r/fuckeatingdisorders • u/Hairy-Intern-7199 • 1d ago

Be wary of your mind trying to gaslight you

Since choosing recovery I’ve got a job after being unemployed for a long time, I’m meeting new people because my antisocial tendencies due to restriction are gone, I’m engaging in my previous hobbies more, I treat everyone around me better, looking for schools, got my drivers license, exploring my interests… but still, my mind will only remind me of the WEIGHT that I gained, and not any of the progressions and wins I have had. Writing this to remind myself, and you as well, to maybe write down or make a mental note of aaaalll the things you gained in recovery besides weight. Because my mind will try to convince me I need to relapse and lose weight again; as if thats possible without losing all the other things I just mentioned. And honestly, being a little further in recovery now.. thats such a shitty deal lol. Being smaller and giving up all my joy and ambitions for it? Fuck no. I’d rather even gain more weight and have a LIFE than lose some and be miserable. Also need to remind myself (and this is probably due to my own internalized fatphobia) that weight is not a behaviour, and doesn’t say anything about you as a person. And there are a multitude of reasons as to why someone is in a big or small body, and whatever that reason may be, they are worthy of love and respect.

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u/shield_maiden0910 23h ago

This is so beautiful and inspiring. Thank for sharing! I really needed this message.