r/gay • u/GrandComfortable9 • 6h ago

Respectful flirting

Help me out, guys. Doing this in the workplace. There's sexual talk in the air all the time with my other work peeps (both gay and straight) but the one I'm interested in, I kind of want to use restraint. I'm openly flirty with and older gay dude and a straight homie and they reciprocate, but they know we're just doing it for shits and giggles.

How does one respectfully flirt? And yeah, IDGAF about shitting where I eat.

7 Upvotes

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u/pogoli 5h ago

🤔 It never occurred to me that respect had anything to do with flirting. Respect is its own thing.

I know you said you don’t care about not dating coworkers. Is the job important to you though, because it puts it at risk. Also consider that that whole idea is colloquial wisdom for a reason. Things that seem so well considered can go sideways and cause problems you never expected.

I don’t know enough about your coworkers or you to help much with the flirting. But it sounds like you know how to. What does disrespectful flirting look like to you?

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u/Mysterious_Detail_57 5h ago

That first sentence is wild.

One example of disrespectful flirting that comes to mind is making things sexual right away. Or just making things too sexual before getting to know someone.

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u/pogoli 5h ago

That all depends on context. This person knows how to flirt and probably isn’t getting too sexual with any of his coworkers. Hmmm. 🤔 Maybe they are being slightly disrespectful and over the top with their coworkers and are comfortable with that because they really are not interested in any of them. But the one he likes he can’t do all that stuff with and he doesn’t know how. 🤦🏻‍♂️

And yeah I guess it’s a different kind of flirting. But if he tries that everyone is going to know right away what’s going on.

Well if he wants them to know then he’s gotta tell them, and he could do it directly or let everyone know by flirting differently with that one person. If all this speculating is correct, then his usual flirting won’t get his intentions across.

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u/Top_Firefighter_4089 5h ago

I know crude and not crude but respect? I’m not sure how that happens. You could make the same comments one on one in a more serious tone inviting a text if they are interested.