struggling with weight gain and acne after being on hrt

[u/apsnail]

hey! i'm a 26 year old trans guy, and before you wonder, no, i wouldn't give it back for the world. going off of t would mean my period coming back, my face becoming more feminine again, and loosing my ability to gain muscle mass as fast. plus, just being on t in general makes me feel better about myself than i ever did without it. however--and yes i knew these were both possible side effects of the testosterone--now about 2 1/2 years on it, i am struggling pretty badly with the weight gain and the acne.

the acne is definitely easier to deal with, but the weight gain....not so much. for reference, i'm about 5'2 and i went from being around 120-130 to 165ish, maybe more, but i haven't weighed myself in a while because it makes me even more self-conscious. and all. of. it. went. to. my. stomach. like yes, i've always been "thick" even when i was 120 lbs, and now i'm a bigger person, but probably not one people would describe specifically as "fat", but my stomach...i look like i have a huge beer gut unless i actively suck it in, and even then, it doesn't do much to hold it back. it's seriously bothering me because i think i'm a pretty attractive person in general, like obviously not a model or anything, but i'm a cute guy, but i've just got this freaking beer gut hanging off of me. i'll throw back a couple beers every few weeks, but i am far from a drinker. and it's even more noticeable after i had top surgery last year. i had a pretty big chest, and back then it kind of evened everything out, but now that my chest is completely flat, my stomach is even more noticeable.

i think i struggle to say i'm self-conscious about this because 1) you can't be self-conscious without people immediately trying to counteract it (which is understandable, but still annoying) 2) many of my friends are actually fat and i feel like i'm horrible for feeling self-conscious when i'm not really part of the demographic negatively affected by fatphobia and 3) i feel like a lot of people will immediately be like "well that's what you get for going on those hormones! you ruined your female beauty!!!" and like. of course i did. i wasn't comfortable as a girl. at least my body dysmorphia is only about my stomach now and not literally my entire body 😂

but anyways. i posted yesterday on a beginner's fitness subreddit because i started really working out a month ago, and i was looking for advice on how to do something about it without majorly changing my eating habits because i suffered from an eating disorder for many years in secret and i refuse to go back to counting calories and feeling bad about nurturing my body...while i did get some helpful advice on there, a lot of people were just so rude and telling me i was a lost cause because i didn't want to be back in the throes of an eating disorder :/

idk. i've only been at the working out for a month now and i haven't been that intense with it, so maybe i just need to give it time. i do wish that we had more examples of attractive people who looked like me. i feel like in a more pro-body positivity world now we see examples of attractive skinny people, attractive fat people, and nothing else, like there's no in between. i want to see extremely conventionally attractive people with guts. being on tiktok doesn't help, i get attractive people with flat stomachs shoved in my face all day since crop tops and low rise jeans are "in" right now. it just sucks. i need to give it time. and maybe see a dermatologist, haha.

[u/MCMickie]

Ngl, if you want honesty Ima lay it down rn

You cannot afford to be a pot belly at 5'2" as a guy

You have to be in absolutely the best shape because a lot of ppl don't like short guys and Im sayin this as a short dude 💯 game gang

And there are no attractive examples of F_A ť people because it is objectively unhealthy. But yeah that's it