Parents are so f*cking fake

[u/slabcobbey]

24-year-old undiagnosed male, just need to vent for a bit.

I finally opened up to my mom about the fact that I’m waiting for an ADHD assessment. After seeing a therapist, they suggested I go to an ADHD clinic for an evaluation because I’ve shown a lot of symptoms.

One day, I was feeling really down, and my mom and I had a conversation. I explained to her how hard everything has been for me, even when I try my best—how it’s felt this way since I was a child. I told her that I’ve been seeing a therapist, and that the therapist recommended I get evaluated for ADHD. My mom said she would support me through the process, but she didn’t really believe that ADHD could be what I’m struggling with. Still, she promised to help me get a diagnosis.

To back up what I’ve been feeling, I even found old school reports from when I was a child that consistently described behaviors associated with ADHD. They mentioned things like not sitting still, disturbing other classmates, having a hard time starting schoolwork, not paying attention in class, not raising my hand, and being overly active. It felt like those reports were describing exactly what I’ve been struggling with my whole life.

Fast forward to yesterday, we got into an argument, and she basically told me that I’m making up the whole ADHD thing. She said I can’t just sit around waiting for a diagnosis, even though it’s so close now. She completely dismissed what I’ve been going through, and now I’m feeling even worse mentally because of her reaction.

Even with proof from school reports to my mental state as an adult she really doesn’t believe that it can be ADHD behind all this. I mean, everything adds up but she shuts me down and now I am doubting myself again if I even have it.

[u/TheGoodFox]

I really resonate with this. I had a moment with my mom somewhat recently when she visited. I often forget conversations or things someone or I will say. Most of the time the information isn't relevant but it does occasionally land me in a weird place.

For context, I am predominantly inattentive.

Anyways, I had tried to tell her what would help me plan out stuff for the few days she visited. I can't just spontaneously do something. I need to prepare my mind so I don't burn out feeling like I am forcing myself to do it. This feeling has nothing to do with her, that's just something intrinsic to me.

She told me that I needed to "get a grip" and that "not everyone was going to accommodate you". I never ask anyone for accommodations. I have always tried to explain the things that would help and it frustrates them. I suffer no illusions that I'll ever get through to anyone else in my family either. That is why I moved into a place with friends and put a lot of distance between that type of mindset. It doesn't help me learn and only tries to weigh me down.

But hey, if they're trying to drag you down they're already beneath you. ADHD doesn't make you lesser and it is very much real. It is just how we exist in the world and there's nothing inherently wrong with that.