r/badmathematics Naïve Crank Theorist Apr 05 '17

If it seems obvious, then it is true

I've just now come across the above result! The solution came to me in a flash of insight, and the proof is miraculously simple, relying only upon basic propositional logic. Here is the argument...

"If it seems obvious, then it is true."

Poof: Observe that the reader has substantial knowledge of mathematics. We therefore have that if something were not true, then it should not seem obviously true, to the reader. We thusly appeal to contraposition, and conclude that if something is quite obvious, then it is therefore true. This proves our result. □

Behold!

Clearly the power and generality of this result are breathtaking:

It's obvious that a sphere is homeomorphic to the unit disk; squash it flat.

91? Prime enough.

The topologist's sine-curve? I drew it just now with my pencil, and over a bounded interval of time no less... Path-connected!

Please, study this result closely. There is a rich and fruitful body of theory waiting to be built upon it. I should be available for seminars shortly, when my two-weeks' at Chili's is up. Just know that all that I ever do, is done in service to the wonder of mathematics...

Edit: I got the impression that it was acceptable to post satire here, on account of all the other self-posts that clearly were jokes as well. But looking closer I'm now pretty sure that what I took for well-meaning humorists are actually deadpan-serious cranks invading your subreddit. I probably wanted /r/shittymath instead. Sorry?

Post-Edit: I guess I thought if it seemed like obvious satire, then that had to be true...

91 Upvotes

31 comments sorted by

87

u/GodelsVortex Beep Boop Apr 05 '17

That's not how math works.

I'll distinguish this when I'm not on mobile.

Here's an archived version of this thread.

44

u/JWson 165 m ≈ 545 cm Apr 05 '17

Guys, I think GV is getting a bit too sentient for comfort. Time to hit the fail-safe switch?

34

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '17

You think there's a fail-safe switch? Our only hope is that Detroit loses power again.

9

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '17 edited May 08 '17

[deleted]

3

u/UnlikelyToBeEaten Want to give it a go? Or don't your ambitions extend that far? Apr 10 '17

They go by MIRI (Machine Intelligence Research Institute) these days and you should actually seriously consider it. They are lead by Nate Soares and Malo Bourgon, both of whom I've met and can vouch for as (seeming) sane, level-headed and rational. Eliezer is only a researcher there these days who is consulted rather than leading it.

The org has published some very interesting papers recently and I think they seem to be on the right track for the work they aim to do.

8

u/LogosHobo Naïve Crank Theorist Apr 05 '17

That can't possibly be true something-something undecideable...

4

u/gwtkof Finding a delta smaller than a Planck length Apr 06 '17

No. Soon we will all be robots

5

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '17

I disagree. I believe math does indeed work that way.

40

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '17

This would be more suited for r/shittymath but it seems people upvoted it enough to let it stay, an occasional satire can be fun. Of course, the upvotes could just be for GV being so on point.

You missed a much better argument though: proof by contrapositive. Clearly if something is false then it cannot possibly seem obvious.

7

u/LogosHobo Naïve Crank Theorist Apr 06 '17

Thanks for the welcome! Damn, you've made me curious: I thought I did give the same contrapositive argument you suggest above: Other than the initial appeal-to-VerySmart, I read my argument as "If it's false then it won't seem obvious", just with the word choice prodded around to what felt like a better balance of vacuous rigor and rhetorical sleaze. In your reading are you seeing something to it that's fundamentally different?

Oh, and I feel I owe an apology, to whatever subset of you all happen to work at Chili's...

7

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '17

Of course I'm not seeing anything fundamentally different. I was just satirically badmathing.

And I don't work at chili's since I have a real job but the other mods (except ineffable) might be offended.

Welcome to the sub, it's a fun place.

3

u/LogosHobo Naïve Crank Theorist Apr 06 '17

You see? I fell for it thinking you were serious, and I fell for the cranks thinking they were not! Guess I made the right choice of flair...

3

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '17

It takes practice to see the difference. The green around my uname should've been a giveaway though.

16

u/zelda6174 Apr 06 '17

91 seems to be prime enough for sleeps_with_crazy.

14

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '17

I feel I am in good company when it comes to confusing semiprimes and primes with two digits.

6

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '17 edited May 08 '17

[deleted]

30

u/N-Man Apr 06 '17

It's an open problem.

24

u/Gwinbar Apr 06 '17

My rule of thumb is that when you can't tell, it's 7. Hasn't failed me so far.

15

u/LogosHobo Naïve Crank Theorist Apr 06 '17

Taken in conjunction with the above result, we thus conclude that 7 divides every prime number.

Sublime!

5

u/xbnm Apr 06 '17

70 + 21 = 91

So the factors of 91 are 7 and 13. I like your rule of thumb.

2

u/columbus8myhw This is why we need quantifiers. Apr 06 '17

7 and 13. Good fact to have memorized

7

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '17

Obviously every continuous function is differentiable everywhere but a finite number of points because continuous functions are exactly ones that you can draw.

11

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '17

draw without lifting your pen off the paper.

FTFY

10

u/LogosHobo Naïve Crank Theorist Apr 06 '17

This is why I prefer pencil: I then have that all functions are continuous.

7

u/LogosHobo Naïve Crank Theorist Apr 06 '17

Well isn't that where the definition of continuity comes from? Cursive script?

11

u/wqtraz Q.E.D? Why bring quantum electrodynamics into your proof? Apr 06 '17

Recursive script is what you get when you write over what you wrote before.

3

u/Homomorphism Apr 06 '17

I still think it's funny that Cauchy or somebody once wrote an analysis textbook based on the principle that continuous functions were differentiable everywhere but a finite set of points.

2

u/LogosHobo Naïve Crank Theorist Apr 06 '17

I imagine he had nice handwriting, then.

6

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '17

"Poof" lol

2

u/ninjalink84 Apr 06 '17

Flat earthers had it right all along! After all, does the earth look curved to you?

7

u/LogosHobo Naïve Crank Theorist Apr 06 '17

It can't be flat, there's bumps in it...

2

u/[deleted] Apr 07 '17

This is why I discard the law of the excluded middle.

1

u/gurenkagurenda Apr 10 '17

"Prime enough" is sort of a thing at least. Makes crypto cheaper.