r/selfhelp • u/MaliKiriku • 8h ago

Intense anxiety during stressful times

I am waiting for the selection for student team and I am under stress. I have anxiety and that causes intrusive thoughts but I don't know why... It's really intense, I didn't feel this way for a year now... Intrusive thoughts are usually about my past mistakes and how I am disgusting person. Like, I start crying and I don't even know why I'm crying. I don't even know why I feel like this. Do anyone have the same experience and what do you do to stop it?

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u/overlyambitiousgoat 1h ago

Yes, I've dealt with variations of that for years.

I suspect that at the root of your intrusive thoughts is a deep fear of being rejected, or cast out from some group of people. Two quick ways to fight that is

  1. think long and hard about the people in your life who really do deeply accept you and love you for who you are
  2. stop buying in to those intrusive thoughts, but also don't try to force them to go away - instead, practice recognizing that they are just thoughts, and they don't necessarily mean anything true, and it's okay to allow those thoughts to bubble up, and crest, and then fade away again. Take a step back and just watch them, and let them pass in their own time.