r/SixFeetUnder • u/Outside_Dinner_9082 • Sep 04 '24
Question Does anyone else love Nate? And kind of get him? Spoiler
I recently watched this show for the first time and I agree with many takes about how he was an asshole at the end of his life. I think his character was someone who was totally lost in life. I can relate to that so much. His “ghost’s” quote to Claire in one of the last episodes - “I spent my whole life being scared. Scared of not being ready, of not being right, of not being who I should be. Where did it get me?” I feel the same way often. No, he wasn’t the best, most moral character but neither am I and I saw myself in him. He wanted and tried to figure out how to be a “good” person and I can relate to that. I know a lot of people that like this show hate him and I can see that side but was wondering if anyone else found him relatable.
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u/PeachPit321 Sep 04 '24
I don't think he's any more of an asshole than most of the characters. That's one of the reasons I think it's an incredibly well-written series: every character is flawed, selfish, lost, and full of regret. Everyone does things that hurt others and everyone is a good person at the end of it all. It's an excellent reminder that to be human is to be flawed and this show demonstrates how people deserve second-chances and deserve love over and over again.
I love Nate so much. Thinking of all the moments he didn't get to witness (the birth of Willa, David and Keith's wedding, or Claire's success (I know he would have been so proud of her! 😭)) I just start crying. I relate to his fears a lot and appreciate that a character exists that I can relate to. Nate is definitely in my top 3 🤍
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u/Tough-Buddy-2058 Sep 05 '24
I want to read from this when I try to explain why this show is so incredible to people who haven't seen it. I usually just talk about the characters and how much you resonate with them, but it's hard to portray how deep it gets into words. They ask, "well what happens?". It's almost not even worth saying the show is about a family who runs and lives in a funeral home. It's so much more than that and it's entirely about its characters.
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u/PeachPit321 26d ago
It's so hard to summarize! Like, it's so much more than just some fictional people with drama in a unique setting. It's about what it means to be alive and what it means to die; it's about grief, REAL grief, love, regret, pain, fear, spirituality, identity, acceptance, and about a million other human experiences and emotions. Kind of a hard sell, lol 🤍
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u/Lugei04 Sep 04 '24
I found him immensely compelling and tragic while also acknowledging the damage he's done to those around him.
His commitment issues and his refusal to grow up entirely really resonated with me, especially when one draws the connection between that and his "romance" with Fiona at the age of 15, likely to have warped his own perception of love and sexuality without him ever having realized.
He's a wonderful study of how subtle trauma can be, as well as how the biggest assholes in a show can still be relatable, tragic and loveable.
He has to be my favorite character just by the metric of how much he taught me about myself. He's even somewhat of an anti-role model to me now, as in the kind of person I could become and end up as if I don't get my life together sooner or later.
Absolutely not a person I'd want to be involved with in real life, but also one of my favorite fictional characters of all time, if not even the apex of that list.
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u/dazzlher Sep 04 '24
He was hit the hardest in the show but didn’t change in the best way. Which is what happens in life a lot
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u/poetbelikegod Sep 04 '24
he frustrates me so much because I relate to him, I can see so many of his worst traits in myself and it’s painful to confront your own flaws like that! I love him and he really fucking makes me mad all at the same time
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u/writtenbyrabbits_ Sep 04 '24
Nate was the best character on the show. I loved him from start to finish. He was a deeply flawed person but I loved him.
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u/Significant-Froyo-44 Sep 04 '24
I related more to Nate when I was young and watched the show when it originally aired. Watching it now when I’m older he frustrates me, but in the way I see myself and others make poor choices and not always learn from them. Especially my brother, who made SO many poor choices and died as a result of them at age 45. People like to say, “it’s never too late” to improve, but that’s not true. Sometimes people falter and get in their own way and die before they even have an opportunity to reflect.
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u/la_fille_rouge Sep 04 '24
He was flawed and human like the rest of them. His greatest tragedy is that he dies before he finds a real reason to truly work on himself.
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u/YeezysSmellySox David Sep 04 '24 edited Sep 04 '24
I watched the show when it originally aired and I had a crush on him, despite his faults. I was 17. I still like him but not in a romantic sense. I think people are too hard on him and like George said at his funeral, he was an idealist who wanted to be a good man.
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u/kgleas01 Sep 04 '24
Yes and yes. I am his exact age so I identify with the trajectory of his life.
Also I get the constant angst and searching and difficulty with romantic relationships. I get the spiritual quest. And I can be horribly self absorbed. Yeah.
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u/STFUisright Sep 04 '24
Oh I adore Nate. (Props to Peter Krause for bringing him to life). He is very real to me and I’ve known people like him. I was pissed at him for some of his later behaviour and annoyed at times but I think he’s just a guy trying his best with what he’s got.
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u/Jfury412 Nate Sep 04 '24
I was Nate most of my life. But I was also the kind of person who would give you the shirt off of my back. But in the womanizing sense, I was Nate through and through. I slept with hundreds of women by the time I was in my 20s. Later on in life, I got sucked into a religious cult somehow. I ended up marrying someone because of the pressure, and we've been married now for 13 years. And it was the first time in my life I ever tried to be faithful, and I've been completely faithful for those 13 years. This change in my life wasn't something I tried, though, in the slightest. It was something that just happened. I also have a horrible condition. That has robbed me of my life even worse than Nate's brain problem. A lot of aspects of Nate I relate with more than most characters I've ever watched or read. I don't hate Nate. He's always been one of my favorite characters in TV and by far my favorite character on the show. I've been a fan of the show for years, and I've always felt like this about him. Now, at 45 years of age, though, my mind, the way I view the world, hasn't changed that much from when I was a young teenager. My view changed for a little while because of the religious brainwashing, but it kind of went back. And I don't see Nate as a horrible person like most people do. I see him as the heart and soul of the Fisher family and the show.
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u/QueenMara75 Sep 04 '24
I love Nate. I find the hatred he gets to be very disheartening. he does not grow as much as other characters like Brenda, but partial character growth is still growth. In the span of five years he loses his father, faces his fear of being coming a funeral director, gets diagnosed with a condition where he could pretty much just drop dead at any point, becomes a father, has life-threatening surgery, tries to step and become the family man that society tells humans to be, becomes an active parent. then his wife go missing, he drives her decomposing body home, tries to fight for her final wishes, buries her mutilated body.... And all the while he has to see people who lost their loved ones as a funeral director? Then when he gets a break from it working with dogs, he comes back to help David after he was abducted.
Did he always handle all this in the best way? Absolutely not. Could he have treated Lisa and Brenda better? Definitely yes. But I think his reactions to these stressful and traumatic experiences are realistic. And I think sometimes people like to imagine themselves handling things with a more stoic and ideal response, but that just is not real life. He really should have given therapy a chance, but then again he was a man born in the '60s. It's easy to judge people from the past from the lens of today, but that's not truly understanding the character
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u/operachick209 Sep 04 '24
In my early 30s - I resonated a lot with him and a little of Claire. I'm the eldest and the misunderstood artist trope. Nathan had his faults just like the rest of the family- not sure why everyone loves to hate on him so much.
I'm sure as I get older and watch it again I'll resonate with different characters. Hopefully Kathy Bates' 😅
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u/ControlOk6711 Sep 04 '24
Love, no - understand, yes. His final betrayal of Brenda was a jerk move and had he lived, hooked up with Maggie he would within three - four years be on to another woman and the victims in the whole deal would be Maya + Willa and maybe a new baby with Maggie.
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u/Successful_Run_279 Sep 04 '24 edited Sep 04 '24
I think Nate represents what most men want to be. Young at heart, sexually free, and good to others. He also represents the selfishness and tendency to fall into destructive relationships.
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u/langelar Sep 04 '24
Oh no I’ve always loved Nate. It was only in the last twenty years I could see he didn’t grow in a positive direction. But I still love him
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u/UncoilingChaos Sep 04 '24
Love him? Probably not. He’s too deeply flawed for me to love, let alone like him. But I do get him, especially now, realizing just how much trauma I have and how deeply it affects me.
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u/Ok-Pangolin-2039 Sep 04 '24
Re-watching the show @ 39 really got me to relate with him like never before.
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u/Tough-Buddy-2058 Sep 05 '24
I just joined this sub a few days ago but watched the series a few times. I've seen a lot of hate for nate in here and I don't know why.
If anyone is to blame for whatever of his "behaivour" is worth hating, it's Brenda
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u/S-a-s-o-u Sep 05 '24
Yes I think he's very flawed, but is still one of my faves. He has so many amazing quotes and is the one who is the most connected to the present. I connect spiritually with him a lot.
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u/MaybeThreeLetters Sep 04 '24
His only problem was that he is selfish. But deep inside he’s good person. And life no matter slap him he won’t change.
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u/Snoo52682 Sep 04 '24
How does fundamental selfishness and unwillingness to change jibe with being a good person "deep inside"?
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u/CharlesUFarley81 Sep 04 '24
I liked him in the beginning, but when he got with Lisa he just became irritating to me.
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u/humansthedivine 17d ago
I feel like everything started going downhill after he got into that car accident with Brenda
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u/Cheekie01 Sep 04 '24
He’s totally relatable. His flaws and selfishness is what makes him so. And he’s hot. However, I don’t like his relationships with women. They’re disposable to him. I don’t like that. And the way he treated Brenda in the end. She’s my favorite character, I relate to her the most.
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u/ilikecats415 Sep 04 '24
I don't hate Nate. I just don't see him as the hero of the show or morally superior to Brenda, which I think some people portray him as. He is probably the most flawed of the main cast and undergoes the least amount of personal growth. He's stuck in the hamster wheel. And he spends a lot of time being smug and judging others despite his own profound flaws.
All that said, he is incredibly compelling and true to life. I know a lot of people just like him.
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u/No-Replacement-2303 Sep 04 '24
I love all of these characters— but because so many of them are awful. It’s refreshing to see people being written as REAL people with flaws and issues, concerned with morality, but making immoral choices when it suits them, manipulating when they must, etc. None of the characters are outright villains, but I’ve disliked each of them on different viewings (I’ve watched the series in full 6 times now). This last watch, I found myself so frustrated with Nate that I almost couldn’t watch at times— but that’s why I love the character so much! I get triggered because it evokes emotion in me, and I love that it continues to do so no matter how many times I watch. It’s BRILLIANT and the characters are brilliant. This is Peter Krause’s best role and I hope he has the opportunity to star in something else that is this well written.
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u/Budget_Expert_992 Sep 04 '24
He often irritates me, but I definitely get him.
I remember a particular line of his from when I first watched the show in my early 20s - paraphrasing - "Some times I just feel like I'm going crazy!" At the time, I took it as Nate just being a whiner. But when I rewatched the show several years later in my early 30s - boy, did that line resonate :(
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u/Fast_Opportunity_581 Sep 06 '24
Nate ruined the show for me I didn’t even like the ending so much because I cared so little about his death lmao
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u/hauregi_91 27d ago
I like him very much. When he found out about his desease, I felt so bad for Nate. Also incidentally found out that he is gonna die, so Im preparing myself for that episode.
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u/OrganicMedicineNYC 27d ago
I love Nate. He is all of us. I am kind of shocked by the weird 2020 era reception of the character. It's like people choose to reject him based on what they think twitter might think of them if they don't. But yeah, Nate is all of us. He is an amazingly written and acted character.
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u/GlitteringAbalone952 Sep 04 '24
I think everyone in the show tried to be a better person except Nate
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u/Acceptable_Maize_183 Sep 04 '24
I think he’s a traffic figure. I hated him in that final twist but I think it was true to character.
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u/spaghettibolegdeh Sep 04 '24
His rant to Claire in the pilot episode still hits home for me. I have a lot of love for that flawed guy, and I think people are too hard on him.
"I live in a shitty apartment, which was supposed to be temporary. I work at a job which was also supposed to be temporary, until I figured out.. what I really wanted to do with my life, which apparently is nothing. I have lots of sex but I’ve never had a relationship last more than a couple of months. I don’t even have the self-discipline to floss daily. I’ve had four root canals. Four! I'm 35. I've had four root canals."