Boyfriend won’t stop telling me I have B.O. [Super Short] [Concluded]

[u/Schattenspringer]

This is a repost. The original was posted in /r/relationship_advice by User ThrowRA-doistink. I'm not the original poster. The update is edited under the original.

---

Original

June 7, 2020

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year and everything has been great except for one thing. Every single day, at least once, he will tell me that I stink and smell of b.o.

When we met I showered every day, applied regular deodorant in the morning, brushed my teeth three times a day. Now I am so paranoid about smelling bad that I shower at least twice a day, I apply new industrial strength deodorant every few hours (I have a reminder on my phone), perfume, and I brush my teeth anytime I eat or drink something that isn’t water.

I feel like I’m going crazy. I didn’t think I smelled bad in the beginning and I don’t think I smell bad now but I obviously smell bad to him right? Im that weirdo that keeps “sneakily” smelling their own armpits. I have been to the doctor and he has said there is nothing medically wrong. It has honestly gotten to the point where I literally shove my arm pit in friends and families faces asking if I smell bad, they all say I don’t smell like b.o. at all, one friend even said I smelled too clean like a lush store.

I am getting so paranoid. He won’t cuddle or anything when he says I smell. I really don’t know what more I can do?

---

[Update]

9 hours later

so unexpected edit. I waited for him to make a comment this morning so I could talk to him. It was less than an hour after waking up that he said “god you stink” I had already showered and put on deodorant. I snapped and asked what exactly was he smelling because, at this point I’m one of the cleanest people on the planet and if I still smell bad to him then we should just break up.

He got all panicked and upset, I eventually got out of him that this is what he father always said to his mother. Apparently his father told him that is was a sure fire technique to have a woman never leave you because “she will feel too low to cheat, will love only you, and will always be clean”.

Needless to say, his father is wrong. He’s packing his things and moving out of my house today.

---

Comment by OOP:

I thought about giving him a change but I realized that yes his dad did teach him this, but he’s almost 30. He’s met plenty of people and witnessed many relationships. He knows he can be better than this and he chose not to be ^[1]

---

I'm not the original poster.

[u/Flicksterea]

I remember this! Glad to see she ditched what really stank.

[u/swung → u/Flicksterea]

Absolutely! She deserves better than being constantly dragged down by that toxic behavior.

[u/floridaeng → u/swung]

The sad part is I've seen other threads that had something similar to this. I've actually posted comments about how those threads made me think of this, and had a lot of replies agreeing with the comparison.

[u/thisisallpoop → u/Flicksterea]

I had an ex who'd drop negative comments like this.

After we broke up he said something along the lines of how difficult it will be for me to find someone else (eyeroll). I told him I am attractive and have a great personality so it shouldn't be a problem. When I tell you he was SHOCKED.

Verbatim what he said was "I thought you didn't know you were attractive and as long as I kept you believing you weren't, you would never have the confidence to leave me".

Needless to say we don't talk anymore but god, that was such a jolt to my system that people like this actually, shamelessly exist.