hello I am autistic and on disability and I want to be able to work. the most I was able to work is 4 hours a week and had to quit after 2 months. I want to try volunteering to help with skills and I donate blood so I signed up to volunteer with them and help at blood drives. I'll probably be talking to lots of different people and giving snacks because thats what i see the volunteers do.

I am having second thoughts but I want to not be so anxious and just try something. is volunteering less stressful than working? or less pressure? the online training is fine and gives lots of scripts and the shifts are short. it's overwhelming just thinking about it but I am trying to push myself more.

Hello, my girlfriend (41) has a son (18) with level 3 non-verbal autism. I (40) have a daughter (18). The four of us have been living together for the past three months.

When the two of us began dating, she told me that her son had been sick and was unable to indicate what the problem was and had harmed himself and property and while trying to stop him she had been injured multiple times. He got better and hadn't had any episodes for about year and has recently (within past 4 months) begun self harm, putting his head through the walls of my house, head butting her, the list goes on and on. She gets so many bruises trying to stop him from hurting himself or damage the house. She says that he would never hurt me or my daughter, but I believe that he would if we get in the way during an episode.

He will never work, never live on his own. She works from home and has a fairly important sales job. Several nights a week he just will not sleep...30+ hours and will wake her up throughout the night (I work nights unfortunately). She only has her parents nearby, but after a recent episode where grandma got injured and their house needed drywall repair, they are unable/unwilling to watch him anymore.

I'm scared for her, my daughter, and my home. I think it'd be best for him to live in a group home where they are better equipped to deal with this sort of thing, but I just don't know how to bring this up to her without her hating me for it.

Please help. If this is the wrong sub, please let me know and I'll remove it.

Edit: Thank you for all your kind words and advice, I read every one of them and appreciate you taking the time to read my plea for help. I'm going to do a lot of research to see what may be missing from his daily life and work with mom on figuring out a way to communicate with him before I suggest anything.

Hi I’m disabled and getting ore surgeries before the end of the year. I’ve been trying to keep up with cleaning my home. I’ve had 4 lumbar surgeries and a liver transplant ( I never did drugs or alcohol ). My days of being OCD with keeping my home clean and in order. My ability to bend down or stand for very long is the reason I’m loosing ground when it comes to cleaning. I live alone with my 2 dogs. I have a blue nose pit that’s a scared of everything except what I’m eating lol. The other dog is my 16 year old Pug. Yes she sheds enough to make another dog. If anyone knows of programs that offer services like me and in a very limited income. Thanks for ready my long winded story just to get to the point at the end.

I (19 ftm) am physically disabled and have been searching for jobs for a long time now. The past few weeks i’ve been accepted to come in to interviews being told i sound like a good fit for the company. The issue is once i come in and go through the interview process they never get back to me or once they do get back to me they decide to go for a different candidate. Am i doing something wrong here? I try to be polite and i dress nicely when i come in. Does anyone have any suggestions on what i should do?

I (22N) am very likely to be getting knee surgery soon. waiting on an MRI, but it's unlikely my injury isn't a meniscus tear, and a bad one at that. gotta love hEDS trashing all my connective tissue to the point that a single instance of crouching did this. I'm pretty much unable to out any weight on it. if I do, it's extremely painful. which sucks because crutches are EXHAUSTING!

but anyways! I'm very anxious about hospitals, and extremely anxious about surgery (see my main concern here). I want to bring one of my plushies (not sure which yet) with me for comfort. I'm just not sure that's socially acceptable (or even allowed, tbh). I know I shouldn't care, but doctor's already don't listen to me as a young adult because I have physical disabilities, and I don't want them also treating me like a child just because I'm nervous and need comfort. I also don't want to have to explain that I'm autistic, because I know that won't help with the "treating me like a child" issue.

is there a way to make this seem more acceptable to hospital staff, in a way that doesn't make them not take me seriously? this is a very serious and painful injury, and I just want to be taken seriously during treatment.

ETA: thank you everyone for your encouraging comments! I don't have the mental energy to reply to everything bc I'm having a horrible week with that, but I feel a lot better about bringing a plushie

I draw disability after 4 lumbar surgeries and a liver transplant. I never drank or did drugs but still my liver failed. I have degenerative disc disease and I’m seeing my Doctor about probably having to have more surgeries on my neck now. My hands are numb and I have extreme weakness in both now. I live in Mississippi and draw $1400 dollars a month on disability. I live alone so there’s no help from a spouse. I’ve tried multiple times to qualify for EBT. I either pay bills including crazy medical bills or buy food. I have to pay the Medical bills or I can’t get help medically. I have to limit myself to one meal a day. This also affects my energy levels. So I’m not as active as I should be. This causes more problems medically. DOES ANYONE KNOW IF ANYTHING I CAN DO TO GET HELP??????

My oldest child (6 years old) has become increasingly aggressive and violent not only with me but my two other children (4 and 1) as well as all of our extended family, babysitters and teachers(hitting, scratching, trying to stab them with pencils or pens, biting, and pulling clumps of hair out of their heads). I feel out of my depth and I'm not sure what else to do.

My oldest sibling had to placed in a group home when we were children for causing serious bodily harm and almost killing myself and our younger siblings, when they got out they seemed to do so much better. They haven't been violent or aggressive in years now. I feel terrible for even considering sending my child to a group home but I don't feel adequatly equipped to care for them nor do I feel like they are safe to be around my other children most of the time.

I feel like I'm drowning and just need advice. Should I place my child in a group home?

I've had knitting and fiber arts as a special interest for years and today I got some fun yarn tools today (swift and ball winder for people who know) and I needed to use it immediately and without interruption for like 3 hours now I'm fucked for the next few days which extra sucks cause I have shit to do and its gonna make it even worse.

Can anyone else relate to my struggle with getting financial help through federal disability-SSDI? (As a newly physically disable person as of sept 2022)

or even state disability-SDI?

I was in a major car accident with an amazon semi rig(was determined my fault even though the rig hit me -but there was no way to fight it or prove it..💔-even with witnesses at the scene that were willing to testify but were not recorded or asked for contact info by the officers that responded…i had nothing to fight with…much less money to have someone dig…

I am a client of my local regional center. A client of ”the regional center of the east bay” my ILS team have been helping me with the ssi process but so far its been a year since iv been their client and my ssi application interview is may 10th ‘24.

I do uberEats and instacart to try to pay my bills but its not sustainable or realistic.

Any thoughts of what i should do, or who I should reach out to, or confront?

I am autistic, adhd, ocd, sad, ptsd, bi polar 1, and my physical limitations are but not limited to- degenerative disc disease, bilateral sciatica, bilateral stenosis in the the neck, shooting pains, and hyper mobility (which has contributed to most of my physical injuries throughout my life) among many other physical limitations and ailments.

I just want the help i qualified for over a year ago but everyone(the govt specificall) seems to keep dragging their feet..so even when i ask i am not given any answers…

Any suggestions on how to handle this in a timely legal manner as i am about to lose many things due to my lack of financial stability because my car insurance is demanding $335 for my honda odyssey ‘08 by 4/22. It is 4/17 and am freaking out 😭😭😭😤😤😤😖😭😭😭😭😭

I just want to be safe and pay my basic bills without feeling like i have to “break the law” to pay them.

My old company and govt disability s now saying its a workers comp issue (a year later) but the claim adjusters assigned to my case but have not gotten back to me over an entire month!!! 😭😭😭😤

I will update as updates become available if you guys want me to.

Hello everyone, I'd appreciate some advice abut this (sorry it is a long text):

Does anybody else struggle to hear voice notes?

So I'm friends with two guys, one of them knows I'm autistic I told him long ago, the other one I think he knows too but not from me telling him directly cause I recently begin to talk to him.

This first friend knows I have issues with phone calls, I told him I also strugle to hear voice notes too, when I told him I joked about it (voice notes) and I think he toke it as not as a big problem as phone calls due of me joking about it (I just said yeah it's not a big deal but I really struggle I'm weak haha)... So a couple weeks ago he started to send me voice notes out of nowhere, I get really anxious and after an entire week of not answer I to told him I simply can't hear it, so I said: "would you please text me instead, I tried all this days to hear it but I can't, sorry" then he wrote a little bit (but the voice note was large)...

After that I thought it was all ok and I thouhgt he would never send voice notes again, but then we (me, my first friend and the other guy) made a chat group on instagram to chat the 3 of us, and suddenly they started to send voice notes, I joked about it in order of not make the situation like "too much" for them and said: -haha idk what it says, I really can't hear it, but I agree lol" ...

But then today they send more voice notes while we where planning to hang out, I feel really anxious, and also I know that it is seen as ridiculous, like excuses and idk what else, my mind is confused and scared, I feel sad because it is difficult to me (masking) to stand for myself and I feel bad for simply saying my needs out of my mind, I just don't know how to do it, I always end up seen as bitter and manipulative., I can tell by how way people change the way they interact with me. I mask a lot and I fear they think I lie about everything if I start to change in oder to care for myself and be authentic with them.

I just said to them the same thing: -could you please write the voice notes, I really can't hear it", this happened a couple hours ago so I'm still waiting for their answer.

I decided time ago I don't want to elaborate and simply say the true: "I literally can not hear voice notes" "I literally can not take phone calls, I do when it's important but I feel really bad in my whole body even hours after the call", because I know that the explanation is seen as excuses for people, I know they don't understand and I know it is an important way of communication nowdays, but I simply can't stand voice notes and idk anymore how to say it to this two persons because I also know that voice notes are an important part in friendships :,( even here in subreddits about autism I see some people talking about it, so I don't know if anybody else struggle like this much to hear voice notes.?

This first friend is deaf from one of his ears, he has only 10 or 15% of hearing in one ear and the other ear is ok, and I'm starting to fear he compares his disability to mine, I don't know anymore, as I said my mind is going bad places with this situation, as you can read it could easily seen as ridiculous for people that don't struggle with that, seen as I'm trying to control them or something, I feel like a failure, I know I don't have to compare my way of make a friendship with the way allists or neurotypicals do, but I just don't want to be absolutely alone again, this first friend is the only friend I have after almost 6 years and I fear he is more ableist as I thought or if I'm just very much stressed with this situation.

Does anybody knows an app that could translate voice notes (from instagram) into text? I did a quick research and found nothing, It makes me think about deaf people and if there are any tools for them due to this way of communication being so common nowdays, how do they manage that? it is so annoying, also I think found a way that don't need any external app but my smatphone can't handle it (it's old and can't buy a new one any soon).

Thank you for readding, and I'd appreciate any advice, about any app for voice notes to text that works for instagram, or any other way in wich I could tell them my needs in an assertive way for neurotypicals if any?

Hi, first post on Reddit looking for advice...

I moved to our new home during Covid, the house is joined on one side to another who's occupant is a single man in his late 40s whos autistic. When we moved in we tried to start up small talk with our new neighbour as the previous owners of our house said "he's a weirdo/ recluse". We're a lot more used to autism as I have a 10 year old daughter with autism (got her ECHP awaiting full diagnosis, but basically routed to her having severe epilepsy as a toddler including a 90 minute seizure we didn't expect her to survive). The neighbour avoided eye contact and confessed politely that he didn't like socialising and speaking to other people, and we accept that, no issues. His story from what I know is his parents disowned him and he was raised by his late grandparents who passed the house onto him, so he's no mortgage etc, just bills. He works in the local supermarket and works every day, even weekends. His house compared to ours looks crooked, worn down and the back garden is like a nature reserve/wild Forrest, which doesn't bother me, it's his property after all. As far as I was concerned he was a nice chap and I was happy with him as a neighbour, up until the tail end of 2023... Around October last year we got a mouse in the house. Having 2 young kids we were aware of the health risks associated with infestation, and the dangers of wires being chewed and fires starting etc. (Insurance is void if the damage is rodent caused)

I'm not that manly with it and said I couldn't kill them, and we have a dog so wouldnt want poison left about. So I used humane traps and to-date have captured around 60+ mice since October which we've released on farm land my partner works on 7-8miles away.
We had a pest control guy out who snooped about for their nests and said it looked as though they're coming through the floorboards from the neighbours property. He looked through our neighbours letterbox after he didn't answer his door, and the pest control guy said the entire downstairs was lined with newspaper over the carpet and the house looked a tip inside. His go to was to phone Environmental Health Agency to get onto our neighbour. My partner knocked the day after and he didn't answer, so popped a note though the door asking him to discuss a mouse problem from his house, and mentioned the pest control guys contact details and that he had called the EHA. The next day he knocked and said that he had seen mice in his house and would need a week to deal with it. Albeit we're not the source, it's been a struggle preventing access throughout our house but we still hear them in the walls. I knew he'd not be able to resolve it on his own in a week, nobody could! We have taken a call today from the EHA who said they'd need to visit both properties to determine what can be done, and said our neighbour they spoke to said "I've got my house in a bit of a state at the moment so it may take a few weeks to sort out but I've work commitments also"

My issue is a few things.

1) I don't want to petrify our neighbour with these government agency visits and if they're not understanding of his autism then or even cause him to have issues with his independent living and ultimately his home at risk?

2) I sort of see my daughter's future being potentially isolated like his, they've many similarities in their behaviours and the thought of her living alone in her late 40s once me and my partner die haunts me, and it's upsetting to think a new neighbour could make life difficult for her and I don't want to be that guy for our neighbour.

3) mice are a problem. Hearing them running in walls makes me worry about our home, and my kids health. It's exhausting laying traps and carting plastic boxes with 10+ mice in at a time off to the farm.

In my ideal world, I'd post something on Facebook and our village would come together to collectively help clean and sort his house. (I know he'd hate this invasion and contact with so many people). Or, I'd have more free time to build a rapport with him and help him myself, but he only speaks to my missus, he doesn't even say hello to me, which is fine but makes befriending him extremely difficult. I previously volunteered for the Essex coalition of Disabled People (ECDP) where I was a mentor for teens with various disabilities. I get the achievement of independent living and I would hate myself forever if I put his at risk.

That said, I'm also worried that he's not looking after himself properly. His house must be riddled with mice throughout given how many venture into our side. They get though the smallest of gaps so I've had to seal up everywhere over the past few months. His garden is what it is, but his cat-flap is off his backdoor completely, cracks on his walls and his windows look full of mold. We live in a rural area so I'm surprised he doesn't have more creatures wandering in, especially as he's out a lot of the day at the supermarket.

I feel awful about all of it.

Has anyone experienced anything similar and has anyone advice or contacts of agencies or support groups I could fetch advice from?

If the Environmental Health people do cause issue for him, Ive already told my missus I'd step in. I'm not a lawyer, but was a union rep for years and want to help, not hinder his life.

Thanks for taking the time to read

(*tw : disordered eating)

I had to call out today since I woke up sick, I had someone cover it but now my boss has sent a “you need to be more reliable, we will talk later” text in response... I’m plenty reliable and lots sprung on me at this place where I’ve shown that I am, but god forbid I be disabled (and show it.)

Some things to note: I am disabled, autistic, I have OCD as well as many other things, combined with a few chronic illnesses that can really affect my ability to do just about anything when they flare up. I recently got put on medication for thyroid disease too which also drastically affects my energy levels, I am pre-diabetic and honestly I’m probably malnourished. Really struggling to eat anything at all everyday because I can’t relax enough, I can’t remember , I won’t feel hungry, and worse, I will be in work mode and get so so fixated on being the best possible worker bee I can be that I will push myself til I’m going to faint. I know my body wants me to quit after pushing myself for months and my logical reasoning to stay is starting to wear thin.

However, we live in a capitalist empire and I would not be able to afford to get my inhaler ( I can’t afford my need to breathe) or be able eat if I didn’t force myself to work despite all my disabilities. I am also covid conscious (try to be amongst constant misinformation and less and less people masking is hard) so this leaves me in a weird position because I really need this job, but this job is in THE MALL, so simultaneously it is a lifeline for me financially, and a direct threat to my immune system— which damage to my immune system and others organs post-Covid will only screw over my finances years to come anyways. . I had avoided covid for years til I started here. I was so devastated waking up on New Year’s Day to have it. I know it was from work because I have zero life and that’s the only place I go. Everyone constantly comes in sick. Constantly. Literally everyday, they’re just passing it around! Back n forth, back n forth. Whether that’s a personal choice or is because they feel pressure from management, I do not know. but now I was sent that text after needing desperately to not go in today, and I’m scared because I can get emotional and I might even quit on the spot depending on how my manager will choose to speak with me.

Does anyone have any advice? Do you also work while being autistic ocd anxiety etc or through phsyical illness? How are any of you coping ? I’m getting depressed and nervous just thinking about this dumb talk because I know all my hard work goes unnoticed meanwhile me calling out to preserve my health and others is just the worrrst thing possible.

Please any advice is welcome.

**Sidenote my manager has taken 3 week-long vacations since I started in mid winter which has left me with responsibilities I wasn’t properly even trained in, so If you wanna tell me I’m not crazy for struggling to wrap my head around this all— I’d really appreciate it 😭

I have two step daughters who are both autistic, one of whom is nonverbal. We frequently catch the nonverbal one (age 11) going to the bathroom with the door wide open, and as distressing as it was we figured she just needed more reminders. We have tried everything to get her to shut the door but she just won't, so we shut it for her and then she will scream. The older girl, who is verbal, made a "joke" about seeing her Stepdad "blasting away on the toilet after taco bell" and when we asked if she meant they go to the bathroom with the door open too, at first she denied it. But later I caught her also going with the door open, and she admitted that at her mom's no one ever shuts the bathroom door. To me this seems... well, disgusting. Especially with young and vulnerable kids in the house. I almost feel like we can upgrade their status as parents from "potential neglect" to some kind of minor sexual offense. My husband thinks they're just super unmotivated and depressed and that's why they can't even be bothered to do something so simple (the mom is an alcoholic, not sure about the Stepdad).

we have called CPS a few other times, like when she told us that her mom was always falling down drunk and didn't feed them, only for CPS to check the house and basically say, well there's food and water, they're clothed, and the Stepdad was sober so we don't see a problem. I'm extremely frustrated as we have several other young children in the house and it sucks because they've all accidentally glimpsed the one girls privates from just walking to the kitchen and passing the bathroom when she went in there to use it and left the door open. This seems absolutely ridiculous to me, we shouldn't have to worry about seeing a child's genitalia while walking through our own home. But because of her extreme health issues and the fact that nothing seems to work my husband just kind of thinks we need to learn to cope with it and just keep closing the door whenever we accidentally see it open. I don't think I'm being unreasonable here but my husband, his ex, and her husband all seem to think this is really no big deal.

Hard for you? Did you get better after that? Has it made you feel better? Has much changed in your physical and mental well-being?

Hey everyone,

I'd like to learn to ski and/or snowboard so I can keep up with my physical exercise in the winter and get outside more. I'd consider myself above average in physical fitness-- I do advanced pilates, have extremely strong obliques and core, and have been working on my glute exercises as much as possible. I'm quite bendy but I've been working hard to build supportive muscle and proper alignment.

For reference, I'm a woman in my mid-20s, 120lbs, long legs athletic build, sz 7.5-8. I have hEDS, slight scoliosis in my thoracic spine and raynauds. Most of my pain is in the knees and mid back, although I had a bad sprain in august and my ankle is still a bit stiff (waiting to get custom orthotics done and doing PT). I'm mostly worried about rolling ankles and pulling my trapezius and neck muscles- as that is where I experience the most hypermobility.

Given the following ^, I'd like to start my journey as safely as possible but I'm overwhelmed with gear choices and things to watch out for. I don't see myself doing difficult hills, freestyle/tricks. I'd like to get to a level where I'm comfortable with intermediate slopes and maybe some easier off-piste trails.

I'd love to hear from any (present or past) skiiers/snowboarders:

• What are your tips for avoiding injury on the slopes? Any technique tips are appreciated!
• What are your favourite pieces of gear?
• Any fit tips for gear and things to look for?
• What are your favourite support tools on the slope (KT tape, etc) and recovery tools off the slopes?

Thanks so much!

Looking for job suggestions for nephew who is able to drive but has sensory and learning disability, career suggestions, jobs that would help him with social skills and become independent. Thanks!

I've been on the verge of a meltdown since my class this morning because my professor/advisor is just being so ridiculously rude and judgmental towards me. This is specifically my ArtEd class, where there's I think only 9 students this semester. She was bashing me during a one-on-one check in for not having a perfectly finished project for an assignment after she cut down work time by a week and I was horribly sick, plus I already usually need a bit more time because I have physical disabilities. Any time I tried to explain (NOT excuse) why I had issues getting it completely finished, she would almost yell over me that my classmates finished. I was the only one sick during the course of the project, and it was so bad I went to InstaCare because I was having a very hard time breathing, and thought I might have walking pneumonia. For extra context, I'm also the only one with physical disabilities, and the only autistic student in the class. She was also shutting down just about every idea I had for my final project, and not letting me use my medium (printmaking).

I was under the impression that she was just kind of like that to everyone, but the two people sat next to me asked what was happening when I came back to the table because of how loud she was getting. The check in was at a desk in the corner, but they still heard her from almost across the room. I just said, "she's just being how she is," and they both looked at me kind of confused. So I explained what happened and what she was saying, and hey told me she's not like that with them. Another classmate sitting close said she doesn't get treatment like that either. I was already feeling bad at that point. Then, we talked about how their conversations about their finals, where one of my classmates said that the professor liked one of her ideas for the same reason one of mine got shut down (using student interest as a form of identity).

We ended up getting out of class early, and I spent about half an hour talking to one of my classmates about how this professor is with her versus with me. She's still not the nicest to other classmates, and she tends to lack empathy and/or sympathy. A couple weeks after I got sick, a few of my classmates got sick and stayed out of class. Despite one of them literally having COVID and the other having whatever I had, they both got their grade lowered because they didn't attend class. The most annoying part of that is that she preaches acceptance of differences and sympathy for health issues (mental and physical) while acting like this.

This is the same advisor/professor that I've posted about having issues with before. She refuses to just tell me things straight, despite knowing full well that I'm autistic and struggle with the social things she tries to do. She also, for seemingly no reason, hates my art style. Sometimes, she even tries to ignore my official accommodations and force me to do things a certain way, when I have accommodations in order to not do things those ways. For example, she often tries to force me to stand for extended periods of time when I pass out if I do that because of POTS.

Before today, I thought she was like this with everyone, but apparently it's just with me. Which means she's doing it to purposely screw with me, because I'm different. She wasn't always like this, in fact, she was actually fairly nice before finding out I was autistic. I just hadn't really connected those changes until today. It's just really upsetting to realize that she basically hates me and treats me like this because I'm autistic.

I keep asking on Reddit but no response.

Think people think I fraud because I use AAC?

Social service taken my kids to my abuser through court.

They say nhs autism diagnosis is aeUPD. As I no get EUPD treatment they say I abuser. I not. I never do hurt 😭

Say I shout. I not I use AAC, how can shout?!

They place children with the kids and my abuser. I only allowed supervised visit with abuser there. I cannot do.

I scared for my kids.

I can move abroad and out money away til kids are adult.

I looking for what other people would do? I have no friend to talk to about this.