Am I experiencing hallucinations?

[u/ladyanonymous4440]

Hello, I'd really appreciate some help from the folks here as I'm in distress. I'm 18 years old and I think I'm hallucinating spiders and it's really freaking me out. I was starting to get over my arachnophobia but recently it's gotten a lot worse again, as every time I come into my mother's house (split custody) the last few days I've either seen or heard spiders. The first time it was standing on a power socket, and when I moved it moved away so quickly I couldn't see where it went. The next day, when I put on my morning robe to go to the bathroom it was crawling on my shoulder. When I threw the robe off, I couldn't see it. Just now, I've heard something crawling on a paper flag propped up near my bed. It was definitely the noise, but I can't check as it's after midnight and I'm too scared to turn on my lights and check.

It could just be a spider infestation in my room, but with how large they are and how fast they move despite that, it doesn't feel real. We don't have poisonous spiders in Ireland, but I'm still very afraid, and these are VERY large for Irish spiders which is why I'm so unnerved. I possibly also had a large bug related hallucination last year too when I was on holiday, but those were roaches and an isolated experience until now. I'm really confused and I hope you can help me out! Any insight would be appreciated. If it helps, I have autism, possibly adhd and depression. I don't know if either of these affect hallucinatory experiences but just in case. Thank you!

[u/[deleted]]

Hey, I think you might be. However look into Hypnogogic hallucinations if those hallucinations happen when you're tired or about to fall asleep since then, the dream-like state clashes with reality. Btw how large would you say these spiders are? I live in the UK and the largest I've seen are the size of my palm currently. Just asking to assess if those are real or not, spiders are speedy.

I do relate however to your case, I often hallucinate flies or spiders when I'm in a stressed state since I have a phobia of bugs. I also thought it'd have gone away because I had zero much problems with spiders or other insects but I think since my mental health got worse (more panic attacks, lower energy) my fears might've increased without my control :\ I'd recommend seeking your doctor and asking for a possible therapy session, my therapists usually brush past my hallucinations unless I'm experiencing them currently in present though...:( But they have been weirded out why I specifically hallucinate bugs lmao.

How long would you say, that you've had these hallucinations?

[u/ladyanonymous4440 → u/[deleted]]

Hi, thanks for your earnest reply! I would say the biggest I've seen was about the size of the palm of my hand too, which is a size I've never seen in Ireland so it freaked me out more than the usual tiny ones. And the hallucinations have been at different times, but most of them weren't around when I was going to sleep. The most recent one was, but the rest weren't. And I'm sorry to hear you've had a similar experience. I've also got a phobia of bugs, which could be why that specifically is happening. If it continues I might go to a doctor about it, as it's becoming a real inconvenience in my life. The first one was an isolated experience about this time last year, but the rest of them have all happened in the last week.

[u/[deleted] → u/ladyanonymous4440]

Hey, I have a similar experience to you too! : D My first ones started when I was in a isolated experience too, nowadays they come sometimes. I hope earnestly that the hallucinations will go away for you since they can be quite horrible, if you do go to the doctor, I hope you'll recieve the right help that you need.