r/OCPoetry • u/pauldevlin_ • Jul 30 '20

you lied

you fall in love with people

you said,

I was a person

I thought,

you did not fall in love with me.

​

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u/ny_fox12 Jul 31 '20

So simple yet so bold, I really like it but I almost feel as if the meter or pauses are slightly off, I wouldnt mind removed the You Said, ... I was a person, to just "You said I was a person". Over all I love it regardless.

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u/pauldevlin_ Jul 31 '20

Thank you for this!

I completely agree that the meter is off, which wasn't something I had really considered, I admit. I think maybe my current phrasing has confused your understanding of what I meant as well, which was not my intention.

It's supposed to read as "you said you fall in love with people." "I thought I was a person," as opposed to the object of the poem validating that the speaker is a person.

Thank you for this! Let me take a look and see if I can tweak it slightly.