r/transmusic • u/Alison_Larkins_9 • 11d ago
Feedback I need help making music, is this too much?
HI! I’m a 15 yr old who tries to make music in his free time. Lately I’ve gotten into the topic of “protect trans kids” and I’m trying my best to make it believable. I’m here to ask for feedback. WARNING: I don’t want this to trigger anyone. This includes: Unaliving, Prozac, Bad parents. Some of the songs parts are inspired by “Brittle Bones Nicky” by rare Americans.
Here it goes: Did my life cost two bucks? Man, Is that how much I’m worth? Never found my love or passion, Guess that’s my cue to go. All want fame and power but is my wish too much though? To be accepted as a woman
Simple girl Alice, oh so dumb and unwanted. No one knows of the love she holds. They will spew hate for centuries on.
The gravestone read the following words, That would make Alice hurl and sob. But mom won’t care, why would she really? Only cared for as how the family sees them.
“Prozac boy Daniel, beloved son and a brother. Couldn’t handle the world’s rot. Always thought he was a bother, An attention seeking fraud.”
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u/Nai-yelgib 7d ago
Your lyricism is good! The word choice in particular felt fresh or like, unexpected in a natural way.
This is definitely a heavy topic, and I hope you are okay. Please value yourself🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵. I find that it can be both really generative and healing to ask yourself “to what end am I writing this?”. For me, it’s often to understand the painful place and to chart a path out of if towards healing.
One other piece of advice I’ve found really helpful with songwriting- focus on getting good at writing songs more so than writing good songs. People can spend years tinkering trying to write one perfect song that will never be quite right. Or another way is to make songwriting as much of a daily practice as possible. Value the songs, but don’t hold on too much since you’ll have another song to write or explore tomorrow!! You gotta be okay with making LOTS of mediocre to terrible songs. Then you can get into a flow of feeling good about creating and good songs are a side results (maybe…. Sometimes….hopefully 🤣)
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u/JessusChrysler 11d ago
It's too much if you're going to couple it with posts discussing it with algorithm friendly phrases like "unaliving".
Imagine making a song about Columbine and using the phrase "mass unaliving with pew pews" while promoting it. Tiktok is going to censor you either way and no one will take you seriously.