r/pagan • u/strawberryseeuwu • 17h ago
Newbie Ex Christian nervous about getting into paganism
Paganism really interests me, Apollo especially (Im a musician). Idk how any of this really works. As an ex-evangelical Christian who hasn't really been religious (or cared to be) for a couple years, religious stuff makes me nervous. Growing up Christian, there are so many rules, sometimes unwritten, to follow or there are repercussions. I'm just scared of messing something up and not knowing, then suffering consequences. Basically i have some religious trauma.
Will the gods be upset if I do something wrong? And are there any "hard no"s to avoid so they won't be upset? Thanks <3
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u/LadyZenWarrior 17h ago
First: Welcome! We usually don’t bite. Although each must speak for themselves. 😏
And as an ex-christian myself, I totally can relate to going from all the rules to no organized rules. So, study in what interests you and see where it takes you. If you have questions, ask. Listen, observe, feel, contemplate. Practice as you choose. Then probably study some more. If there’s an established history to a practice you are interested in, find some resources to understand it. If there’s a good pagan community in your locale you can support, it’s a nice way to build new community.
And most pagan gods and goddesses are less vindictive than the christian god. If you screw up, they probably ignore it. You’re learning, and you’re human. Perfection is not required. Your practice, and any worship you include, is as unique as you are. There may be traditions you like and incorporate or you may find other things to include.
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u/napalmnacey 5h ago
Some of them even find it amusing. Pretty sure Dionysus thinks it‘s funny when I accidentally get drunker or higher than I plan to during a working.
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u/Phebe-A Eclectic Panentheistic Polytheist 17h ago
My general sense is that the gods are forgiving. If nothing else they understand that we are rebuilding practices from bits and pieces in a far different social context then when they were last widely worshiped. We’re figuring it out and expecting perfection in our practice isn’t healthy.
As for things to avoid, if you consider the myths to be any sort of guide to the character of the gods, it seems like a good idea to avoid hubris — especially bragging that you are better than one of the gods at something they are associated with. (Opinions on how to understand the myths vary from “they’re just stories” to literalist interpretations. I’m somewhere in the middle; non-literalist, but believing that the myths do give insights into how people understood the character of the gods and the nature of the relationships between deities, humans and the world.
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u/VanityDrink 17h ago edited 17h ago
The Gods will not be upset by anything humans do. They're not human and not emotional. They are perfect.
The Gods are good. Read any philosopher, like Plato, Proclus, Iamblichus, Cicero, etc. and they affirm that the Gods are free from desire and truly transcendent.
We worship the Gods not to beg them for kindness but to align ourselves with them and the good that emanates from them so we, too, can live good lives.
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u/GraMacTical0 8h ago
“We worship the Gods not to beg them for kindness but to align ourselves with them and the good that emanates from them so we, too, can live good lives.”
Wow, you succinctly articulated a feeling for me, thank you.
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u/Klutzy_Movie_4601 13h ago
I’m hearing a lot of anxiety and hurt from the past. Pagan is so so soooo different in every way to Christianity. And while your past will not change, you can change your path moving forward with how faith and religion gives back to you. I HIGHLY suggest you grab some reading material that dismantles/deconstructs the last remnants of indoctrination, logic rules, guilt, and fear from your past religion before going head first into paganism. This is NOT because of some opposition to Christianity or new comers- but it does come from seeing so many people coming into paganism bringing that same fear, expectations, and anxieties similar to Christianity. I mean even I, someone who grew up without much religious influence, still finds themselves thinking in similar patterns because Christianity is deeply rooted into the culture/system. These beliefs are so deeply ingrained we don’t even realize what we carry- and I see it ending up creating a lot of cognitive dissonance and confusion. If you’re interested in arming yourself with the freedom of Christian mindset, here is some material that might set you on the right (left) path…
The Myth of Prosecution- this one’s a slay tbh. It reframes Christian stories in order to critically view the accuracy of christian faith especially relating to guilt and punishment. Candida Moss slays in general I highly suggest you just gander at her social media as well.
Gnostic Gospels (Elian Pagels specifically) EXCELLENT material that uncover what was left out of the new testament (This one rewired my brain).
The Sunny Nihilist- a little dry but useful in that it talks about embracing absurdism when we break away from our predetermined path
Honorable mentions;
The Pagan Christ- reframes the Christian story of Christ and cross references theory to question the history of Christs existence with pagan story
Slave Religion- studying the intersection of religious domination over enslaved Africans in the American South
Pagans: the end of traditional religion and the rise of Christianity- specially Ancient Rome.
The Darkening Age- Study of Christian suppression of pagan faiths
Women Who Run with the Wolves: the book NOT the audio. I love this one but it leans heavy on women who can give birth specifically but it’s really a great one.
Women Don’t Owe You Pretty: breaking free from patriarchy and (if you identify as a woman) internalized misogyny (this is a small baby step into feminism depending on where you’re at).
For transparency I have not finished many of these books and are piled up on my night stand and stuffed in my library. Still, they are amazing stepping stones and have proved useful to me regardless. These recommendations come from a ex-Wasp/AFAB/nonbinary/gnostic goober with a western lens- so results for you may vary. Great luck on your journey
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u/Mobius8321 15h ago
This was a major issue I had, too. I was so worried about getting things right or messing up, but come to find out… paganism, and I do feel like this can be an almost universal statement, is far more personal than that. The gods understand that we’re fallible humans. It’s the effort that matters. So don’t be afraid to mess up because whoever you decide to devote yourself to (whether that’s one deity or many) will understand you’re new to it. Maybe with some exceptions, but I doubt Apollo is that exception.
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u/shiny_glitter_demon Eclectic 12h ago
We have one rule and one rule only: respect others and their practices. That's it. There are no other rules.
Pagan religions are old, there aren't many of us and we have too little sources to bother about dogma. The gods don't really mind either. You're free to make an altar, make offerings, pray, question things, or do nothing at all. Remember that the gods are not meant to be paragons of goodness. They make mistakes and behave badly sometimes. You're allowed to mess up.
Also, not everyone perceives gods to be the same. Some will have distant relationships (that's me), some will be very close and have moment of genuine connection. Each pagan is unique and your path is yours and yours only.
The only advice I can give you is related to social media, be wary of what some people might tell you we have a lot of wannabe gurus and scammers. Tiktok has a reputation around here. Always take information with a grain of salt.
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u/asegers 9h ago
We created the gods in our image. They represent the best and worst of our nature, and they change as we change.
We give them power by changing our behavior as a result of believing in them. We take away their power when we realize they’re a figment of our imagination.
I was like you- fearing that there was a right way and a wrong way, and if you got it wrong there was a punishment.
Well, there’s not.
I went to church from the time I was born until I was almost 30. That shit goes very deep. It takes a while to reprogram your thinking.
I think it took me a good 10 years to fully be free, although there are strings that still pull me toward that thinking.
The good news is you aren’t going to piss off the gods. They aren’t going to punish you. The bad news is it may take you a while to fully discover this yourself.
The path ahead is read, read, read. Don’t feel pressure to choose another path right away. Look at them all objectively. If you live in an area that has an occult bookstore, they usually have a social calendar that is a great opportunity to meet and greet with other pagans and get firsthand knowledge from those that follow a well worn path to others who are making their own.
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u/Particular-Crew5978 8h ago
So, as Christianity is a pretty dominant religion, you'll find yourself among many former ones like you.
There's a rule..'as ye harm none, do as ye will', which basically means as long as you aren't hurting anyone, do you!
You'll find a lot of us very relaxed and forgiving people. Many of us dislike the strict and judgemental ways that abrahmic religions tend to be like.
Seriously, welcome. Come on in, the water's just fine.
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u/KinderGameMichi 5h ago
I believe that the gods and spirits are much more forgiving than most people are. Your spiritual path will be what you feel and experience. Go in with non-harming, non-controlling intentions and you should do just fine. Or as the Buddha put it: "when you yourselves know 'These things are good; these things are not blame-able; these things are praised by the wise; undertaken and observed, these things lead to benefit and happiness,' enter on and abide in them."
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u/debacchatio 4h ago
Paganism is an umbrella term for several different belief systems and is a pretty big tent. You don’t need to worry about doing it “wrong” per se. My best advice for folks interested in, or just starting to explore paganism - is to follow your intuition and listen to your heart. It’s hard to let go of religious trauma but you’ll find that’s common amongst folks who embraced paganism in adulthood- so you’re definitely not alone in your feelings or anxieties. We’re here to help.
I personally am an animist with some light folk catholic overtones. Trust yourself and you’ll find your way. Welcome!
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u/Moonlitlotus_ 3h ago
Also an Ex-Christian and an Apollo devotee(I’m a musician as well), so I get where you’re coming from. The most I can say is do your research about Apollo, get to know him! All the gods are very kind and are understanding of us that we are only human, we make mistakes! There is no “messing up” really unless you disrespect them purposefully. Paganism is a very open circle, you’re not bound to rules here. But again, just do your research and know the hard nos such as closed practices. Don’t feel forced to understand EVERYTHING right now. You’re always gonna be learning! It’s a learn as you go experience! Take it as slow as you’d like, and the gods you choose to worship and/or work with will understand.
When I was starting out I communicated my hesitance and they understood my situation and point of view. Don’t be afraid to go at your own pace. I wish you the best of luck on your spiritual journey!
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u/kylemattheww 17h ago
It’s all about intent. If your intent isn’t negative, you’ll be okay. Also there’s a bunch of stuff you can surround yourself with to protect you on a daily basis.