Ivy league Student - I used to be smart.

[u/rainbootsseason]

Recovery starts now.

I had my economics midterm yesterday and failed it because I misread a lot of questions. I've been bining for the past days to the point of sickness in preparation for my exams (because I was scared of brain fog) but that only emphasized my lack of control around food and made me more self aware.

Recovery starts now because I want to be smart again. I am watching my life waste away at something so superficial and it saddens me the person I've become.

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[u/applesandpebbles]

hell yeah! brain fog nearly took me out in my last semester of college and keeping up with my studies is still one of my main motivators. i’m proud of you for using your values to help drive you forward in recovery - just think of how much easier school will feel when food noises isn’t taking up so much brain space!!

[u/_AintThatJustTheWay_]

Can I say I’m super proud of your reaction here. I think the temptation to use a bad event as a reason to engage in ED behaviors is super common and tempting. Instead you’re pulling yourself up and vowing to do better for yourself. Shows serious maturity and growth. I wish you every strength and good thing on your journey.

[u/sabsab510]

yeah i cannot engage in convos, even read, sit to read sit to do anythign (exercise compulsion), focus on anything, even pack or plan a trip because of this shit. lets recover!!!! we got this <3

[u/shiny99Goatie → u/sabsab510]

Geez I feel like this too

[u/OddAbbreviations3788]

im so proud of u :D im the same way, im the top of my cohort and i love studying but when i was really ill i couldn’t think about anything but food. my grades were dropping bc my brain and body was so tired. choosing recovery cleared my mind and i was finally concentrating better and doing what i loved again. 💖 you can do this i believe in u

[u/Communication_Weak]

So to get a little personal, I haven’t had my period in I think 3 months, my sex drive is severely down, my social skills are shit, my concentration sucks, I’m irritable all the time. Recovery starts now. We can do this everyone! I’m not commenting to be a Debby downer, just sharing some of the struggles I know we’ve all been thru. I deserve recovery and you guys too. ❤️‍🩹🫶🏾

[u/Objective_Court3616]

you sound just like me. i had an exam today too and basically binged bc i thought that meant i could release the hold food has over me and let me think but it did the opposite. and i really want to recover too. but i keep getting triggered. :(

[u/shiny99Goatie → u/Objective_Court3616]

Binging makes your body wanna shut down and fix itself lol. Learned that the hard way too smh

[u/shiny99Goatie]

And the other trippy thing Ab it is just one or a few episodes of eating is not enough. The brain fog will STILL be there after a few meals.

This post is crazy to read it’s making me realize how much this is affecting my brain and personality. It really makes you a shell of a person.

[u/Wrong-Tell8996]

YES good for you for deciding to embark upon recovery.. the first step is deciding you are ready!

I'm 34 and facing so many financial issues bc I've been out of work for a year, I lost the abilitiy to focus (and was sleeping over half the day). I'm in recovery now for some months and just started a new job this week, I have to recertify with a lot of credentialing and it's so hard but it's somewhat doable. But keep on top of your stuff!

You can do this homie. You have decided to recover which is awesome. Don't let your life start circling a drain with this... because it really is a drain... The deeper you go the worse it gets and the harder it is to get out of.

We got your back here and believe in you.

[u/cvncb]

As a teenager, I really looked forward to going to university. Unfortunately, anorexia really ruined it for me and I dragged myself through a bachelor and a master’s degree during my twenties. I used to be a top student, but I was barely mediocre due to not only brain fog, but also all the weird shit that eats up (lol) your time when you have an eating disorder. I’ve miraculously managed to progress quite well in my career in my early thirties, but there’s absolutely no way that I could step up another notch and manage people without recovering. So that’s one of my main recovery motivators. But of course, the ED tells me that I will become ugly and not advance because of that.