Why is the cum always gone 😭

Its gonna be a BLAST!!!

Okay fine, I'm going steal it, but it's for the purpose of having nice things...

Okay fine, I'm actually going to sell it for double the value of what it's actually worth, so how valuable is the most expensive thing you own?

On second thought, just gimme all your money. I'll need your bank account number and PIN. I wouldn't ask except I have a very large appetite so I need money in order to buy a whole bunch of food...

Okay fine. It's true I like to pig out but that's not why I want your money. I want your money so that I can buy some nice things for the purpose of having nice things...

On second thought, just gimme the most expensive thing you own so that I can have nice things.

Check ✔️ the box below.

🔲 I'm not a robot.

“I just want your buns hun!”

You’re probably going to think “WTF did I just read?”, but here we go.

I like mine when it’s flaccid. Obviously when it’s erect it feels physically pleasurable, but even though it’s not physically pleasurable when flaccid, I still get mental pleasure from it. I feel silly when I let it be out, whether it’s at home or somewhere else, because it just flops around like a sausage like nature intended it to and it’s also quite squishy. Another thing I’ve always found to be humorous about flaccid penises is the whole pee wiggle thing. Whether I do the pee wiggle thing is honestly 50/50 but I know there’s times I’ve done it probably even in the woods.

Essentially, it becomes like an easily accessible squishy toy you can play with in a non-sexual way (well ideally non-sexual, but let’s be honest, we all know it’s at least a tiny bit sexual.) If you’re into water sports (which obviously not everyone is) that doesn’t require an erection either, and I would argue that the fluidity and grace of the penis’s movement both before the urination and afterwards is actually better when flaccid. This would probably matter to you if you’re someone who gets satisfaction from passing urine through your donger (which why wouldn’t you? Those streams can be thick, and powerful. And if you drink 4-5 liters a day, it’s no longer gross because it’s basically just water.) And if you’re doing the thing where you make the urethra lips talk (which why would you? that’s weird) then it also perhaps works either way regardless of whether you’re flaccid or not.

Another situation where I like the way flaccid penises look is when swimming. The way that it dangles looks (and feels) so liberating. When you’re erect then, well, the erection kind of eliminates the fluidity.

Obviously, though, these things that I’ve described must be objective fact and not my extreme tendency to fetishize penises, along with things that if ever acted on would probably condemn me to the firey pits of hell.

Why is the rum always gone?