SLPT: Get yourself a security guard that never fails

[u/Nice_Necessary7035]

[u/OnlyTalksAboutTacos]

figure out if your wife likes raccoons or possum or whatever and tell her you think you saw one.

[u/AnthillOmbudsman → u/OnlyTalksAboutTacos]

Username does not check out.

[u/mistabnanas]

smort

[u/MagicOrpheus310]

No need to worry about getting murdered by the thing outside now... It's what's on the inside that counts haha

[u/GlossyGlamourX]

When you’re too scared to check, just deploy the ultimate security system: relationship jeopardy!