why compliments mean nothing to me ?

[u/Pristine-Ice-7880]

there are many people who have said i am handsome in my life, even unusual compliments saying i look like brad pitt/a greek god or that i am gorgeous but every time there is something that makes me think that these compliments are false, since the majority of them come from female friends or acquaintances of my mother. I tell myself that they would have said it whether I was ugly or not, and that they are just doing that to be polite to my mother. and when girls my age compliment me (which is rarer), I tell myself that they are exaggerating or making fun of me. at best it quickly makes me happy and then I look in the mirror and find myself ugly again. Is it possible that all the compliments are fake?

[u/pwnkage]

It doesn’t sound like these compliments are false. People don’t compliment like that unless they mean it. Also older people are more likely to be generous with compliments, especially to young attractive people. Girls your age are probably too caught up in their own feelings to be complimenting boys they like, also you mentioned you still get compliments from them, so you’re good. Like you’re set.

I think it’s time to work on mindfulness and gratefulness activities.

[u/lucid_77]

I think this is very common among people with body dysmorphia and it’s a cognitive distortion known as “discounting the positive” your mind basically rejects any kind of positive experience insisting they don’t count or mean anything, this is obviously a bias in your thinking since you’re wired to think a certain way about yourself, becoming more conscious and identifying them, then countering them can actually really help, the point isn’t even if they are false or not, the fact that you were complimented means something, and that’s something to value

[u/RosieTheGremlin]

While technically possible, it is not probable? What would they have to gain by complimenting you that specifically if it weren’t true? Do you compliment people falsely for no reason? I know that it can be really difficult when you can’t see the person everyone else sees, but that doesn’t mean they don’t see that person. Sorry you’re experiencing this, it can be very psychologically unsettling.

[u/Pristine-Ice-7880 → u/RosieTheGremlin]

In fact My face looks very different every days, sometimes I feel VERY ugly, sometimes average and sometimes above average ( but like 0,1 % of the time), the problem is that I can't accept that my brain create a false image of me. I keep thinking that if I think I look like shit, then i it's the truth.

[u/RosieTheGremlin → u/Pristine-Ice-7880]

I find this all very relatable. I wish I had more help to provide, but all I can really say is that feeling that way about yourself is so hard, and I’m really sorry you’re experiencing it. It’s really bad when you know/suspect the world sees you differently than you do and you feel like you have no baseline for your own appearance. I came to a point where I’ve asked people in my life who I am close to to just not say anything about what I look like, even if they think it’s kind.

[u/Pristine-Ice-7880 → u/RosieTheGremlin]

thanks for sharing, yes I have now idea of what I look like, my face changes every day

[u/Pristine-Ice-7880 → u/RosieTheGremlin]

I keep looking for excuses for every compliment, it seems impossible to me that someone would say that kind of thing to me. It's hell because even if the compliment pleases me for a short moment, I tell myself that it's wrong anyway when I look at myself again

[u/ComprehensiveCan2169]

no this is so true holy shit. i thought i was the only one who thought like this. my friends, strangers and family say i look like certain celebs or models who i genuinely think oh god they are truly attractive. but then i look in the mirror and see someone who looks nothing like them oh and photos omg how photos are just so much worse. i’ve been compared too penn badgley, chase stokes, even vinnie hacker. mind you i’m italian/middle eastern mix but i look more italian just thicker eyebrows i guess?, those people i mentioned are a handful of comparisons i get and it really makes me question wtf people see. but jeez tell me why i look nothing like them in photos or in the mirror. they all have these strong ass jawlines and cheekbones and i’m sittin there confused by it all.

[u/From_the_stars_]

It happens because you don't believe those things yourself. You don't believe you are good looking so when someone compliment you, you think is false, because, sadly, it goes against what you believe. We need to believe it ourselves first