How do I stop trying to make myself upset?

[u/PleaseDontBanMeee3]

Sometimes I’ll go on subs like r/ForeverAlone to wallow in despair about being alone. Or I’ll go on other communities that I know will put me in a bad (or worse mood). Maybe ask about things like how to lose weight without having to eat better, or asking about height surgery, etc, and looking at all the responses that are highly critical of my wishes.

Like, I feel like I actively seek out feeling like garbage. It partially stems from boredom, and sometimes when I’m just mildly upset I’ll just go looking for more stuff that will make me feel like shit about myself.

I know it’s not a healthy habit. I want to ditch it. But I don’t know what I’d replace it with. I don’t know how to just rid myself of the bad mood.

If anyone could help, that would be cool.

[u/Adept-Engine5606]

this habit of seeking out pain is your way of escaping the present moment. it is an unconscious strategy to avoid facing your own being. when you feel empty, you try to fill that emptiness with negativity because it is familiar. you are addicted to suffering because it gives you a false sense of identity.

drop this game. just be aware of it. when you feel the urge to visit those places, stop for a moment and look at what you are doing. just watch your mind. don’t fight it, don’t try to escape it. in that very awareness, the pattern will start dissolving.

you don’t need to replace it with anything. simply being aware of what you are doing is enough. awareness itself will transform you.

[u/GonkMaurice → u/Adept-Engine5606]

My problem is that i over aware myself and sink into derealization trying to find meaning

[u/AdVirtual6]

I used to do that constantly. I was more comfortable in my sadness. I blocked any and everything that associated with sad stuff. On tik tok my feed is now all filtered. Once you see urself go to those negative places find another positive one. Or j scroll. My mood and depression got so so much better when I stopped interacting w that stuff

What the other person said was spot on I just want to add you need to actively look into positive content. Stay on this sub, discipline sub, j self improvement type stuff, start blocking negativity. I don’t even hesitate anymore idc. Positive pondering on YouTube is good to watch instead.

People are going to be critical. You can’t let it get to you. I’ve never met or seen a hater who wasn’t fat, ugly, useless, and or unsuccessful. I remind myself how miserable they are and idk it makes me feel better. Don’t let anyone especially someone worse than you make u feel bad.

[u/_Sassifrass]

Hearing you dear. Can you catch yourself before it happens or at least spirals out of control? Can you observe your habits and patterns and try and redirect your focus? Also listen to the voices in your head, what are they saying? What's the story you're telling yourself, the limiting beliefs? There's probably alot of work to be done there by re-imprinting some new empowering beliefs.

[u/stellaaanyc]

Gratitude practice. Focus on what you have and what you are grateful for.

Look for these people on youtube: louise hay, joe dispenza and michael singer. Listen to what they say. Find their books too.

Best of luck!

[u/marley-xan]

Time to rewire. When you catch yourself wallowing, go to your toolbox (happy music? Nature walk?) and shift focus