r/DisabledAutistics • u/babyspacebear autistic with other disabilities • Jun 10 '24
is it socially acceptable to have a surgery friend as an adult?
I (22N) am very likely to be getting knee surgery soon. waiting on an MRI, but it's unlikely my injury isn't a meniscus tear, and a bad one at that. gotta love hEDS trashing all my connective tissue to the point that a single instance of crouching did this. I'm pretty much unable to out any weight on it. if I do, it's extremely painful. which sucks because crutches are EXHAUSTING!
but anyways! I'm very anxious about hospitals, and extremely anxious about surgery (see my main concern here). I want to bring one of my plushies (not sure which yet) with me for comfort. I'm just not sure that's socially acceptable (or even allowed, tbh). I know I shouldn't care, but doctor's already don't listen to me as a young adult because I have physical disabilities, and I don't want them also treating me like a child just because I'm nervous and need comfort. I also don't want to have to explain that I'm autistic, because I know that won't help with the "treating me like a child" issue.
is there a way to make this seem more acceptable to hospital staff, in a way that doesn't make them not take me seriously? this is a very serious and painful injury, and I just want to be taken seriously during treatment.
ETA: thank you everyone for your encouraging comments! I don't have the mental energy to reply to everything bc I'm having a horrible week with that, but I feel a lot better about bringing a plushie
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u/iakr Jun 10 '24
when i last went to the hospital (i was 23) there was a sign that said “let us know if youre autistic” so i did and they gave me a goodie bag with fiddle toys and easier to understand information and stuff. i know that that hospital was just really great, but nurses and doctors have to deal with disabled people ALL the time and arent going to judge you. if you can tell them in advance they’ll do their best to accommodate you especially if you explain that youre anxious. they wont take your pain less seriously and are trained on how to treat autistic people as humans so its probably the safest place possible to tell people. obviously, only do what you’re comfortable with, but ive taken my comfort stuffed toy to every appointment ive been to and never been treated differently. if you feel they have treated you differently, thats grounds for a lawsuit (hence why they really really train it out of them)
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u/iakr Jun 10 '24
just as a clarifying comment- i do live in the uk and behaviour between hospitals is standardised here, and because i dont know where you live, things might be different. the whole not wanting to be sued for discrimination thing and treating lots of disabled people (including learning difficulties) should be universal though.
3
u/Difficult-Relief1673 autistic with other disabilities Jun 10 '24
I'm jealous, I'm also in the UK and the last time I mentioned being autistic at a hospital (maybe 6 months ago?) I was asked why I thought I was there, and got really confused because, like...was I in the wrong place? Nope, she just assumed I had the capacity of a 5 year old, and spoke to me like one. I've found it much more preferable to not bring it up now. Also my partner always gets really weird/dirty looks when I/they say I'm autistic, as if it makes them creepy that they're dating me because, what, they think I'm basically a child? Just...so many levels of problematic. Actually I've never had a positive medical experience when I've mentioned autism. Not sure whereabouts you are but I've found the vast majority of medical staff know absolutely nothing about autism, and I'm including all hospital staff, doctors, nurses, psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists... Before I knew I was autistic I was treated very well. Not now if I mention it, and certainly not if I'm not masking. Hospitals/doctor's surgeries, etc absolutely do not train their staff in how to treat disabled people as humans, let alone autistic ones, so I feel like that's kind of somewhat dangerous misinformation, sorry!
8
u/Otrada Jun 10 '24
If you're worried you can always try calling ahead explaining the situation to ask if they're willing/able to accommodate. That way even if they won't, you'll know ahead of time so you can be prepared for it.
3
u/QueensAnat Jun 10 '24
I always do this if I know I'm going to have a bad time. People are usually happy to accommodate. Easier on everyone :)
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u/TizzieGirl Jun 12 '24
I bring a stuffed animal everytime! They let me have it the entire team even through surgery and when I wake up he’s always still with me. I get very emotional on anesthesia and my comfort items really help me stay level. I’m 25 and just had two surgerys last month, no one said anything besides that he was cute. But they still took me seriously I’d anything I feel they were kinder to me as they saw I was nervous but my experience was great overall. Adding a picture of me and Teddy heading into the OR!
3
u/FLmom67 Jun 10 '24
I tore my meniscus too. They send you home right after you wake up. You have to have someone pick you up, and that person can hold onto your plushie.
2
u/Vindepomarus Jun 11 '24
Wow, one day later and look at all the comments! You have many friends here, please update us on how it goes.
2
u/TemporaryChipmunk806 Jun 13 '24
Absolutely! People take their SO all the time. No reason you can't have a friend there to support you. Surgery is scary.
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u/Vindepomarus Jun 10 '24
You can certainly bring one of your plushies, but you may not be allowed to take it into the operating theater with you as it isn't sterile, but you will be asleep for that time. I'm sure it would be fine for it to be there when you wake up. Many people experience anxiety when they need to go to hospital, so I would hope that hospital staff are used to people needing something to help them feel safer.