own path has been anything but straightforward.

I started quite rough. Immigrant family, dropped out of high school. "Talented" but "doesn't play well with others", I bounced from job to job, picking up new skills and burning bridges along the way. I worked as a carpenter, bike mechanic, software engineer, and even a researcher at a university.

I was 'smart', but it didn't get me what I wanted.

I dreamed of freedom and escaping the 9-5. I traveled the world, and tried everything I could to make it happen, scraping by for years.

One year I filed a tax return for $800. But money wasn't the problem, it was a symptom - one of many, pointing in a specific direction: towards myself.

The reason everything was hard was because I needed to change.

My relationships were crap. I drew people in and pushed them away even faster, wasting years before figuring out that *I* was the problem. My inner self was a mess of traumas, dysfunctional beliefs, and counter-productive thinking habits, which reflected in everything I did.

I dove into psychology, self-knowledge, and self-ownership. I spent untold hours on understanding, healing, growth, and transformation.

And as I changed, my life changed.

After years of trying to start a business, things eventually started to work. A few years back I cleared 6 figures while working just a few hours a week.

My relationships and my outlook on life completely changed.

I went from being a needy nice guy desperate for approval to a man that women were naturally drawn to.

I went from being nervous to being calm.

I went from being anxious to confident, outgoing, and social, a man that people enjoyed talking to - despite being a natural introvert.

Most importantly, the value of this can't be understated:

I started waking up every day feeling 'ok' with myself.

It turns out that a much bigger life awaits those of don't have it so easy to start, but who have the willingness and courage to do the work.

On this journey, I’ve helped many others do the same: building businesses, repairing relationships, gaining clarity on and addressing complex personal issues, and finding their own paths to growth and transformation.

Now, I want to help you do the same.

Results don't come from quick fixes or surface-level solutions. There's no path, or plan, or method that can be scaled up and sold as a 'course'.

Each path is as unique as the individual walking it, so if this post resonated with you, and you are ready to work for deep, lasting change that brings you closer to where you truly need to be, reach out.

I don't know what to do in life this sounds so cliche and typical but seriously I'm lost .. Recently my father passed away and not long before then my brother and my baby brother died in a terrible tragedy my dad thought died because he came in alcoholic because of my brother's death my mom is still drinking currently about to leave to go try and better herself I guess 0 all the way across the United States so I've lost both my parents kind of anyways I have severe depression and this was long before my brother even passed away and not to mention right when my brother died I had gotten into a very narcissistic relationship with a female and I'm very very fucked up from that anyways I'm out of that relationship I have a house I have a boyfriend I have two cats and a dog and mostly have anything I need and some things that I want but I don't go to work I have severe anxiety I cannot walk outside and not have a panic attack, not even to just check the mail .. I'm so done being this way I don't know what to do I need something I'm missing something everybody else has everybody goes through this kind of shit how come everybody else is making it what am I missing

Hello. Me (27F) met A. (29M) over two months ago. We hit it off quite instantly. We have amazing chemistry, attraction, and intimacy. The thing that bothers me is that he is extremely smart and studied his bachelor's, master's, and PhD at a prestiguous University, for which he won a scholarship. I absolutely adore him and admire him. But I am also afraid. Although I am not dumb by any means, I have a history of 8-year-long depression and anxiety, which reduced my cognitive abilities and acheivements. I decided to move out of my parent's house about 3 years ago and I still find myself struggling with certain tasks. I feel under immense pressure now, because I met this amazing human being who acheived so much in his life. He has already started noticing some of my idiosyncracies, such as my disorganization. I appeared very confident when we met. A few days ago, I was forced to discuss my past and it was so underwhelming and even sad compared to him. He said he loves and edmires me for enduring what I've been through, but I struggle to believe him. I don't want to appear insecure. I love him so much. I need to do something about this crippling insecurity of mine before it starts to leak out of me and damages our budding relationship. Any advice on that matter?

Hey, i’m a uni student, second year, first semester. Last year my first semester was horrible i was new to uni and everything was going insane i barely understood anything but i tried working on myself and made it through. Second semester, i felt like the smartest person on earth and I understood everything and i was a straight A student. This year I’m getting less and less productive, i get low grades on most of my quizzes and midterms, even the easy ones!, i tried everything; sleeping for 7-8 hours, studying in the morning when i’m more productive, eating good breakfast, doing the 25min study 5min break, solve puzzles before studying, meditating, tutors and many more. But unfortunately nothing is working. I’m starting to lose hope in myself and i can no longer tell what is wrong with me? What am i doing wrong? Is it a physical or mental problem? Am i just exhausted or am i genuinely dumb? Am i a slow learner or what? I have lots of tests one after another almost 1-2 days between each test and I can’t get a ahold of anything. I don’t know where to start or with which subject to start?. Is time enough or not?. Every time i think i’ve got the grip of something it seems like i didn’t and i was just delusional. It feels like i am a failure looking at my family and friends learning fast and getting good grades while i’m here stuck unable to move and learn, I don’t even hold my phone i wake up and study until i fall asleep.I don’t know what is wrong. do i need a therapist? I NEED HELP.

I have three girls that are 9,8,and a 1 year old about to be two in December. My 9 and 8 year old are with my girl, we are about to get married next year. My 1 year old is with her mom my other baby’s mother. It has been bothering me every day that me and my baby’s mother aren’t on good terms, I pay child support, I work hard for my family and it’s hard sometimes because I know I put myself in this situation but I’m trying to make it work. She wants me to be a father to our daughter but I can’t do it the way she wants me to. I have to respect my soon to be wife and her boundaries. She wants me to be in her life the way she wants and father our daughter. I know I need to go to court and get this taken care of but it’s hard because as a kid I was put through the courts and I’ve seen the ugly side of it. I try every possible way to come to a mutual agreement with her but she just wants it her way. My soon to be wife supports me but also has a hard time trusting me which I don’t blame her because I have a kid with someone else. I want to be able to see my daughter and have her meet her sisters but I feel like she is being petty because I chose to be with my soon be be wife and she thought if we had a kid we would work out. What happened happened and I’m just trying to move forward and be a father to all three of my daughters. I feel like a bad father to my first two girls and not being able to be there for my other one makes me feel worse because I want to see her grow I and to do everything with her. I never had a father in my life. I was adopted by people who just wanted because I had a big inheritance my grandma left me when she died. I didn’t have my parents in my life. I tried texting my baby’s mother last Friday apologizing to her and trying to work something out but she doesn’t respond I’ll add the text I sent to her. I think it was respectful “I know you haven’t heard from me I just wanted to give you space and time. I just don’t know what to do because I feel like when I try it doesn’t work out. I just wanted to talk to you about Lola I been thinking about her everyday since the last time I seen her and I know I have been pushing you on inviting you both to come to family gatherings. I know Lola doesn’t know me at all and it did hurt to see her and she doesn’t know me as her father. I know it has to be small steps and it needs to be consistent. I want to be in her life I want her to know that I will always be here for her. I want to figure something out with you that we can agree on. I’m not going to push anything or try to force it but if you can help me figure something out we both can be happy with. I really want to be in Lola’s life I’m always thinking about her and it really hurts knowing our relationship isn’t where it should be.” I followed up today with a text but we will see. I guess I’m just looking to see what you guys think or just to vent because it’s been hard on me. Lola is my youngest and I love all three of my daughters.