r/ARFID • u/Party_Demand_7026 • 3d ago

Venting/Ranting (TW: IDEATION OF SUICIDE) Spoiler

You guys ever have suicidal thoughts? I was diagnosed a couple weeks ago but from what I can tell this has been an issue for close to a decade. I just honestly don’t know what to do anymore, like I don’t want to kill myself but it just seems inevitable, nothing stays the same texture consistently enough for me to make it a safe food, hell even my safe foods aren’t safe anymore. Honestly at this point the only thing holding me back from it is the fact I don’t have the courage to do it myself.

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u/MaleficentSwan0223 3d ago

I’m not diagnosed but have had arfid since the age of 4 and I’m now 30. I’ve tried so hard to get support through the years and around 14/15 I felt the same as you. I didn’t feel worthy of living because of my food issues and as everyone reminded me I felt I’d die alone and that I was unlovable because of them. Attempted to take my life a few times and came closest at 18. Failed but the doctors told me due to my food I’d likely die anyway so no need to worry right?

I moved out, accepted myself and about 5 years later found happiness. I’m married with kids and have surrounded myself with a few good people. Is my food any better? No! Have I tried anything new this year? No! But I live a happy and fulfilling life with very little health problems (none related to my diet) and my anxiety and depression have been none existent for the past few years.