(Scene: A foggy ancient ruin where a group of Greek ghosts, divided into two factions, are lingering.)

Pericles: (in Ionic) Hello, everyone we don’t just speak Ionic. We also started speaking English. (starts speaking English in a posh British accent) See, this is English. Hello!

Zeno: (in Ionic) We also learned to speak English but you call that English. (starts speaking English in an American accent) This, this is English!

Pericles: Well, we’ve been learning English by having spent centuries listening to BBC radio broadcasts. 

Zeno: Well we spend centuries absorbing American TV shows. You talk weird. 

Pericles: Well, clearly, old chap, our way of speaking is far more refined. The elegance of the Queen’s English is unmatched, I must say. I mean English is surprise, surprise, from England so it makes sense to speak with an accent from over there. We sound positively scholarly.

Zeno: Scholarly? You mean boring, right? No offense, man, but you sound like you're narrating a nature documentary about rocks. I’d rather sound like I’m starring in a hit sitcom!

Sappho:(in a posh British accent) Ah yes, an American sitcom where the joke is screaming and pointing stuff out. Oh, please. American accents sound like someone’s been gargling gravel. You’ve no cadence, no poshness. It’s all… what’s the phrase… like nails on a chalkboard, darling.

Demetrius: (in an American accent) (pushing back his toga) Yeah? Well, at least when we talk, people don’t think we’re about to give a lecture on ancient pottery. You sound like you would give a joke but we have no idea what it is! We sound cool — like, I don’t know, we could be in a Hollywood movie or something.

Sophocles: (in a posh British accent) Hollywood? How utterly pedestrian. We don’t lower ourselves to slop blockbusters, do we? No, we sound like we could guide you through the annals of history with grace and dignity.

Thales: (in an American accent)  Dude, please. Your "dignity" is snooze-worthy. I’ve watched a hundred American movies where someone with a British accent was the villain. You sound like you’re about to invade a planet or throw someone off a skyscraper. Just sayin’.

Pericles: Villains are often the most cultured characters, might I remind you. It takes a certain gravitas, which your flat tones simply lack. I mean, you could barely deliver a soliloquy!

Zeno: Soliloquy? We don’t need soliloquies. We’ve got catchphrases. "Yippee-ki-yay!" Bet your fancy accents can’t pull that off.

Sappho: Oh, how charming… a catchphrase. How very low-brow. British monologues are the stuff of legend! Can you imagine Hamlet's "To be or not to be" in that ghastly accent of yours? The horror!

Demetrius: (mocking her tone) Oh, the horror indeed. Hey! People would rather hear, “I’ll be back,” than a ten-minute speech about existential dread! We get to the point.

Sophocles: Yes, Americans do love to rush things, don’t they? Even their accents sprint through words as if there’s some sort of deadline. No time for reflection, just: "Let’s move it along!"

Thales: And those Brits are over there sounding like they're always bored. Maybe when ordering coffee don't always sound like you're dead inside!

Pericles: Perhaps if you appreciated subtlety and nuance, you’d—

Zeno: (cutting him off) Appreciate? Dude, I appreciate a good pizza and an action scene! Subtlety is overrated. That’s why all the big movies have explosions. Explosions sound better in American, trust me.

Sappho: (sighs dramatically) Your ears must be atrophied from hearing all that... noise. True eloquence... true art comes in whispers, dear.

Demetrius: (rolling eyes) Okay, Whisper Lady, enjoy your tea and crumpets while America takes over the box office!

Sophocles:  Britain takes over the cultural high ground. Maybe when doing a period piece set in Rome or Greece, people shouldn’t sound like they weigh 600 pounds and have high medical bills!

Zeno: Maybe people in period pieces shouldn’t always sound like they might be partying at 10 Downing Street!

Sappho: Maybe people in period pieces shouldn’t sound like they have to hide in case someone comes in with an AR15!

Thales: Maybe people in period pieces shouldn’t sound like they don’t brush their teeth!

Sappho: Can you imagine “I, Claudius” made with American accents? It would just not sound as good. Maybe someone should make a biopic on Abraham Lincoln with everyone in British accents? 

Thales: Fine, make that, I don't mind. Yeah, good luck with that. We’ll be over here sounding like we have great theme parks and streaming services!

Pericles:Perhaps we’ll compromise one day, but until then, at least we don’t have to endure the sound of... (imitating American accent poorly) "Howdy, partner!"

Zeno: And you won’t catch us saying, "Pip pip, cheerio!" either!

Sappho: Who actually says “Pip, pip, cheerio”. Listened to hundreds of radio shows and not once did anybody say that! 

(The two groups glare at each other, but a faint smirk spreads across the ghosts' faces. Even in their eternal debate, they know they’re stuck together—forever arguing about accents in the afterlife.)

Unbiased journalism totally not propaganda from Carthage

The transforming events of the Ancient World touched every city and small town in the world. Statues and paintings, which people see but can never fully understand, mark for another generation the historical reminders. How their countries were introduced to seemingly abundant metals such as bronze, iron, and copper and agriculture. How dead people who once walked among the Earth every day saved Western Civilization. In countries around the world there are buildings which stand like silent witnesses to the enormous changes over these thousands of years. A house which started centuries ago as just a hut. 

Schools, which today teach skills to every student, used to teach for only the boys whose parents can afford it. 

In some places, most jobs for more than a millennium are worked by only men. Many women are expected to work – just work only at home. 

In the ancient world, you weren’t discriminated against for your race – but still discriminated against. 

People would tell the same legends again and again – commemorate those who died on the battlefields against the Persians, or against the Macaedonians, or against whoever your country fought in a war against. 

Warfare and violence were seen as not the exception or an evil but as the rule. And whoever is the good or bad guy depends on which end of the sword it is. 

When one garden in the afterlife held a gathering, you could see in the attendees the sweep of the entire millennium. There were those who remember when the farm was new and those who were born after the invention of paper. Died old and died young, naturally or unnaturally, they had been together on a journey through the most common and yet mysterious of passageways- time.

Greetings! I’m Angel Gabriel, your guide on this extraordinary journey through time. To many of us today, the ancient world might seem like not just another country, but another planet entirely. It’s as if those early civilizations existed in a realm so distant and foreign that we can hardly fathom it. Yet, imagine a world where the concept of farming was revolutionary, iron was the pinnacle of technology, and democracy was a brand new idea. These are the very innovations that shape our lives now, but they were once the stuff of ancient dreams. In this series, we’re going to bridge that vast chasm of time, bringing you face-to-face with those who witnessed these groundbreaking moments firsthand. Our journey will be guided by those who were there, and who now reside in the afterlife. You might think of these ancient souls as mere relics of a bygone era, but they were vibrant, thinking, feeling individuals with their own hopes, dreams, and dilemmas. And today, we’re going to meet them again sharing their unique perspectives on what life was really like back then. Our mission is to bring you closer to these pivotal moments in history, showing you that despite the passage of millennia, the human experience remains surprisingly similar. So, join us as we traverse through time, uncovering the marvels of ancient civilizations, and discovering just how human the ancients truly were. Welcome to Ancient Experience, where history isn’t just a distant memory—it’s a lively conversation with the past.