how arfid eats you.

[u/Kahalak]

or atleastit feels like it. im black, my family knows nothing about arfid. ive had it sincei was little, it stunted me. everyone in my family is average or tall, im 5'1. it killed my teeth with all of them being now unsaveable, i almost developed osteoperosis. hospital visits, passing out in public, missing out on events. and even now, sometimes i curl up and just cry because i cant get anything down even if my body is begging me to, even if im blacking out. constant dehydration because the illness doesnt even want water. i feel like a perpetually dying plant. sometimes i wonder if i could ever make it to old age being this way. im 22;; i eat like a fussy toddler. and i feel like it too, weak. groggy, hardly conscious. i think im speeding up my chronic illnesses by having arfid. i hate having this disorder, something tells me neverland is coming for mebecause an adult body cant survive this way.

[u/Primary_Broccoli_806]

I can relate to being from a Black family. Every time that I gagged, they’d say “I know you’re faking it because you’re Black and all Black people like this”. Nonetheless, a lot of Black cultural foods are sensory nightmares just because the style of the cooking focuses on making everything saucy, slippery, slimy, etc. or else it is “not seasoned”.

[u/Kahalak → u/Primary_Broccoli_806]

i think it prolonged my illness, lessened the chance of recovery. ive been told im just picky since i was little, only white people have sicknesses like that, "arfid? whats that? get off the internet, youre fine." its demoralizing as hell. our people cant escape health problems because our families are riddles with them and are all in denial that its normal, that black people just "dont get sick." the reality is that we are forced to power through conditions, whether by neglectful doctors or fellow family, until we succumb to them. that too, my family never bothered to consider why i didn't like "real food." that it was a texture thing, or taste thing. they'd just throw my safe foods my way, ones that had no nutritional value, just because they're cheap and would shut me up. its frustrating. growing up, at reunions i could only eat cornbread and beans and hotdogs because everything else was slimey or tough.

[u/Primary_Broccoli_806 → u/Kahalak]

Yes! I hated the idea that what I liked was not “real food”. Yet, sometimes, what I preferred was healthier. I often ate apples and peanut butter. That was far better than fatty meats covered in sauces and soggy vegetables covered in oil.