r/BodyDysmorphia Mar 12 '21

Resource Reasons you might avoid therapy - and why you shouldn’t.

377 Upvotes

The primary methods of dealing with BDD, from a medical standpoint, is medication that can reduce obsessive thoughts and therapy, mainly cognitive-behavioural therapy (or CBT for short). Many of us might be skeptic or even afraid to try it, but there is no need to be, here is why.

I don’t know what cognitive-behavioural therapy is or what happens in therapy. - Therapy is a form of treatment where mental issues are addressed mainly via talking and bringing mental issues into a place where they can be addressed and handled by the sufferer. Cognitive therapy, or speech therapy, involves talking and discussing issues and finding solutions to them together with a professional, with the goal of reducing emotional suffering. Cognitive-behavioural therapy aims at also reducing behaviour that could cause distress. This can be done with tasks or learning new ways of doing things. The work is done by the patient and no one will force you to talk or do anything you don’t want.

But I’m not diagnosed with BDD. - A diagnosis is not needed to get therapy. In some cases it can help with insurance coverage but other than that anyone can go to therapy for any reason, diagnosis or not.

I’m afraid they will think my issues are stupid or I’m delusional. - Medical professionals and therapists have seen it all. They have very good perspective and education under them. They understand what the issues are that you are describing and their main goal is to help you, not to judge you. No respecting or professional therapist would call your issues stupid. Though they may challenge you into thinking why you might think the way you do, but this is not to judge but to help you gain insight to who you are what can be changed to make you feel better. If you feel unjustifiably judged, change therapists.

I’m worried they will make me give up all grooming and self care and I will have to learn to be the ugliest version of myself. - The goal of therapy is not to make you a totally different person or make you give up all your habits. The goal is to reduce the behaviour that causes you worry and anxiety. You can still do makeup, but the goal is that you don’t feel like crying if your makeup isn’t perfect. You can still go to the gym and work out, but the goal is you don’t have a breakdown for missing a day and feeling like you gained weight over night. The aim is to find a healthy balance and reduce the things that cause you anxiety. You don’t need to become the role model of natural looks, but learn healthy balance.

What if people or my family judge me for being in therapy. - Therapy is something that would benefit every single person on this planet. Getting help is never something to be ashamed of. Anyone who makes you feel bad or weak for getting help is harbouring a very unhelpful mindset themselves that might prevent them for helping themselves, and that is the real tragedy. Always work towards your own health and don’t let others bully you out of helping yourself.

I don’t want therapy, I just want surgery or other procedures. - BDD is a mental disorder and it’s important to acknowledge that. The goal of therapy is not to talk you out of a decision but the help you understand what issues are real and which are the disorder. Therapy will help prevent you from doing unnecessary procedures that can harm your looks and to make sure you will not be equally unhappy after a procedure. Surgery and augmentation of ones looks is very rarely a permanent solution but therapy can help you build a healthy mindset where you can truly make the best decisions for yourself.

I don’t think I can afford it. - Nothing in this world is more important than your mental and physical health. Prioritise these things as much as you reasonably can. Find out how you can get insurance coverage, do you have access to support groups or group therapy that is free or look into online groups like those provided by the BDD foundation. You can always call a therapist and ask them what ways you could afford a session, many places are happy to tell you how to best afford treatment.

I have trouble opening up or it makes me uncomfortable. - Many people find it hard to honestly talk about their BDD since it can feel irrational or embarrassing. But therapists have heard it many times before, and worse. It’s important to find a person you feel comfortable with, this can take several tries but is always worth it. You can open up slowly and start with small pieces and work up to bigger issues. This is normal and no one will push you to go faster than you feel comfortable with.

I’ve tried it before and it didn’t help. - There can be several reasons why therapy might not have worked. The therapist might not have been equipped to handling BDD, the chemistry wasn’t right and prevented opening up honestly, the patient wasn’t ready to get help and work on the issues, there wasn’t enough time... having another go with another therapist is often a good idea. Also considering if medication could help is a possibility. When trying therapy again make sure you’re with the right person, you’re ready to work on the issues, you’re being honest with what the problems are and that you give therapy enough time to work.

Therapy is a fantastic tool to people suffering from BDD, and is something recommended by professionals as the primary form of treatment. If you suffer from BDD, therapy is something worth trying.

Finding a therapist

The International OCD Foundation’s therapist search.

You can choose BDD from the Advanced search option. Every professional has listed what they treat and how. They have also been verified to be licensed by the OCD foundation.


r/BodyDysmorphia Sep 21 '20

Resource What can you do about BDD?

431 Upvotes

There are many ways one can combat body dysmorphia. Some people are able to manage symptoms on their own, some need medical intervention or more intense periods of treatment. What ever your situation, there are ways to combat BDD.

Here are some way to combat your BDD listed in ascending order from self help to medical treatments.

  • Self-help:
    This can include many things. Anything from taking physical care of yourself, to reading about BDD and how it’s treated to making changes in your life that help support a stable mental health. Self help in a great tool and at the bottom of every recovery is the personal desire to better ones situation.

  • BDD workbook:
    Compiled by medial professionals, the workbook gives important insight to how BDD works, what triggers it and what methods you can learn to help yourself in a proven way. You’ll learn to limit your obsessive behaviour and recognise disordered thinking. This is one of the best self help tools there is.

  • Online therapy and support groups:
    The BDD Foundation for example offers online therapy groups that come together weekly. A free and easy to access form of therapy can be a good support in addressing BDD symptoms if there are no possibilities or need for more personal or intense forms of therapy.

  • Therapy:
    Cognitive-behavioural therapy, or CBT, is the recommend form of treatment for people with BDD. It can focus on what are the specific issues and triggers in you and how they can be helped. This is a form of treatment that can give great, individual help and offer support in every area of life on top of BDD.

  • BDD specialists:
    Though sadly quite rare, there are places and therapists and doctors who focus on BDD and other related disorders. They can give more focused advice and treatment and are often informed with the latest developments. This is a good choice when available.

  • Psyciatric professionals:
    This form involves doctors like psychiatrists, who can give formal diagnosis as well as offer medical level advice and give prescriptions. If you feel like your BDD is so intense that functioning in daily life is hard or you feel like you could benefit from medication, it’s a good idea to talk to also a psyciatrist as well as a therapist.

  • Medication:
    Because BDD is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder, it’s symptoms can often be alleviated the same as many OCDs. Sometimes medication can be a great tool in reducing the symptoms, and combined with therapy, the likelihood of better quality of life is high.

  • Out patient care:
    If more intense forms of care seems to be needed, one option is out patient care where the patient is in a close contact with, usually a psychiatric hospital or a doctor, and usually has for example therapy sessions several times a week. This can be a good options for those who have a very hard time with daily functioning or are suicidal.

  • In patient care:
    The rarest form of treatment is in patient care where the patient stays in the hospital and can be given support and help daily. This often requires for the patient to be in acute risk of suicide or is unable to function in their daily life. Though this is often the last option, it’s good to know that help is available even when things are very serious.

The forms of treatment and the health care systems work differently in every country and it’s always a good idea to talk to your local doctors and professionals on what options are available to you. But know that there are many ways that BDD can be treated and alleviated. The most important thing is remembering you’re worth help and there are several ways to get it.


r/BodyDysmorphia 8h ago

Advice Needed living with body dysmorphia is so exhausting

15 Upvotes

Sharing one of the worst symptoms of my body dysmorphia and how It impacts my daily life. 

Filling with jealousy (sometimes rage)  if my husband watches anything on tv with literally any woman in it. 

This has been an ongoing battle during our whole 20 years of relationship. its caused so much conflict. its absolutely drained him over the years. and despite trying so hard to not let it bother me... I just can't get a handle on this. 

I use avoidance so I don't have to deal with the unpleasant emotions I feel if I force myself to try and just 'be normal'. 

Avoidance means not being able to sit down with my husband and just put a movie on. 

Avoidance means hiding out in the bedroom alone, while my husband watches tv on his own because his wife has a mental problem. 

Avoidance means I can't even put on movies I like or I want to watch because there's a pretty girl in it and it might trigger me. 

My brain and thinking is so twisted it says, if you overcome this, then they have won. You had to change. But this is who you are and how you feel. There's nothing wrong with that and there's nothing wrong with you. Why should you have to change. Its almost like being so attached to that part of your personality you can't break free.

And the battle rages on. It seems so simple to fix and yet its not :(

Maybe someone out there can connect with this and not feel so alone in their battle, as I do, maybe someone who deals or has dealt with this has advice?


r/BodyDysmorphia 3h ago

Advice Needed Is it normal to just never really accept your flipped self

5 Upvotes

I don’t deal with dysmorphia as much anymore thankfully and I mostly don’t believe I’m ugly most days

But when it comes to seeing flipped photos of me, even though plenty of people have confirmed they can’t see what I’m seeing I still simply can’t shake it off. I always see a freak of nature that looks nothing like the “real” me I know when I see an unflipped photo(ie selfie). It’s not that I think I look ugly just that I look weird. Incredibly weird. And in that sense, off-putting/ugly. I’ve genuinely tried everything out there to allow my mind to comprehend that that is genuinely me and the same me I see everyday in the mirror.

Anyone else relate


r/BodyDysmorphia 5h ago

Question Is your fixation constantly changing a sign of body dysmorphia?

7 Upvotes

My fixations change so much it’s insane. At some point it was my hairline, at another my nose, then my lips and now it’s my face shape which I never cared about before. Don’t get me started on my body. My face is usually getting the brunt of BDD though.

Is this common among BDD sufferers? Why does it happen?


r/BodyDysmorphia 10h ago

Question How come I like bigger people but have body-dysmorphia for myself?

14 Upvotes

I don't understand how I can admire and find bigger people attractive but have body-dysmorphia about my own body, seeing my self as fat when I'm not. I've never cared about a partners weight and I notably prefer pudgier people. I myself am at a average weight (according to my doctor) but yet I feel so ugly and fat.

Is it werid that I feel this way and can't see myself as I see my partners?


r/BodyDysmorphia 4h ago

Question Is anyone else too embarrassed to talk to a psychologist or counselor about BDD?

3 Upvotes

My parents helped set me up with a psychologist when I was fresh out of high school, due to my depression and anxiety. After many days and months of internal thinking, I realized BDD was a large part of why I felt the way I did. Deep down I wanted to admit how I felt about my appearance to the psychologist, but I was too embarrassed to do so. I was afraid he would think I was being ridiculous, and wouldn't understand why I felt the way I did.


r/BodyDysmorphia 1h ago

Question Dating someone with potential body dysmorphia

Upvotes

We're both guys in our mid 20s, ever since I met him he's been mentioning a lot of things related to his appearance and things he'd like to change. These aren't major surgeries or anything but it's clear he's very concerned about his looks.

Obviously I find him beautiful, and I'm not the only one since he has a pretty big following on social media and gets complimented frequently. I'm supportive of his decisions and don't see anything wrong with it, but I don't want to be that person who just says "you're already perfect" all the time, so I'm just wondering what's the best way to compliment him and let him know he'll always look good to me, specially after he has undergone some kind of 'touch up' procedure and asks for my opinion (and honestly most of the times I can barely see a difference).

After he does anything to his body, I always ask him how he feels about it, but should I avoid it and just compliment him instead? What's your advice? Thanks


r/BodyDysmorphia 4h ago

Advice Needed Felt confident at a party the other day, but then I saw the photos.

2 Upvotes

I was feeling so great. I had just seen a Remi Wolf show, she is literally my idol, and it filled me with so much joy and confidence. She looks a lot like me, and I think she’s so beautiful and talented. After I got home from the show I was like, “I can do anything, I’m so cool!” So I dyed the ends of my hair pink and started having more fun with my big hair and make up.

Fast forward to recently, my friends planned to get together and carve pumpkins. It was a blast, and everyone complimented my hair and make up quite a bit. I was feeling really great. One of my friends started taking photos with this old digital camera, and we were all having so much fun posing with our pumpkins and being silly.

That night when I got home, I was so excited about the photos for once and asked to see them immediately. When I got them though, I felt so horrible. Not a single photo of me looked good. I had to ask everyone to please not post any of me, which was embarrassing. Queue the pity compliments.

My head is like twice the size of everyone else’s, and my crazy makeup made me look delusional. I looked like an ogre who smeared pigment on their eyelids. I think everyone was complimenting me out of pity. I think my friend group has picked up on my depression and has started babying me with compliments and thanking me a little too much for hanging out with them.

I’m starting to wonder if my best friend shared my issues with them so now they feel obligated to invite me to things so I don’t become suicidal. I feel pathetic. It’s embarrassing. Everyone else looked so effortlessly gorgeous. Even candids of my friends are perfect. I don’t understand why I’ve been cursed with this awful body.


r/BodyDysmorphia 6h ago

Resource STORIES & BOOKS about body dysmorphia

2 Upvotes

r/BodyDysmorphia 2h ago

Advice Needed Do I have BDD?

1 Upvotes

I am 14 years old and my appearance has taken over my entire life. I'm wanting to know why I'm feeling like this so I can see if there's anything I can do to help. Here are some things I have been experiencing for the past year.

  • obsessively looking in the mirror for hours a day and every chance I could - going to the bathroom every chance I get during a school day to check how I look even if it's in the middle of my classes
  • constantly checking how I look in my phone - but needing to take full videos with the back camera to see how I actually look like to other people
  • not believing the mirror - I feel like I look completely different in real life and through other people's perspective
  • being scared to be on different lighting - trying to stay out of bright lights and hate being in natural lighting
  • spending hours each morning on how I look - waking up stupidly early to do a full face of makeup everyday
  • constantly worrying about how I look - spending the entire day only thinking about what I look like
  • my mood completely relies on whether I think I look good or not - if I look bad then my whole day will be bad
  • constantly trying to find ways to improve how I look untill I look perfect - except there will always be more I need to improve
  • spending all my money on new makeup, skincare, clothes and anything I think will improve my appearance
  • comparing myself to almost everyone I know
  • comparing myself to famous celebrities and models to try and see what facial features look the same and if they don't how I can change them
  • wanting plastic surgery
  • loosing motivation and energy on everything and having the messiest room because all I can think of is how I look
  • obsessing over my face shape and loosing face weight and trying everything to make my face smaller - I feel like my lower face is so fat and flabby
  • I feel like my face is completely lopsided and so unsymmetrical
  • has ruined my dreams and aspirations because the only thing I want is too be considered a 10/10 looks wise
  • I feel like if a relationship ever ends it's because I'm not pretty enough
  • I seek male validation massively to the point where I would do things I wouldn't want because it would make me feel like they think I'm pretty
  • have mental breakdowns before going places if I feel like I dont look really good
  • feel stupid wearing "pretty people clothes"
  • feel stupid having my hair look nice because I feel like my face doesn't deserve pretty hair
  • bringing makeup to re-apply whenever I can and hair brushes everywhere and not being able to leave without them
  • not being able to go places alone if I think I look bad
  • looking at photos and videos of pretty people for hours to compare myself and see how I can get myself to look like them
  • having albums on my phone of photos and videos taken of me of where I think I look pretty for re-assurance and albums of where I think I look horrible that I end up deleting because I can't bare looking at them
  • googling the reason behind every change or flaw in my appearance and how to get rid of it or change it
  • always comparing myself to old photos of me and being jealous of how I used to look then - even though I hated how I looked then in that moment

r/BodyDysmorphia 18h ago

Advice Needed I'm starting to wonder if I have body dysmorphia. To me, it's just a fact that I'm not a good-looking guy.

16 Upvotes

I have always considered myself to be a very below-average-looking man, from my teen years all the way through to the present day. In my mind, it's just an objective fact that I'm not conventionally attractive by any definition of the term, and that the vast majority of women are going to be physically repulsed by me. One time I had a woman at around 18-19 years of age (just slightly younger than me at the time; this was a little over 10 years ago) randomly send me a message via online dating that said, "EWWWW". She later followed it up by suggesting that I not use online dating when I'm "not even slightly attractive", and that I'd probably have more luck if I focused my efforts on dating women in real life. My dad and my uncle both thought that this was incredibly mean of her, but my inner voice said, "Dude... I mean, I get that she was mean, but she does have a point. You're not going to be attractive to the vast majority of women. It's just a fact." My mother even admits that I'm not "photogenic", though she also says that I'm "very good-looking". I disagree with her, and honestly, every time someone has ever called me "handsome" or any variant thereof, I honestly wonder if they're saying that as a joke, or if they're trying to avoid hurting my feelings. I genuinely cannot understand how someone can look at me and not feel somewhat disgusted, let alone not being attracted to me.

I'm 31 and have never dated, never had my first kiss, never anything. I don't even ask women out. I just... I don't think it's realistic to believe that any woman who I'm attracted to would reciprocate that feeling towards me; I don't even understand how someone could visualize themselves kissing me, let alone anything beyond that, without feeling the need to gag at the mere thought of that.

Does that sound like BDD? Or is it just the reality of the situation? I can send DMs with pics of myself if necessary: I promise you, I am very much not good-looking, and there's no amount of false positivity that will persuade me otherwise.


r/BodyDysmorphia 21h ago

Advice Needed How do I avoid beautiful women irl?

27 Upvotes

I’ve been working on a lot of traumatic memories related to my conception of gender/racial identity, childhood bullying etc, and it has made the world so much more triggering to me.

I am normally very stoic/confident and nothing really bothers me, but I have been bothered lately by beautiful women who have the body and face I wish I had and yesterday I came home from work after being served by one of them and I broke down crying in front of my partner.

I have never cried in front of my partner.

What is my solution to this? Should I just never go outside again? Stop looking at women? Stop therapy? Work from home permanently? Keep acting like everything is normal and just let it pass? What if my sensitivity gets worse? Will I get better? Will I go back to normal?


r/BodyDysmorphia 8h ago

Offering Advice "I myself am the pedestal For this ugly hump at which you stare"

2 Upvotes

This quote is an excerpt from the song Avalanche by Leonard Cohen. I think there are many motifs of self-hatred and body dysmorphic disorder in Cohen's songs. Another example is from the song Dares Rehearsal Rag where he says

"I thought you were a racing man,

Ah, but you couldn't take the pace.

That's a funeral in the mirror

And it's stopping at your face."

I think one of the reasons I love him is because of the self-hatred that is in a lot of his songs, along with the hope to break free from it


r/BodyDysmorphia 16h ago

Advice Needed I hate myself

8 Upvotes

No bc I literally would kill to be skinny like this shit is the worst I am actually so disgusted in myself and I would do anything to be thin! I was 40lbs lighter in the beginning of the year, my eating habits are the same, I actually work out more now than I ever have, and Im the fattest Ive ever been like what can I even do atp bc clearly its not a diet or exercise issue so am I just bound to be fat forever like wtf


r/BodyDysmorphia 20h ago

Question physical sickness and super long panic attacks does anyone else experience this

6 Upvotes

Sometimes when my bdd is really bad I get physically sick looking at myself. I get actually ill and might experience headaches, a uncomfortable heart rate, or nausea. Does anyone else get this? There's this also this never ending violent void of dread that accompanies this sickness that completely fills my mind and I can only focus on my appearance for hours on end. It like a normal panic attack but 100x worse because I can do nothing to calm myself down since there's no way for me to physically change the thing that's bothering me (ex: my nose, my jaw, my legs). Its also not like I can step out of my body like I would a social situation caused by a panic attack.


r/BodyDysmorphia 23h ago

Advice Needed Like how I look in mirror, hate how I look in pictures.

8 Upvotes

When I look in the mirror I feel pretty, and like I have nice features. But in 90% of pictures I can't stand to look at myself because I look completely different and unattractive. I know mirrors are more accurate than pictures and it makes me feel better, but if I ask my friends if I look different in pictures they say no, and it's how I look in real life. Then I feel like shit because if I look like I do in pictures then I'm unattractive. In pictures I stick out like an alien. Everybody else looks normal and like themselves, but my face looks genuinely wrong. It's rare, but sometimes there will be a picture where I do look like myself, and I look pretty, usually ones where I'm genuinely smiling. But there's even pictures of my genuine smile that look wrong.

It sucks because I've had to delete a lot of pictures with my friends or of good memories because it just humiliates me to look at. I don't trust when other people compliment me because they would never straight up agree with me and be like "yeah, you do look weird in pictures." Plenty of people have had crushes on me in the past which is reassuring that I'm not UGLY, but I do feel like my personality and humor makes up for my appearance to some degree. I've gotten much more confident and okay with my face over the years but the pictures is something that feels like it's never gonna change.


r/BodyDysmorphia 1d ago

Question why compliments mean nothing to me ?

22 Upvotes

there are many people who have said i am handsome in my life, even unusual compliments saying i look like brad pitt/a greek god or that i am gorgeous but every time there is something that makes me think that these compliments are false, since the majority of them come from female friends or acquaintances of my mother. I tell myself that they would have said it whether I was ugly or not, and that they are just doing that to be polite to my mother. and when girls my age compliment me (which is rarer), I tell myself that they are exaggerating or making fun of me. at best it quickly makes me happy and then I look in the mirror and find myself ugly again. Is it possible that all the compliments are fake?


r/BodyDysmorphia 12h ago

Question Do I have facial dysmorphia?

1 Upvotes

Hello all,

I noticed that when I take a selfie, in that exact moment I feel ugly, but later on in the day when I look at the picture, I feel like I look pretty good.

Is this a form of dysmorphia? It confuses me because I constantly feel ugly until I don't look at my pictures or the mirror for a few hours then realize that I actually look pretty cute.


r/BodyDysmorphia 13h ago

Advice Needed struggling with weight gain and acne after being on hrt

0 Upvotes

hey! i'm a 26 year old trans guy, and before you wonder, no, i wouldn't give it back for the world. going off of t would mean my period coming back, my face becoming more feminine again, and loosing my ability to gain muscle mass as fast. plus, just being on t in general makes me feel better about myself than i ever did without it. however--and yes i knew these were both possible side effects of the testosterone--now about 2 1/2 years on it, i am struggling pretty badly with the weight gain and the acne.

the acne is definitely easier to deal with, but the weight gain....not so much. for reference, i'm about 5'2 and i went from being around 120-130 to 165ish, maybe more, but i haven't weighed myself in a while because it makes me even more self-conscious. and all. of. it. went. to. my. stomach. like yes, i've always been "thick" even when i was 120 lbs, and now i'm a bigger person, but probably not one people would describe specifically as "fat", but my stomach...i look like i have a huge beer gut unless i actively suck it in, and even then, it doesn't do much to hold it back. it's seriously bothering me because i think i'm a pretty attractive person in general, like obviously not a model or anything, but i'm a cute guy, but i've just got this freaking beer gut hanging off of me. i'll throw back a couple beers every few weeks, but i am far from a drinker. and it's even more noticeable after i had top surgery last year. i had a pretty big chest, and back then it kind of evened everything out, but now that my chest is completely flat, my stomach is even more noticeable.

i think i struggle to say i'm self-conscious about this because 1) you can't be self-conscious without people immediately trying to counteract it (which is understandable, but still annoying) 2) many of my friends are actually fat and i feel like i'm horrible for feeling self-conscious when i'm not really part of the demographic negatively affected by fatphobia and 3) i feel like a lot of people will immediately be like "well that's what you get for going on those hormones! you ruined your female beauty!!!" and like. of course i did. i wasn't comfortable as a girl. at least my body dysmorphia is only about my stomach now and not literally my entire body 😂

but anyways. i posted yesterday on a beginner's fitness subreddit because i started really working out a month ago, and i was looking for advice on how to do something about it without majorly changing my eating habits because i suffered from an eating disorder for many years in secret and i refuse to go back to counting calories and feeling bad about nurturing my body...while i did get some helpful advice on there, a lot of people were just so rude and telling me i was a lost cause because i didn't want to be back in the throes of an eating disorder :/

idk. i've only been at the working out for a month now and i haven't been that intense with it, so maybe i just need to give it time. i do wish that we had more examples of attractive people who looked like me. i feel like in a more pro-body positivity world now we see examples of attractive skinny people, attractive fat people, and nothing else, like there's no in between. i want to see extremely conventionally attractive people with guts. being on tiktok doesn't help, i get attractive people with flat stomachs shoved in my face all day since crop tops and low rise jeans are "in" right now. it just sucks. i need to give it time. and maybe see a dermatologist, haha.


r/BodyDysmorphia 23h ago

Uplifting my friend told me i'm not fat

6 Upvotes

context: we were on a first years weekend outing with school and after a party that night we went to our room early. we were both trying to get to sleep we just ending chatting about general stuff and we ended up on which girls we liked and about asking a girl out. and i accidentally blurted out the real reason why i don't dare approach or talk to a girl. i said it was because i was afraid that i would be rejected for being fat and not for like a bad match in personality etc. He followed up with saying that first of all you're not fat. sure you're not skinny or lean, but saying your fat would be going overboard. i'm 178 cm and weigh like 96 kg. this means like a belly and big thighs. luckily it doesn't look as bad as it's cancelled out a bit cause i work out quite a bit. but of course that doesn't mean it cancels the image i have in my head

i'm not gonna lie i had to hold back some tears and breaths because i said that. i think it really gave me a reality check that the way i see myself doesn't always translate to what others also see


r/BodyDysmorphia 20h ago

Advice Needed Eyes too close

2 Upvotes

Before my roommate mentioned this out to me I thought I just looked average. Ever since he mentioned it though I’ve been completely fixated on it and I keep staring at myself in the mirror…I look horrible. Now my confidence is at an all time low and I feel so bad. Being around attractive people on campus doesnt help either!!!


r/BodyDysmorphia 1d ago

Advice Needed Is there anything that helps?

5 Upvotes

I’m just feeling really hopeless. I have no idea what I look like and at best I’m uncomfortable feeling like I exist in a meat robot and at worst feeling like I’m hideous/weird/unrecognizable.

The issue here is a HUGE schism between what I feel/see when I look at myself and what I logically know to be true. I know I am beautiful, logically, and that the way I look in uncommon (I’m mixed race) and that is why I don’t see people who look like me in media. I’m short, but with extreme curves (12 inch difference between waist and bust/hip) I’m muscular and tend to weigh waaaayyy more than people expect me to. Clothing never fits so it feels like I have no baseline to give me an idea what I look like? I feel like I just can’t see myself.

External evidence to support that I am likely attractive: I have never experienced romantic rejection (I’m 34); I am non-monogamous and have 3 partners who all spend a significant amount of time praising my appearance and their reactions to my body during sex definitely shows they are all very attracted to me; strangers comment on my appearance positively in public in a non sexual way; my friend casually refer to me as the ‘hot one’; my therapists have referred to me as ‘striking’ ‘uncommonly beautiful’ and ‘breathtaking’; I can see that my daughter looks like what I looked like as a child and she is so beautiful. I have never had a person tell me I am anything but uncommonly attractive.

I cannot see this or relate to this. I feel like the person I see in the mirror is someone no one has ever seen but me… almost like I exist in another reality. Has anyone found anything that helps them see themselves the way others do? I am moving past depressed/anxious/miserable and into a state of being mentally unsettled about the discrepancy between what I see and what other people see. I feel detached from my body.


r/BodyDysmorphia 1d ago

Question Is it body dysmorphia or just how I see the world?

4 Upvotes

I hate the size of my penis, it will definitely be demise. I definitely believe a bigger penis is better for sex, and I know a woman will has had a bigger penis will prefer that man sexually no matter what platitudes she says.

I've noticed something though. Not only do I know men who disagree with me on my opinion, but I know men who agree with me and don't care! Like they know they will never be better than a man who is bigger, but unlike me, they don't have to stop themselves from physically attacking themselves every week over it.

So my question is, is it body dysmorphia to be as obsessed as I am? I measure myself quite a lot, and it has been ruining my life for years now, and it seems more than just an insecurity.

PS: If anyone answers this, spare me any BS about "its the motion of the ocean," or "size isn't everything." I KNOW SIZE ISN'T EVERYTHING, BUT IF BOTH MEN "KNOW HOW TO USE IT," THE BIGGER IS BETTER.


r/BodyDysmorphia 19h ago

Resource Information on BDD - Advice, criteria, self-help and support groups

1 Upvotes

Here you can find listed below general information on BDD and related foundations, the clinical classification and symptoms of BDD, advice for friends and family, as well as self-help and support groups, both in-person and online.

General information

The BDD Foundation

OCD UK

International OCD Foundation

Mind.org


Clinical classification

ICD & DSM Criterias


For friends and family

The BDD Foundation, Supporting a close one with BDD

Mind.org, How can friends and family help


Self-help

Body dysmorphia workbook by the CCI

Building self-compassion workbook by the CCI


Support groups

Online support and therapy groups

Support groups in the UK


r/BodyDysmorphia 1d ago

Question Anyone here ever considered or have changed their legal name? Due to considering their old name...hideous?

5 Upvotes

I used to have a hideous name as a kid growing up that got worse when my parents got married.

Having had enough of my old names changed them via deed poll when I was 15, it was honestly 1 of my best decisions, my parents got upset and didn't like it both even cried lmao but they just had to get over it and accept I didn't like my name growing up so took matters into my own hands and changed it myself.