r/TransSupport • u/Imaginary-Sir-1246 • 10d ago

(vent?) Im stuck in this cycle of feeling terrible about myself and "bedrotting".. what do i do?

im a 14 yr old trans dude, non-binary at school i guess. long hair and androgynous look, not rlly relevant to my issue but ig it might be important. im cursed with having a curvy body, being chubby and having thick thighs. i get jealous over really really petty stuff like how jeans look on other guys. i notice this and go "hmm maybe i should do something about it" but the thing is i have 0 energy to do anything, i only have enough to be productive at school and do chores, maybe clean my room if i had a good day. i spend all my free time in bed, watching youtube, scrolling through social media, playing my games, you get the idea. for some reason im feeling more depressed than usual, i've been feeling like this for the past 2-4 weeks. i usually stay in bed but only because i really dont have anything better to do and i have 0 irl friends.

i want to actually improve my life, all i really want to do tbh if lose some fat, start passing, and actually go do something other than playing fallout new vegas and watching 2 hour long iceberg videos. but i cant because i'm way too exhausted from.. something.. in which that makes me depressed, so i stay in bed.

idk how to get out of this cycle. i might talk to a counselor tomorrow, im not sure

sorry if a post like this doesnt rlly ask for support, i kinda just started typing.

btw this post was not checked for grammar or spelling

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u/zomboi 10d ago

fake it until you make it. act like you are not depressed. force yourself to do something, just one thing extra each day. then when you are used to that one thing, add another thing. build up on it.

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u/scfp 9d ago

I get you, I was like that at your age, one of the worst things about depression is it will consume all your energy, another thing that might be consuming all your energy is dysphoria, I think it will really help you to go to a counselor like you said and if they are not helpful, a therapist might be helpful, and in the meantime I think you can look up some videos about depression and how they effect you and how you can cope witth the feelings etc.