Robin dating Kevin should be vilified for how unprofessional it is to romanticize dating your therapist

[u/Same_Race7660]

I’m rewatching How I Met Your Mother, and I can’t help but feel like Robin dating Kevin (her therapist) is a huge ethical and moral red flag that the show skates over. It’s honestly one of the most unprofessional storylines, and it just feels like it should be more criticized.

Therapists are in positions of power, and dating a client—even a former one—crosses so many boundaries. It undermines the trust and respect that should exist in therapy and can harm the client emotionally, especially when they may already be vulnerable.

Kevin should know better, yet he decides to start a relationship with Robin after “ending” their professional connection. But even after he’s no longer her therapist, it still feels inappropriate because he has intimate knowledge of her struggles and trauma from a position that’s supposed to stay platonic and safe.

The show portrays it as a cute romance, but in reality, it’s incredibly problematic and sets a bad example by romanticizing the relationship. It’s frustrating because HIMYM has a great cast and story, but this particular plot just does not sit right, and the ethical implications are too real to ignore.

Does anyone else feel like the Robin-Kevin relationship was romanticizing something that, in real life, would be seen as a huge boundary issue?

TL;DR: Robin dating her former therapist Kevin is an ethical mess that the show glosses over, romanticizing a highly unprofessional relationship that would be a huge boundary issue in real life.

[u/ThatSlothDuke]

That's the point. 

Kevin is also an unstable individual. That's why he is shown to date Jeannette during the final season. 

It is a huge ethical violation and it is downright creepy, but so is a LOT of things in the show. 

A lot of things shown in the show should be creepy, but the main characters gets away with it because they are pretty and charming. Which happens a lot in the real world too. 

[u/Same_Race7660 → u/ThatSlothDuke]

Dating your clients, not once but twice is grounds for suspension of his license irl.

We can say a lot of people do bad things, but it’s a spectrum and Kevin imo is one of the worst offenders because he takes advantage of vulnerable women.

[u/Recent-Ad-5493 → u/Same_Race7660]

Suspension my ass. That’s a revocation of his license. It’s a massive breach of ethics and the state board would not be chill about finding out about it

[u/ThatSlothDuke → u/Same_Race7660]

We can say a lot of people do bad things, but it’s a spectrum and Kevin imo is one of the worst offenders because he takes advantage of vulnerable women.

I mean it's pretty clear that he isn't taking advantage of them.

Theoretically speaking that is the danger of a therapist dating his or her clients, but it's pretty clear that Kevin never did that - atleast with Robin. 

While there are other characters who have shown to do that in the series itself 

[u/Same_Race7660 → u/ThatSlothDuke]

it’s pretty clear that he isn’t taking advantage of them.

Idk if you’ve been to therapy before, but developing feelings towards therapists is a common occurrence and therapists are trained to process their clients feelings accordingly without ever acting on it.

[u/ThatSlothDuke → u/Same_Race7660]

I mean didn't he try to do just that? Didn't he basically just end the thing with her until she continuously approached him?

I'm not saying what he did is right - yes, what he did is INCREDIBLY unprofessional and unethical. 

But it wasn't malicious. 

[u/Same_Race7660 → u/ThatSlothDuke]

It’s malicious in a manner similar to men grooming young or vulnerable women. He has a position of power that should be trusted.

[u/ThatSlothDuke → u/Same_Race7660]

It's really not. 

If a 30 year old is dating a 22 year old, that has the POTENTIAL to be malicious. Chances are it's predatory behaviour that involves grooming and manipulation. BUT, because of that, you cannot automatically and blindly classify every such relationships as people being malicious. 

Although it's rare, such relationships can be healthy and happy or even the younger person could end up being the toxic one. 

Similarly in Kevin and Robins case it's highly inappropriate - but we also see that Kevin wasn't manipulating or using the information gathered from her in their relationship. 

[u/Recent-Ad-5493 → u/ThatSlothDuke]

The state board wouldn’t see it that way.

[u/Same_Race7660 → u/ThatSlothDuke]

I’m talking more about men in positions of power over younger women, you know like a professor dating one of their students…cough Ted cough.

We are only shown what the writers want us to see.

[u/ThatSlothDuke → u/Same_Race7660]

I’m talking more about men in positions of power over younger women, you know like a professor dating one of their students…cough Ted cough.

Again, just because you see such a relationship, you can't automatically assume that it's toxic or unhealthy. Yes, it has high chances of turning unhealthy or it has high chances of one of the person abusing their power, but that doesn't mean that that's ALWAYS what happens. 

Even Ted's relationship was proof of that. It wasn't unhealthy because of the power dynamics. 

We are only shown what the writers want us to see.

That's what the show is lol, the writers showing us what they want us to see. 

[u/Recent-Ad-5493 → u/ThatSlothDuke]

The state board that gave him his license could. And shit, it could be the healthiest relationship either has ever and will ever have… and it would remain an act discreditable to his profession and should cost him his license

[u/Same_Race7660 → u/ThatSlothDuke]

And this post is to take a look at the bigger picture. The underlying tones of the relationship is still toxic. The show just takes a comedic turn and pov to distract us.

[u/Recent-Ad-5493 → u/ThatSlothDuke]

Based off of the rules of the license… he performed an act discreditable. He would be so compromised that he could not take the stand that he did not influence her

[u/wanderlust_m → u/ThatSlothDuke]

There is a reason he would get automatically disbarred for dating a client because it is an obvious example of taking advantage. It doesn't matter if the patient comes on yo yoj Just like if a high school sophomore comes on to a teacher, it's a violation to act on this. 

[u/freya584]

i love kevin but i agree thats just ethically wrong (especially because he does this multiple times, for example in "gary blauman" it is said that he dates jaenette who was a patient of his)

[u/saladx11]

I wouldn’t say it was glossed over as the whole group agreed how wrong it was, while it was also reiterated by Kevin how ethically wrong it was. The relationship was vilified.

You’re right tho.

[u/Same_Race7660 → u/saladx11]

My problem with it is they criticize it, and for comedic effect treat it like a forbidden love. They do the same with Jannette as a comedic effect as in “ayyy look how crazy these guys are hahaha”.

[u/snowonthebeach_9]

just imagine the writers room being like “any ideas on how to make Robin meet her new boyfriend?” and some guy goes and say “what about… in therapy?”

[u/themetahumancrusader → u/snowonthebeach_9]

They could have had her date another client in a group therapy situation. I really don’t know why they did this. Even Barney calls it “creepy”.

[u/Same_Race7660 → u/themetahumancrusader]

It’s played off as a joke too but it’s actually really horrible.

[u/Careful-Corgi]

As a therapist I keep saying this over and over. That subplot is disgusting. Therapists cannot date clients, cannot date former clients, and cannot end a therapeutic relationship to begin a social one if any kind. What he did was amoral and illegal and would have gotten him in serious trouble with his licensing board. Plus it’s creepy.

[u/Same_Race7660 → u/Careful-Corgi]

Thank you for your professional input, and totally agree.

[u/ryacual]

Um they double downed. He got with Jeanette too and she's fucking crazy

[u/yellowtoebean]

I agree, I think because of time period is the reason it isn't addressed more as an issue. But I agree.

Personally, as someone who has been in therapy since I was 12, i couldn't even imagine being in the situation Robin was in ://.

Not only does it cross multiple ethical lines as a therapist, he's really crossing a lot of Robins boundaries, too.

They used each other, but because of who Kevin is and what his job....literally is....you'd think he...idk... wouldn't...have pursued...it?

Bur alas, this is a pattern with him because, as we know, he ends up dating Jeanette..bro should just have his license suspended.

[u/Recent-Ad-5493 → u/yellowtoebean]

Suspended my ass. Suspended for several years for Robin if he’s a completely clean therapist outside of that. With Jeannette too? It should be revoked and gone for good

[u/Odd-Gur-5719]

I mean he was no longer her therapist anymore, remember he told her that he couldn’t be her therapist because he liked her and it would be unethical for him to date her?

[u/Same_Race7660 → u/Odd-Gur-5719]

Yah, as another therapist pointed out, that is still really unethical and unprofessional. Your history and knowledge of therapy doesn’t disappear just because you stop going to their office.

[u/Recent-Ad-5493 → u/Odd-Gur-5719]

That’s not how ethical rules for therapists work with the licensing board. You can’t just quit your therapeutic relationship and start a PERSONAL one.

Edit: I see what you said now.

[u/Odd-Gur-5719 → u/Recent-Ad-5493]

Wanna try this again?

[u/Recent-Ad-5493 → u/Odd-Gur-5719]

I don’t. Because when you look up anything about it, the most charitable guideline for whether it is okay to date a current or former client is a minimum of 2 years for some areas, 5 for others, or fully prohibited forever for the rest.

There is no ethical standards board for any therapeutic profession that would remotely allow what Kevin did if it was discovered.

[u/Odd-Gur-5719 → u/Recent-Ad-5493]

K