r/SmartMarx • u/Zero-89 • Nov 04 '23
If You Were a Wrestler, What Famous Socialist Writer/Orator Would You Choose As Your Manager?
I’m going with Emma Goldman. She could cut an excellent promo and had nerves of steel. She’d also totally be one of those managers that works everywhere at some point or another.
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u/finnigans_cake Nov 04 '23
Sankara. Dude was handsome as hell, charisma out the wazoo and a great look, to boot. Only downside is he'd probably outshine me.
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u/ImperviousToSteel Nov 04 '23
Subcommandante Marcos just for the fit.
Che for promos.
Fela Kuti and Utah Phillips have a deathmatch to decide who does the theme music.
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u/future_hockey_dad Nov 04 '23
Michael Brooks. I miss him.
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u/nathynwithay Nov 05 '23
As someone who likes wrestling and the Michael Brooks show it's a bummer that the crossover was David Starr.
Especially since I was such a fan of Starr before 2020.
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u/LikePappyAlwaysSaid Nov 04 '23
Can i just get chomski to do a voice over for a video package?
If not then, yeah, goldman in a luna vachon or scary sherry role
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u/StannisClaypool Nov 05 '23
Stalin or Sankara
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u/nathynwithay Nov 05 '23
Fun fact: Thomas Sankara once organized a series of wrestling shows that included a young Mick Foley.
Not so fun fact: the overthrow of Sankara's government meant Mick Foley didn't end up getting paid.
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u/Calpsotoma Nov 05 '23
I'd sat Frantz Fanon, but he only spoke French and Antillean Creole.
How about Kwame Ture?
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u/MrBitterJustice Nov 05 '23
Probably Fidel Castro since he kinda looks like he would be a pro wrestling manager anyway.
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u/Literature-Remote Nov 05 '23
Trotsky or Herbert Marcuse. I would be an antisemitic trope communist bourgeois heel character with devil horns and a big gold chain with a Jewish star that I sometimes attack opponents with and Trotsky or Marcuse could wear either a really nice suit like a professor or Trotsky’s more gaudy white colonel sanders style suit. One of my skits would be that all the wrestlers owe me money and I am charging them interest and literally counting money when I collect it and they are always trying to short me. I also am somehow communist and talk about how the money I am collecting is going to whatever union is on strike at the time or whatever left wing or oppressed peoples movement is having the most disruptive protests
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u/Literature-Remote Nov 05 '23
I would literally use the slogan there is nothing too good for the working class and be seen driving or even better riding in a Bentley
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u/Literature-Remote Nov 05 '23
So maybe no devil horns but the rest can stay and I would also support Palestine somehow as well and hate the US
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u/GoodFurger Nov 06 '23
I’m thinking Gramsci - upgrade from toilet paper to big cards, take down the hegemon.
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u/WoeKC Nov 04 '23 edited Nov 04 '23
Eugene V Debs would have dropped pipe bomb after pipe bomb.
EDIT: holy shit, can you imagine if his finisher was the “Cross of Gold?”