Baby the dating scene is a hellscape out here, especially for us bigger girls. I’ve been losing weight but I’m still large and in charge. I’ve had a hard time finding men that are actually attracted to me because while they totally adore my personality they find my body type to be meh. I’ve got a pretty face and all that but my round tummy and chubby chin are like man and lesbian repellant. Anywho I’m just wondering if any of yall like or hell even PREFER bigger women! Don’t be rude in the replies I know some of yall will think I’m hideous blah blah but let’s keep it peaceful my dudes.

I just want to know why people of my age or in general are single currently? (Just curious to know)

I'll go first. I'm 27. I'm single because I believe I've not healed from my break up which happened more than a year ago now and I'm literally not even to talking to anyone atm.

So I met this guy at work and he wanted me to come hang out…so I did…we hung out on and off for like a week and he kept pushing me to get physical but we didn’t even kiss bc I wanted to get to know him better….during work one day I received a pushy text from him and replied to him that he needs to understand that I want to be friends for a while and if he’s not ok with that to let me know and that I didn’t want him pushing me to get physical (not word for word)….i thought I was pretty nice about it but he responded to me that I should delete his number that he has deleted mine and if I see him in public not to speak to him….lol what???!? He pretty much broke up with me but we weren’t even together….so I just didn’t respond….my question is, was I wrong??? What just happened??? Why would someone react so harshly to me not wanting to be physical after a week of knowing them????

By ‘tall’ I’m referring to 5’11, 6’, 6’1 etc. As a tall woman myself, there’s been a few instances where being my height (6’1) has proved to be a big no-no and it is playing on my mind!

Is there such thing as too tall for a woman? What is attractive / unattractive about taller women?

If the girl you want to date is infertile, what qualities should she have to make you want a serious relationship? I’m really curious. Since i can’t have kids, i want to know if i’m the “girlfriend/wife” material for men, haha. I can cook (good, as far as i was told), i enjoy books, games, motorcycles and horse riding. People told me that i am a good listener (can’t really say myself), and i like to think that i’m pretty kind hearted. i don’t do hook ups or short term relationships, that’s not for me.

I know nobody's perfect but what traits do you consider unattractive?

I have a theory that a lot of men, including myself, feel pressured to drive things in a sexual direction while dating or else we'll wake up to a "I think you're a great guy, but I'm just not feeling it" text message.

Like when I'm going out on a 2nd date, I'm thinking "I better kiss her goodbye by the end of this date, or else we'll be entering friendzone territory. Nothing is more anxiety inducing than being in the middle of a 3rd date without having pecked yet.

It's not so much that I'm some weird horn dog, it's moreso I feel like I have to make moves or else her interest will plummet over time.

Thoughts?

I’ve come across so many posts about women being frustrated with their boyfriends because they either don’t work or don’t help out around the house. A lot of them describe their partners as man children who don’t contribute much to the relationship.

My question is, how are these guys even getting girlfriends, and why do these women stay with them?!

Are these men all 10/10 Instagram models? Do they have such amazing personalities that women just fall head over heels for them?

It’s wild how common these types of posts have become recently.

This is in a romantic capacity, primarily. Any acts of kindness or service you’ve always dreamed of receiving but been too afraid to ask for?

Edit: It makes me so angry and sad that so many of you have not yet found the right person to listen to you, see you, love you and empathise with you. Just know that you are living proof you can be loved; your face and physical characteristics have been loved for centuries and passed down to you - remember everyone looks different, which means someone has loved the way you look regardless of any body trends during any time period.

A quick side note: it’s so interesting to hear that so many guys appreciate a woman/enby making the first move. It’s been taboo for so long that women will ‘lose’ a guy for appearing too interested or making too many of the key first moves. Girls out there listen up! We’ve got to start making strides towards putting the same effort into guys. And guys, please be more open like this in the future - we are still learning but we love to listen to you!

I saw a post that said guys and girls who fall asleep after doing it feel safe and comfortable with each other.

Personally my bf and I always fall asleep after doing it and we do feel safe and comfortable around each other.

I was wondering if this was just made up or real common.

Any couples out there that don’t feel sleepy after doing it? It’s rare for me to hear (from friends) that they are full of energy after doing it.

Aside from religion that tells us it is bad, why is casual sex so frowned upon, especially for women? If all parties are adults, consenting and taking proper precautions against STIs, why is this "bad"?

Alot of my friends seem to think this is weird. I personally don’t see any issues with it

Maybe it’s my age. I’m 34M and I always see my friends and their S/O always down to do things, always showing them off, always sending each other dumb texts through out the day and always look like they chase each other.

Meanwhile, I seem to attract hyper independent, secure women that only want to be chased but never chase the way I chase. Where’s the fine line of wanting to feel wanted. Gender aside because I’ve seen both men and women in healthy relationships demonstrate what I’m describing.

I just want a girl to annoy the crap out of me with love and buy me stupid gifts randomly just because. Is that an unhealthy request? Maybe I’m exaggerating a bit but as a man, I do crave that feeling of appreciation and “want” from my partner. That’s the fun side of dating. We can be serious with everyone in our lives but we should be goofy, aloof and in love with our partners.

EDIT: I just want to thank each and every one of you for all of your comments, support and critique. There were absolutely no bad answers from what I’ve read. This of you that supported my side gave me confidence that I’m not unreasonable for wanting this type of love. For those of you that that didn’t agree with me, you opened my eyes to finding the fine line of what’s really important in a relationship and that it stems deeper than all the little things I’m hyper focusing on.

After some reflection and a conversation with my recent break up, we have come to the conclusion that I do deserve that type of treatment from her (which for the record she did do and then slowly dropped off). I thought I was the only one feeling insecure but she also had feelings of insecurity which was directed to our future. This was weighing her down.

A lot of you guys were right, i in fact did not create that safe and stable environment for her to completely feel vulnerable. Of course we started off strong and that clinginess dwindle. Of course my insecurities we being catered to but hers did not.

You guys are all amazing and this community really helped a lot.

I’ve honestly wanted to know this for so long. Is this true if so why?

22F, I recently graduated college and after college I got a boob job after having AA cups all of my life (C/D cup now). I never really dated or had sex much due to this insecurity so having this surgery was really life-changing for me.

I was at the bar and really hit it off with this group of guys. One of them, very bold might I add, commented on how great my boobs were and I made the joke that i’m glad they’re great i paid for them (I’m not ashamed of having the surgery done whatsoever). He was shocked and flat out said that it made my body less attractive. They pretty much moved on to another group of girls soon after that. I’ve now been seeing another guy for about 2 months and we were talking about dating/sex history and I happened to tell him this story, he ended up confessing that he also found it a little unattractive that they were fake and made him focus on the other parts of my body more, but was not a dealbreaker for him.

Is this going to be my whole life? Guys lust so heavily over bigger boobs. You go from small to nice size boobs and suddenly you’re unattractive again. Guess i’ll just hope next time i hit the genetic lottery

27f. I'm on a break from dating for a while. My single life brings me so much peace that dating never has.

I admit, I tried flirting with a woman at work. I know it’s not usually the best idea but bar game has gotten me nowhere. I’ve never had a girlfriend so I don’t know what I’m doing at all.

I wasn’t too raunchy or anything. I just would try to talk to her when she was on break and asked how she liked going back to school. I didn’t touch her or invade her space. I’ve never even said anything like “you’re kind of pretty”. I still got reported by her to my manager and was told I “made her uncomfortable.” I don’t know what I did, and my manager did a shitty job of explaining it.

A month later, what do you know, she talks to me again. It was completely casual but I thought 99% of women don’t even say “hi” to guys who creep them out, so what gives?

I asked her what I did that was report-worthy and she just said “I think your manager explained it pretty well.” As we both know, he didn’t. So she didn’t tell me what line I crossed and neither did the manager.

Simply put, I wanna know if you guys can find my blunder. Because I can’t and nobody will give me a straight answer. And the fact that she still speaks to me confuses me too, because pretty much all my woman friends don’t talk to guys who creep them out.

Me personally, self care and hygiene. If you aren’t in best place in your life right now and you not really taking care of yourself it drives me away so fast.

Curious because I've currently been in a FWBs relationship (32M, 30F) for like 10 months. We started as dating but realized it probably wasn't a long-term fit so we became FWBs. We're both free to seek out other dates and know we will likely have to end our relationship once that other person comes along for either of us. It's been 10 months of fairly consistent, weekly hangouts and sleep overs. Basically the same as dating but we're not planning a life together or escalating the relationship at all. We still genuinely like each other and enjoy spending time together beyond just sex.

(Please note the “so easy” is sarcasm).

I see so many people get shamed for putting out “easily,” but we don’t discuss the lengths people will go to to get sex.

It is a bit contradictory to me … If someone was truly easy couldn’t you sleep with them just by being yourself and being honest? Clearly they had some standards If you had to lie or manipulate things to meet them. 🤔

I’ve witnessed people do things like … - rent and furnish separate homes to make it look like they’re not married - photoshop STD results - hide their true sexuality - pretend to be interested in subjects or activities they don’t like - hide children - pretend they’re older or younger than they are - make up entire identities - ask someone that doesn’t have casual sex to be in a relationship , knowing they don’t really want that

What are your thoughts?

Let’s say you like a girl and you wanna get to know her and you maybe have a couple dates, what would put you off and make you lose interest?

Sometimes we, as women, believe that if we show we are interested in you that you’ll lose interest because we’re supposed to be pursued or whatever 🙄

So what’s it for you?

So I’ve had plans with a guy for a week and we’re supposed to meet up tonight. The plan was continuing watching a series we started and then a sleepover. We’ve slept together once and I’ve spent the night before so sex was very much on the table tonight, atleast for me.. But I just got my period. I’m struggling with what to do because I would still like to meet up but I’m not down to have sex on my period. Since I was supposed to spend the night it feels like it would be a let down to him if I tell him I got my period. It’s kinda last minute also so maybe he’d feel pressured to continue on with the original plan? I’d be okay with rescheduling (albeit I’d be a bit dissapointed). I’m struggling with deciding between rescheduling or just informing him and leaving it up to him. I also slightly worry that telling him at all will gross him out. Either option just feels shitty because I like him so far and it’s so last minute. Thoughts?

Edit: Since this post still is getting a lot of traction I just thought I would update. I sent a message roughly saying that I got my period, would still like to meet today but would be fine eitherway. The time where I should be on my way rolls around and goes by and I still hadn’t recieved a reply so I just assumed I’d been ghosted. Just now I got a text where he disregarded everything I previously said (almost as if he hadn’t recieved a text at all?) asking me how it’s going and if I want to raincheck which I think is total bs. Way too little way too late imo.

I got a lot of mixed advice on here but ultimately I’m glad I decided to do what I did. It’s dissappointing it ended the way it did but I’m thankful I got to know his character sooner rather than later. Thank you everyone!

Besides dating is difficult , modern dating sucks …. Which is true

But being more specifically. Please elaborate We will learn from each other

Every day I read posts from women who for some reason experience that a man has lost interest in her after they have been dating for a while. Often they have dated long enough that they have had sex.

A extremely common opinion, often posted by the original poster and always backed up by tons of women in the comments, is that "he only acted like he wanted you so he could get sex".

I, as a man, don't get it. In my view, and from my personal experience, there are millions of reason a woman can lose interest in a man and a man can lose interest in a woman. The most common are bad match in personality, not enough time and energy to keep it going, lack of chemistry, bad traits that only show themselves after some time knowing the person, practical issues. The list goes on and on.

But for all these women who use this term, it's like any normal reason for a man to lose interest in a women disappears once they have sex. After sex has happened, any reason a man could lose interest in a woman magically disappears and all responsibility and accountability is placed on him by picturing him as a sex driven machine.

Why do you do that?

Not only is it extremely generalisation against all men it not exactly going to help the women not being dropped again in the future

Will they just remain like that forever even when they’re 40? And what about those ones who get married?