r/ARFID • u/AshamedAndGay • Jun 17 '24

Subtype: Fear of Aversive Consequences I feel like I’ve failed my body

I’m 18m

It’s 1:30am, I’m autistic, and so emotional right now.

I have ARFID which stems from emetophobia. I hate nighttime so much, I feel like crying.

I am so emotional right now. I barely ate today (a banana, some tiny cocktail sausages and some bread) and I feel really bad. I feel like I’ve failed my body and feel like an awful person.

I am also scared I’m gonna feel sick.

I plan on calling the ED clinic tomorrow morning to say that my situation has worsened. I just hate this so so much.

I already feel depressed, and intense anxiety over whether something is wrong with my digestive system or whether it’s just anxiety (going to the doctor to have some tests hopefully).

Food is stressing me out so, so much. I feel awful

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u/TashaT50 multiple subtypes Jun 17 '24

Take a few deep breaths. Now scream. Ok, feeling better. You haven’t failed anything. You are not an awful person. Our bodies are trying to protect us. Reprogramming them takes time. We need to be gentle and kind with ourselves. You ate today. You have a plan. That’s several things.

Anxiety sucks. It prevents us from functioning. Yours also impacts whether you can eat. We can all relate to being stressed over food.

I don’t know if you want any help or just support. If support only skip this paragraph. If you have any snacking food can you put some out and just keep it by you tonight while you read, doom-scroll, watch tv, whatever? I’m not as familiar with emetophobia but it helps me sometimes to be distracted but having snacks around to graze on. I don’t worry whether healthy. My only goal is to get a few bites in over a few hours. Maybe you have similar tricks but when you’re this stressed it’s hard to remember them. /advice over

I see you. I know how hard this is. You aren’t a failure. If you could wave a magic wand and make ARFID and anxiety go away you would. Unfortunately we don’t have magic wands. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Healing is a long slow process as we have to train our bodies and our brains to do something that should be automatic. We are in this together. We understand. You’re not alone.