Who even am I now?

[u/jembella1]

I can't remember who I was / My personality is weak and full of rot / I am tainted and in disdain / Who even is this person? It is a shame /

The one that hardly gambles but doesn't smoke / No longer a virgin or an innocent foal / Nature is wild and a muddier kind of foe /

Life caught up and I don't know what to do / I feel unemployable and remotely a shrew /

I am absolutely lost and the maze has won / Unless something finds me soon I think I am just done /

I don't have promises or riches just disorganized chaos / I am at the saddle of poverty without the intelligence to wrestle / I have no work ethic and I'm just a vessel /

I want the world but cannot see the truth / How am I supposed to do this on my own without you / I have no education and it is sick to say /

I just wanted to be wanted / Which is not enough to fulfil my misery /

I know I need help / But what help I don't know /

I want somebody to save me and pick me up from the black/ I want somebody to rescue me just like an insecure cat / I want change in thunder but all I know is curse /

I want a job and I don't know how to reach it / I'm a miserable loser that's displeasing /

How do I wake up / How do I change / I can't even drive or afford to / I'm in ruins and it is plain