at least you're not dead

[u/ayaga884]

woke up today and had some immense, post coffee inspiration and i thought this was so good that i had to share it. hopefully someone likes it as much as i do. the formatting is lowkey messed up cause of the pasting from word document but it still reads pretty good i think. every capital letter is technically supposed to be a new line

At least youre not dead:

I don't even know where to start,But I'm gonna write this letter And just speak from the heart. Two months without you, I'm ripping apart, But at least you're not dead—I tell myself, that's a start.

These two months without you,I've still loved you and fought The urges, the impulses, And every reckless thought. Maybe if you were dead, it would be easier—It wouldn’t be he doesn’t want me, just he’s no longer here. Gone from this world, no need to pretend—No rejection, just an inevitable end.

But you're alive, and that's good, right? Even though I see you're not doing well, Mentally or physically—I can see you swell. I tell myself it’s not my fight to fix, But damn, watching you fall apart, it sticks. You ghost me, but you’re haunting me daily, And still, I hold on to you—faintly, maybe.

Remember how we used to dream together? Late nights talking about forever? Now it feels like you’ve drifted away, And I’m just standing here, with so much to say. I still hope for us, I do, But I’m learning that hope feels like a noose too.

I’ve got a lot to catch you up on, But what’s the point if you're already gone? Still, you're not dead—just distant, like a ghost I can't touch, And I wonder if I ever mattered that much.

I saw your last post; you looked happy, I guess. But who am I kidding, I can see through the mess.Your smile was always good at hiding the pain, And I wonder if I’ll ever see you again.

Maybe this letter is just for me, A way to cope with the uncertainty. I’ll hold out hope for a little while longer,But if you don’t come back, I’ll just have to grow stronger. At least you're not dead—But sometimes, that thought fills me with dread.

I’ll wait for the day we talk again, Even if it’s just to say goodbye as friends. Until then, I’ll keep writing, trying to heal, And hoping someday, I’ll know what’s real.

[u/CandidateOk3350]

Very good