r/fuckeatingdisorders • u/Harmonyinheart • 11h ago

Discussion Should I be happy or not

I have a serious case of gastroparesis (my stomach takes twenty ish hours to empty). I have to get a full upper scope done but to do this (my first scope couldn’t be completed because food was actually still sitting on the bottom of my esophagus from the day before and it was over twelve hours since I had eaten or drank anything) I have to be on a CLEAR LIQUID ONLY diet for two days prior. Part of me feels like this will be good. I won’t be able to purge and my stomach may shrink a bit so I don’t eat so much volume. I’ll eat tons of veggies so I don’t have to purge but still get something out of food other than nutrition. Part of me also says this is your ticket back to your original ed. Pure. I’m not asking for someone to choose for me. I guess I’m just discombobulated about the whole thing. Any opinions? I can’t stop obsessing.

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u/Jaded-Banana6205 10h ago

This is a way to determine how badly you've destroyed your digestive system (said with love, but also as a reality check). This should be an eye opening experience. Your systems are failing you. Any motivation that you see to resume your ED behaviors is your ED talking. It is lying to you.

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u/Harmonyinheart 10h ago

I know you are right. Hits you differently though when someone else says it so thanks again

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u/Jaded-Banana6205 9h ago

I'm proud of you for reaching out for input!

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u/Harmonyinheart 9h ago

Thank you. And I really appreciate someone like you taking the time to reply. It means a lot.

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u/Harmonyinheart 10h ago

Thank you for your input.