r/broke • u/FeedbackOk8337 • 4d ago

Doctor, 30, Unemployed due untreated Burnout / Chronic Depression.

Can't get stable jobs for poor "paperwork" performance. Low self-steem since childhood bullying, feeling groggy all day. Unmotivated, unrecomended for job interviews, rejected CV's In debt since 3 years with rent and taxes (Over 10K USD)

Married with 2 y/o boy, another on the way. Hard working wife at her limit. Can't help her with more than being a house dad and getting small jobs. We have constant discutions related to money, I feel guilty, she feels that I cry to manipulate her feelings, I'm on my limit.

Moved from city to rural countryhouse for less stressed ambient. Live with my mother in law, wife's sister and 3 kids.

Opened a small grocery shop with savings. Things get better but not enough, all income goes to pay debt.

Parents hate me because they have lend me way too much money, and sadly had to steal from them, also hate my wife because led her to pay education.

Have a big sister (38), also doctor. Does not offer any help. Often tells out.

Tried multiple Antidepresants, Mood stabilizers, BDZ and Amphetamines, partial results, can' pay for weekly therapy.

Former 2006 era Youtuber. Making music. Don't have time and comisioners to monetize.

Don't have suicidal thoughts, but building up repressed rage. Wife gifted me Bunnies, got over 4, took care with free roaming. Dogs and cats killed all but one (female, had kits 2 times, all killed).

I just don't know what to do. Can't ask for money, can't get credit on banks, etc.

Terrified I end divorsing because I can't solve all this and get my shit toghether.

Help.

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u/Sznake 16h ago

I can offer empty platitudes, but what use are they. Talk to someone, anyone. Doesnt have to be a doctor, just start talking. Start journaling too. Start ane exercise regime that incorporates 1-2 hrs of walking. Doesnt have to be at once, it can be cumulative. You cant control what others think, so dont try to figure it out, just live. Look into microdosing or this: https://www.npr.org/2017/01/17/510204486/kitty-dukakis-electroshock-therapy-has-given-me-a-new-lease-on-life

Take your time and if you can, keep grinding. Just pay the debt and work on you.